Awake Awareness Knows Itself

[poppyseed]

Hi Drew

Hmmm.. I actually meant to say this, “ I’m absolutely exhausted from the day and I can’t relate/answer this right now. I’m falling asleep as I’m typing!”

Hehe honesty is always the best policy :)))

You didn’t say anything about this:

We can also look at time in more detail, if you want, as this is what is needed for cause and effect to take place

So I’m assuming you can’t wait to do some more looking…

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?
Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?
Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?
How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?
Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?
How long does the ‘now’ last?
Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?
When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?
What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?
So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?
Love
Rali

[mirrormoon]

Heloo Rali,


Ah ha!

You didn’t say anything about this:

We can also look at time in more detail, if you want, as this is what is needed for cause and effect to take place
So I’m assuming you can’t wait to do some more looking…

Oh, yeah, I was sleepy again. Its the only way I've been able to fit in replying at all these last few days. I remember editing it out, but I'm not sure why. But Yes! Lets explore this too! :D

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

There is only now.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

No. There is only THIS

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

No movement of any such kind.

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Its not moving at all!

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

There is no beginning!

How long does the ‘now’ last?

It never ends!

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

The now never started and 'now' does not end.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

'Now' doesn't become the past. Thought explores the concept, 'past'

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

Exploring the past, simply= Thinking(thought)

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

Only thoughts about the past or thoughts about the future. Neither of those are actually experienced! Time is a construct!

Love,
Drew

[poppyseed]

Hi Drew
At this point, it will be a good DE exercise to get out for an actual walk in nature and observe interconnectedness. See how ALL is moving interdependently, including thinking and the senses. Hold these questions in mind:
Is there anything that is separate from everything else?
Is there a border that divides “me” and “my body” from everything else, or is it just a thought? Is that interdependent movement outside of you? Is there an “inside” and an “outside”?
Is there an owner of being?
Are there others? Is there an “I” in others?
Is there a “you”?

I know that you are busy at the moment, so don’t just answer the questions but do the actual walk and then answer. Hopefully you’ll get a chance during the weekend. In the mean time don’t forget the breakdown of daily activities :)

Love
Rali

[mirrormoon]

Hi Rali,

Thanks for the second post today! I saw the email and was so excited to see what more questions there were to answer. I think I tore a muscle in my calf last week... As a result, walking is very challenging. So instead of a walk, I opted to sit in the backyard. The yard faces a natural space and stream that is owned and managed by the city. Lots of big trees and a very wild area with so many birds.

At this point, it will be a good DE exercise to get out for an actual walk in nature and observe interconnectedness. See how ALL is moving interdependently, including thinking and the senses. Hold these questions in mind:
Is there anything that is separate from everything else?

No. Nothing is separate

Is there a border that divides “me” and “my body” from everything else, or is it just a thought?

There are no thoughts suggesting "my body" or "me." There are no borders. Absolutely none.

Is that interdependent movement outside of you?

There is nothing 'outside.' Thoughts don't even suggest there is an 'outside' or an 'inside.'

Is there an “inside” and an “outside”?

There is neither.

Is there an owner of being?

There is no owner of being

Are there others?

There are 'others'

Is there an “I” in others?

There is no 'I' in others. Just as there is no owner of being.

Is there a “you”?

There are thoughts, but there is no "me."

TTYL :)

Love,
Drew

[poppyseed]

Hi Drew

So let's review where we are at with the following questions.

What has changed and what hasn’t in normal everyday living. What changes? What stays the same?
What is the biggest difference from before starting this conversation?
Is seeking still going on?
Is there any confusion at all or anything you would like to address?
Can you say with a big fat YES, it is clear what the illusion of a separate self is?

Love
Rali

[mirrormoon]

Hi Rali,
:)

So let's review where we are at with the following questions.

What has changed and what hasn’t in normal everyday living. What changes?

What is the biggest difference from before starting this conversation?

1) I do not identify as some observer who sees thoughts. I saw clearly that an observer is a thought itself. In this recognition I saw that the self and the not wanting of the self was all thought.

2) When I encounter someone who is upset in daily life, I don't become upset, and really there is no one here that their upset affects. There is my body's reaction to things, but it calms down after the upheaval. It feels like nature taking its course all day. Although sometimes it does react in a way that is conditioned(is this still self identity?). For instance, something may happen in "my environment" and as a result there is an automated response, but there is no locatable identity there.

3) The way I see 'people' is changed. There's not a self that I am entangled with, which it felt to be the case before. I see their behavior, patterns, etc. but not an other self.

4) Joyful memories from childhood are surfacing. Much of my childhood story is filled with trauma, but these memories coming through are ones where I'm a happy little boy. It's as if, due to self not being engaged, there's no need for repression of "painful" memories and as a result, this child is becoming free to be, unbound.

What stays the same?

All of direct experience is the same. THIS has not changed. This knowing before thought. The divine knowing that knows without using knowledge/thought has been here all along.

Is seeking still going on?

In the effort to remain transparent and honest, I think there is still seeking occurring. Maybe it just takes time to Settle in?
I'm not sure though if there is seeking occurring. It feels as though there is still something missing. Just a little nugget of something out of place.
Maybe it's just time to let go of the search and just be...

Is there any confusion at all or anything you would like to address?

^_^

Can you say with a big fat YES, it is clear what the illusion of a separate self is?

Maybe not a big fat YES, but a cautious, yes
The separate self is an identification with thoughts. Thoughts about thoughts which are just thoughts, simply= thinking. It's the playing of stories about direct experience but never actually is direct experience.
Awareness is not separate from direct experience, rather awareness IS direct experience. There is no self in that equation because self identification is a thought, just as separation is a suggestion of thought.


Love

[poppyseed]

Hi Drew

When I encounter someone who is upset in daily life, I don't become upset, and really there is no one here that their upset affects. There is my body's reaction to things, but it calms down after the upheaval. It feels like nature taking its course all day. Although sometimes it does react in a way that is conditioned(is this still self identity?). For instance, something may happen in "my environment" and as a result there is an automated response, but there is no locatable identity there.

I don’t know if this report is “on the surface” only, so I’m going to ask anyway just in case… When you say “my body's reaction to things”, what do you mean by that in DE? Body is a label for sensations. Let’s look at the sensation “upset”…

Look at the label/thought ‘upset’ itself. See the label/word ‘fear’ as a typewritten word.
Does the label ‘upset’ know anything about upset, or is the word just a bunch of letters?
Is the label ‘upset’ itself upset?
Can you find anything in the word itself that is upset?

2) Then look at the sensation and ignore everything else but the sensation itself.
Inquire into the sensation and ask if the sensation itself knows anything about ‘upset’.

Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is upset?
Does the sensation itself know anything about upset?
Can you find anything in the sensation itself or behind the sensation that is upset?

Also, if cause and effect exists only in thoughts, is there really a “conditioned reaction” or “automated response”? OR these are only thought descriptions? Are these changes in thought content that you are reporting?

All of direct experience is the same. THIS has not changed. This knowing before thought. The divine knowing that knows without using knowledge/thought has been here all along.

That sounds a bit like a quote from a teaching… What knowing is that? Is there knowing that is different from thoughts? What is there to be known? Also, are thoughts not divine?? What makes the one divine and the other not?
THIS is unknowable, indescribable, but experienceable. Can you describe what it is the taste of chocolate to someone who hasn’t tried it before? Even the recognition of “chocolate” or taste is a label – to know “something” is to cut it out from the whole, otherwise there is nothing to know. Do you agree??

Truth or reality is not an idea or a belief. It cannot be grasped by knowing. It does not need to be understood. Actually, it is impossible to understand. It is inconceivable, ungraspable. And yet, it can be directly seen/experienced. Any form of knowing is an abstraction :)

Maybe not a big fat YES, but a cautious, yes

To whom does this caution/doubt belong? Is there a cautious entity, or just thoughts about caution?

When you have two opposing views (i.e. view of reality) you have to keep checking their validity. What we are used to do is to check if a new idea fits with the rest of our beliefs and disregard it if it doesn’t (confirmation bias). The “caution” comes from that confirmation bias as you have not just one thought but a system of thoughts forming your view/belief system of reality. So to reduce the resistance/doubt you need to painstakingly examine all thoughts one by one as they appear in order for thoughts to self-organise and form a new core of beliefs. And I underlie self-organise as this is not in your control, it just happens. I’ve basically introduced a virus thought (LOOK!) that causes all thoughts to be reorganised around the experience :)
"Crossing the gate" is only a beginning, not an end. Nothing changed, but everything looks different. The recognition of no self is just the beginning of seeing life and “yourself” in a new light. It takes time to clean up all the "mess" (aka conditioning/stories), to settle in and adjust.
This video might help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJQcD588g2w

Love
Rali

[poppyseed]

Hey Drew

You still here???
Love
Rali

[mirrormoon]

Hey Rali,
I wrote this last night when I was super tired, but when I went to submit it, the page would not load... :|

So here I am again. I see now that I may have misunderstood your questions due to fatigue. Though I'm not going to edit this much before sending because I'm short on time, once again.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I encounter someone who is upset in daily life, I don't become upset, and really there is no one here that their upset affects. There is my body's reaction to things, but it calms down after the upheaval

I don’t know if this report is “on the surface” only, so I’m going to ask anyway just in case… When you say “my body's reaction to things”, what do you mean by that in DE?

Oh… It’s thinking(thought)...

Body is a label for sensations. Let’s look at the sensation “upset”…

Oh, I’m in thoughts again… I’m in thoughts about thoughts. Okay okay… I appreciate you Rali, much gratitude.
Frustration is coming and an avoidance too. Which to me is a great sign I’m on the correct path. This is quite the challenge to remain doing inquiry.

Look at the label/thought ‘upset’ itself. See the label/word ‘fear’ as a typewritten word.
Does the label ‘upset’ know anything about upset, or is the word just a bunch of letters?
Is the label ‘upset’ itself upset?
Can you find anything in the word itself that is upset?

No, the the label, "upset" is just a label. It is a bunch of letters, but that assessment is also a label. The label 'upset' is not upset itself.

2) Then look at the sensation and ignore everything else but the sensation itself.
Inquire into the sensation and ask if the sensation itself knows anything about ‘upset’.

Okay. hmmm... Gently asking now...
...
No... It knows nothing about "upset"

Also, maybe there's a misunderstanding here? Do you think I mean, "upset" as in angry? Hmmm

Okay okay... Here's an example of what I mean by, "upset", imagine you are driving your car along a backroad, calm and relaxed, then suddenly a large animal jumps in front of your car and you slam on the brakes narrowly avoiding the animal. You pull over to the side of the road. Your body is "upset." it is responding with elevated heart rate, sweating, shaking, etc., but it eventually calms down until you feel ready to drive again.

A year later you recall the story to a friend and you are asked, "wow, how did you feel when that happened?" and you tell a story and that there was, " elevated heart rate, sweating, etc..." There's a faint shimmer of the sensation from the original event, but it's not the direct experience of the event. What you're experiencing now are thoughts, sensations, color, etc. of what is.

What I'm trying to say is that I feel no residue of "upset" from those events. What I meant by 'upset' is "my body" leaving homeostasis because of the way the senses were stimulated within its immediate environment. As a result there's increased heart rate, sweating, etc.

Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is upset?

No. Sensation is as it is.

Does the sensation itself know anything about upset?

No. "upset" is a label.

Can you find anything in the sensation itself or behind the sensation that is upset?

Well. You know what? There is a part of me that is frustrated in general. I just did a mini session of Core Transformation(a therapeutic modality) and it let me know that it wanted to be "safe." Then after doing gentle inquiry process, images from childhood playground and other kids faces came up. The word, "adversaries" arose. Which means nothing to me... Just needs more gentle investigation during another time. This is a sacred space, btw. It's a space that requires a lot of self compassion. Though it too can be labeled simply, thoughts.

Also, if cause and effect exists only in thoughts, is there really a “conditioned reaction” or “automated response”? OR these are only thought descriptions? Are these changes in thought content that you are reporting?

Hmmm. For example, responses are conditioned physiological/ psychological reactions that are automated based on environmental triggers. Neuropathways were originally wired to keep the body, system and perceived self safe from physical and mental trauma. Much of which is "written" in childhood.

NOTE: This is NOT my professional field of study and is simply a serious hobby. Feel free to correct me through DMs or provide more info if you feel like it. Thx! I love this kind of stuff! <3

Does there need to be a self to perform these actions?
No. There is no self doing the actions. These are "conditioned reaction(s)," and "automated response(s)."

Also, these are also thought descriptions. Also changes in thought content, simply = thinking(thought)

All of direct experience is the same. THIS has not changed. This knowing before thought. The divine knowing that knows without using knowledge/thought has been here all along.

That sounds a bit like a quote from a teaching…

It’s a quote from me! I had a breakthrough on Dec 15th where I saw there was a “divine” knowing that “knew” directly. It was a complete release from all structures and total freedom. It was and is knowing before thought, before any idea of self. It is absolute direct experience.

What knowing is that? Is there knowing that is different from thoughts? What is there to be known? Also, are thoughts not divine?? What makes the one divine and the other not?

I don't know what knowing that it is. It is a knowing that can't be defined. The knowing includes what arises; so if that is thoughts, then it knows thoughts as thoughts but is not swept into the river of thoughts and self.

THIS is unknowable, indescribable, but experienceable. Can you describe what it is the taste of chocolate to someone who hasn’t tried it before? Even the recognition of “chocolate” or taste is a label – to know “something” is to cut it out from the whole, otherwise there is nothing to know. Do you agree??

Yes. To know "something" is to separate from the whole. To know "something" is to dismiss THIS.

Any form of knowing is an abstraction :)

Maybe not a big fat YES, but a cautious, yes

To whom does this caution/doubt belong? Is there a cautious entity, or just thoughts about caution?

I wouldn't say that the caution "belongs" to an entity. But I know there is a part of me that wants to be "good" and do and say "all the right things" to "get approval." But that's cheating. I want to play by the rules and deeply, deeply investigate this until I've actually arrived.
My practice has been very vigorous up until this point and I don't want to just say all the right things. This is the most important matter.

I also take you very seriously, Rali. My deepest respect for what you are and what you're doing here on LU. In return I give you my bare and open honesty.

To reduce the resistance/doubt you need to painstakingly examine all thoughts one by one as they appear in order for thoughts to self-organise and form a new core of beliefs. And I underline self-organise as this is not in your control, it just happens. I’ve basically introduced a virus thought (LOOK!) that causes all thoughts to be reorganised around the experience :)

Wow... I love this :)
Although there is no "you" who introduced this virus, so the virus was already there, dormant, waiting for activation! Oh Joy!


Love,
Drew

[poppyseed]

Hi Drew

I wrote this last night when I was super tired, but when I went to submit it, the page would not load... :|

Yes! The site has been playing up, testing our patience :)

Also, maybe there's a misunderstanding here? Do you think I mean, "upset" as in angry? Hmmm

Well, you can try this exercise with any emotion – it could come very handy :)

Your body is "upset." it is responding with elevated heart rate, sweating, shaking, etc., but it eventually calms down until you feel ready to drive again.
A year later you recall the story to a friend and you are asked, "wow, how did you feel when that happened?" and you tell a story and that there was, " elevated heart rate, sweating, etc..." There's a faint shimmer of the sensation from the original event, but it's not the direct experience of the event. What you're experiencing now are thoughts, sensations, color, etc. of what is.

What I'm trying to say is that I feel no residue of "upset" from those events. What I meant by 'upset' is "my body" leaving homeostasis because of the way the senses were stimulated within its immediate environment. As a result there's increased heart rate, sweating, etc.

No. Sensation is as it is.

Good! As long as you see that there is no direct connection between all of these sensations (e.g. increased heart rate, etc) and the label "upset". You could have also used “excited” or “overwhelmed” – which changes the story a bit. Words have different connotations – positive or negative – with negative having the tendency to bring even more story. Sensations on their own are pretty neutral which was the aim of the exercise. I hope you saw that? You can try that exercise with frustration, or resistance, or fear. It can bring a lot of insights ;)

Hmmm. For example, responses are conditioned physiological/ psychological reactions that are automated based on environmental triggers. Neuropathways were originally wired to keep the body, system and perceived self safe from physical and mental trauma. Much of which is "written" in childhood.

NOTE: This is NOT my professional field of study and is simply a serious hobby. Feel free to correct me through DMs or provide more info if you feel like it. Thx! I love this kind of stuff! <3

Does there need to be a self to perform these actions?
No. There is no self doing the actions. These are "conditioned reaction(s)," and "automated response(s)."

Also, these are also thought descriptions. Also changes in thought content, simply = thinking(thought)

Exactly! Certainly, the no self is the first step to seeing "things" as they are. But also, is there anything happening without the labels? Can change happen if you haven’t define what you are observing? To define is to label, right? So yes “changes in thought content, simply = thinking(thought)”. Well said!
Otherwise, I also love scientific "stories" :).

I wouldn't say that the caution "belongs" to an entity. But I know there is a part of me that wants to be "good" and do and say "all the right things" to "get approval." But that's cheating. I want to play by the rules and deeply, deeply investigate this until I've actually arrived.
My practice has been very vigorous up until this point and I don't want to just say all the right things. This is the most important matter.

Ok. So what are the cautious thoughts about? Where is the self still suspected? Obviously just to say thoughts are empty, so cautious or not it doesn’t really matter, that will be by-passing. But you have to be a bit more specific, so I can help you investigate further. What is the doubt about? If I say there’s no doer, thinker, experiencer, decision maker, or a witness, what comes up?
Love
Rali

[poppyseed]

I missed something...

I don't know what knowing that it is. It is a knowing that can't be defined. The knowing includes what arises; so if that is thoughts, then it knows thoughts as thoughts but is not swept into the river of thoughts and self.

As I saw that you love scientific stories, here is something that you might enjoy:
https://psyche.co/ideas/how-feelings-ab ... -our-world
Love
Rali

[mirrormoon]

Dear Rali,

I am investigating this daily. Turning over every stone.

What is the doubt about? If I say there’s no doer, thinker, experiencer, decision maker, or a witness, what comes up?

Sitting with this. Inquiry into what is.

This will take some time

Love,
Drew

[poppyseed]

Hi Drew

Sitting with this. Inquiry into what is.

This will take some time

Hehe. Common, man! You know better by now
Nothing in DE takes time :). It’s either here or not. Does the self hides and shows up only on special occasions? Do you need to go and pull the beard of every Santa you see in the mall to make sure he’s not the real one?
Seeing probably won't be 24/7. There's likely to be a "honeymoon period," and then what we call, "got it, lost it," as untrue beliefs come up to be questioned. This can go on for months & years.
The initial shift is irreversible though, just as we can never go back to believing in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
When you see the illusion – it was just something that looks like something else – you see it in all aspects of life. Have you seen a Kanitza Triangle:


Is there anything else but the senses and thinking?
What “needs time” is thought content. Thoughts making sense of these “new findings” . That’s what thoughts do – finding meaning where there is none. Thoughts are always out of step with reality, and they obstruct the clear seeing of how things actually are. Reality is very simple. Once you can see this, you will stop endlessly frustrating yourself by trying to figure out how things are.

But LOOK NOW, is there an entity trying to understand reality?
Just LOOK, what is it that is separate from what is, and trying to figure out how things are?
Is there a self or me here, who is separate and isolated from what is, from reality, and thus is in need to understand reality? Self that needs to see there is no self?
What is it that could be awake?
What is it that awakening could happen TO?
Is there someone separate form life, waiting to wake up to reality?
Is there someone who needs to let go of conceptualization?
Or letting go happens on its own effortlessly, when the futility of trying to grasp what is with thoughts is recognized?

Expectations are one of the most frequent blocks to seeing what ‘reality’ actually is. We can blame Guru stories and the attraction to drama in our society for focusing on stories of the initial epiphany that people have as they wake up. (because they usually have a ‘wow’ factor). This puts into our head, the idea of “bells and whistles”. We expect high drama to confirm that a significant shift has occurred. So what do you expect to come out of this that hasn’t yet?
Love
Rali

[mirrormoon]

Hi Rali,
:)

Sitting with this. Inquiry into what is.

This will take some time

Hehe. Common, man! You know better by now
Nothing in DE takes time :). It’s either here or not.

Hahaha... :)

Does the self hide and show up only on special occasions? Do you need to go and pull the beard of every Santa you see in the mall to make sure he’s not the real one?

Ohh...
I 'THOUGHT' it was the case that the self was showing up on special occasions, but oh my! That was just thinking about a thought of a self. That thinking still occurs, but there's not a me who's thinking it, it's just another thought!!!

Seeing probably won't be 24/7. There's likely to be a "honeymoon period," and then what we call, "got it, lost it," as untrue beliefs come up to be questioned. This can go on for months & years.

Oh, okay. I assumed that it would be the case that I'd suddenly just be. That there would be some sort of major 'click' into place, but it has been extremely gradual and subtle.

Have you seen a Kanitza Triangle?:
Image

Nope!

Is there anything else but the senses and thinking?

No there is not!

But LOOK NOW, is there an entity trying to understand reality?

No there is not!

Just LOOK, what is it that is separate from what is, and trying to figure out how things are?

Well, there isn't anything trying to figure anything out. Although there is what is, and patient "waiting" for something to come so that it can be seen. Though there is no see'er and no seen

Is there a self or me here, who is separate and isolated from what is, from reality, and thus is in need to understand reality? Self that needs to see there is no self?

No there is not. If there was, that would be a thought/chasing after the non existence of something...

Okay. I get it.

What is it that could be awake?

For something to be awake, there would need to be a subject that is awake, but there is no subject, no one experiencing THIS. There is only THIS.

What is it that awakening could happen TO?

I've been caught in this trap of thought before. "I am the one who is going to wake up."

Is there someone separate from life, waiting to wake up to reality?

Nooo...

Is there someone who needs to let go of conceptualization?

I thought maybe this was so. But I was just caught in more thinking, afraid to let go. So I thought that if I did all of these different things that I would be unified with everything. "The body and mind would drop away of themselves" and that "I" would be awake. But there is no me to wake up.

Or letting go happens on its own effortlessly, when the futility of trying to grasp what is with thoughts is recognized?

Jeez. Yeah. I SEE. With no doubt now, there is no self.

So what do you expect to come out of this that hasn’t yet?

I don't know what I expected, but maybe I thought I'd arrive to some beauty of life. I expected that everything would be magically resolved in life and there would be radiant joy. That something magical would happen, but life is as it is and there is no self doing it.
Life is flow without somebody doing it, thinking it, feeling it, seeing it, hearing it, tasting it or smelling it.

Love,
Drew

[poppyseed]

Hi Drew

Hopefully things are back to normal with the site, at least that's how it looks at the moment :)

Ohh...
I 'THOUGHT' it was the case that the self was showing up on special occasions, but oh my! That was just thinking about a thought of a self. That thinking still occurs, but there's not a me who's thinking it, it's just another thought!!!

Yay!! Yes, thoughts about self come on special occasions – thoughts about language where you have a subject, object and action :) The analogy of a movie comes to mind. The sequencing of thoughts creates the illusion of a separate I/ego/mind, like the frames of a movie, where rapid series of still images create the illusion of movement. When frame rate slows down all the illusion of movement is lost.

Oh, okay. I assumed that it would be the case that I'd suddenly just be. That there would be some sort of major 'click' into place, but it has been extremely gradual and subtle.

I warned you at the beginning - it is just a subtle shift in perception. Conditioned thought was not born “yesterday” so it will not drop away on the spot – all stories need to be seen vs DE, seen as empty. When there is a new core of beliefs established, things speed up as confirmation bias works the other way ;). However, this process could “take time” – days, months, years, lifetime – you never know. All thoughts are eventually seen as empty - as a description, an interpretation, an entertainment, or as serious when a situation asks for seriousness. It becomes easier to step back and notice that there is something else going on besides the story; it becomes possible to notice peace (being) underneath all thoughts. THIS, which is happening right now, is not bound to a story; it just IS. If a story arises, it is seen as part of what is, within it. Not the driver, not the separate self—just a thought-story about what is happening. Thinking is innocent, and it’s a great tool in a practical sense and in terms of artistic expression and entertainment. It is part of experience, part of the whole—there’s no need to try to get rid of it. And you can’t get rid of it if you try.

Well, there isn't anything trying to figure anything out. Although there is what is, and patient "waiting" for something to come so that it can be seen. Though there is no see'er and no seen

For “something to come/arise so it can be seen”, you need time and space which we’ve seen is just thinking (aka memories) and seeing (blackness, colours, transparency, void), and even that is inseparable without the labels. There is no colour on a canvas – there is just the canvas. No space for things to arise, and no things to arise. No time for them to appear and disappear, no change (that sounds like the "Heart sutra " :)) ). Even “silence” is hearing. All exists/has characteristics through labels. Otherwise it just IS, now, always. And here is the place where thought trying to describe reality should see the futility and just give up :))

I don't know what I expected, but maybe I thought I'd arrive to some beauty of life. I expected that everything would be magically resolved in life and there would be radiant joy. That something magical would happen, but life is as it is and there is no self doing it.
Life is flow without somebody doing it, thinking it, feeling it, seeing it, hearing it, tasting it or smelling it.

Haven’t you yet? Can you see the beauty, the perfection? Only thought can come up with faults or flaws, things to be desired or avoided. Everything is exactly right the way it IS, because it can't be any other way. Surrendering/peace/being/beauty is what is left when resistance to what IS ends.

Jeez. Yeah. I SEE. With no doubt now, there is no self.

We have some traditional final questions. Would you like to answer those?

Love
Rali