Blahdi

[Annika]

Hi dear Becca

Thank you for passing on this message.

It has been around a week since the original statement has been made, and I feel no particular connection to the person who made it, so I'm at a loss at justifying what has been written. This is not meant as disrespect, if your colleague wants I can try and answer the question again, again without guarantee that I'll be able to remember my reasons.

I hope you're feeling well!
Annika

[graceabounds]

Hi Annika,

Yes. Here is a revised inquiry from Guide R:

Forget how it felt then. Forget whether it was real then or not. Forget what you “should” say. Just sit in what is already, obviously, here – it doesn’t change, it’s always the same (even after a week).

Right now—is there any center? Any one? Any mind handler? Any controller? Any owner of this moment?
Is there, in this moment, any evidence for a “you” who has—or has not—woken up/ gone to a new shore?

Don’t answer from thought (which changes). Look. Report only what’s here before thinking.

This inquiry is about the connection with any sense of a "new person" if the old one is gone. If you are not responsible for these thoughts, how are you responsible for this new mind? Who's that I that feels the connection? I- the witness?


Much love,
Becca
(And Guide R)

[Annika]

Hi Becca and R.
There's no center. No one. No handler. No controller. No owner. No evidence. And noone to feel a connection or disconnection.

[graceabounds]

Lovely.

There are no further questions, so it appears we here at the forum have recognized that you have ‘crossed’ a gateless gate that doesn’t exist. :)

Soon you’ll receive an email notifying you of a PM from the forum, inviting you to join LU's Facebook groups. It also has other information that might be of interest. Your username will change from green to blue and this thread will be moved to the ‘Archive’ section of the forum, but you will be able to access it to reach me.

I’ll send you an email with more info on guiding, should you still be interested in that.

Much love, and gratitude,
Becca

[Annika]

Thanks Becca.

As to the guiding, I'm currently a little underwhelmed by the experience, there's some more Selfness or rather Self-mess to clean up, and I'm also morose about what lies ahead. I'll be considering the gig again when I'm more optimistic about that recognition being a good thing - but please do send me the email!

All the best to you

Annika

[graceabounds]

Yes, that is what I meant a few days ago when I was referring to stability. There is no timeline.

Let me know if I can support in any way with the current layers of mess.

[Annika]

You mean your question here

Has seeking resolved?
Would you say there is clear and stable seeing from which to guide?

Yes I think I was getting mixed up what has been accomplished and what has not. Right now it feels like doing more beyond-first-step dissolution, but this time with a void at the center, which honestly doesn't help as much as I thought it would.

It's crazy there's no clear terminology for all this. There's first person accounts and dialogues with interested parties, but the information seems to be very much hidden and there's as much muddled info that doesn't apply as there's valuable bits, so right now I don't want to bother reading enlightened people things. We're just not very organised as a group, are we.

Looking forward to what I'll find on Facebook though.

[graceabounds]

Yes.

Even though there is no center, it is still a personal experience. There is no map that applies to each individual experience though there are landmarks and some common terrain. And as seeking falls there is not so much urgency or drive to consume a lot of material.

Part of the challenge with language and terminology is it is always appropriated, becoming “I know this” or “this is true” as if there is anything that can be known, defined or true. There is also an embodied component of the process that is untranslatable..

Facebook is… not so helpful either. After going through LU I pulled back from it and most inputs (books, videos, events, etc) got very quiet for some months and just sat with what whatever was coming up:
Where is the resistance?
What is actually here now and not a thought/fiction?
Is that thought/belief true?
What is this tension in the body protecting?

Of course on a conventional level everything continues: dinner is made, taxes are paid, the child is picked up from school. But with the void at the center…. no doer of the doing… and over time that becomes the new normal, and is trusted. At the beginning though it can be quite disorienting.

[Annika]

Thank you Becca.

[graceabounds]

❤️

Oh, and PS— I sometimes share this after seeing, about what is next.

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w?si=z9_Dd-pXqsSXmGSn