Thread for CelesteGabriele

[nonaparry]

Hello Celeste,

Here's how we will proceed: I'll ask questions; you investigate deeply, looking for your own truth from personal experience, not from what you've read or heard from others.
You will take your time, answering when you have found your truest response, no matter what it may be or what you think about it. It's an inquiry. I probe, you look deeply and respond.

While we chat, it's best if you put aside any spiritual reading or listening, and spend your time on looking. That’s why we are here together; be sure to get what you came for.
Will you commit to 100% honesty and posting here at least once a day, even if only to say you can't reply that day?

If your answer is yes, here is my first question:
What are your expectations regarding what will happen once you have seen through the illusion of a separate self? What will it look like, how will it change your life?

love
Nona

[CelesteGabriele]

I will be free from fear, live from the realization of Oneness and Freedom
from separation.

[CelesteGabriele]

I will be at ease with the way life is unfolding for me, no more arguing , shoulding on what I do.

[nonaparry]

Dearest Celeste,

I will be free from fear, live from the realization of Oneness and Freedom from separation.
I will be at ease with the way life is unfolding for me, no more arguing , shoulding on what I do.

Wow. Sounds wonderful!! If this were not going to be the outcome of inquiry into the separate self, would you want to continue?

I ask because I notice that fear arises; living from the realisation of Oneness requires commitment, even on the 'other side' of seeing through the illusion of self. Lack of ease shows up, arguing happens, shoulds continue to create stress where they are believed.

On the other hand, you are not separate already, so Freedom from separation is already achieved.

It is my thought that Katie developed The Work to inquire into the conditioned thinking and behaviour that she noticed continued AFTER she had awakened. That is, conditioning is so powerful, it creates habitual responses that don't all drop when it is seen that self is an illusion.

I look at it this way: conditioning is much like papier-maché strips wrapped over a mould of some kind: a balloon, for example. We wrap the strips over a balloon, let them dry, and then break the balloon. The shell of paper remains in the form of the balloon, even though the balloon no longer holds it in place.

Like papier-maché, conditioning holds the shape of the 'me' on which it was formed. It can take some time to deconstruct this shell, and you have the perfect tool for this: The Work.

So if your expectations may not be met, do you wish to continue to see that 'self' is an illusion?

[CelesteGabriele]

yes

[CelesteGabriele]

I want you to know that today is my day in bed, soooo not much into communicating and I am looking forward to hearing more from you tomorrow. Thank you for being with me this way.

[nonaparry]

I want you to know that today is my day in bed, soooo not much into communicating and I am looking forward to hearing more from you tomorrow.

Good timing for this then.

Take this thought in, consider it seriously as true, and write all that comes up—feelings, thoughts, sensations. 

There is no separate self at all in reality; no manager, no observer, no witness. There is no self as in zero. There is no such entity 'me' to which life happens. There is no 'I' that owns a story. There is only life moving freely, without a general manager—'you'. 

love
Nona

[CelesteGabriele]

wow, what comes up is the thought:" this brings fear" the sensation I experience in the body is spinning in the throat, heart beating fast, tears coming. I don't know if I can live from here. There is the memory from having read all these books: that is the truth and if you do not live from "it" you have to suffer.
Time to do TW on: "it is scary to let Life live me", I am afraid to let go of controlling "my Life"

[nonaparry]

wow, what comes up is the thought:" this brings fear" the sensation I experience in the body is spinning in the throat, heart beating fast, tears coming.

Does this bring fear? Or does the body react with sensation(s) that mind then labels "fear"? Breathe, slow it down, and check.

I don't know if I can live from here. There is the memory from having read all these books: that is the truth and if you do not live from "it" you have to suffer.

You've been living up to now. Check in: are you okay? In this moment now?
What happens if these sensations are simply allowed to be present, to be okay? What is not okay about these sensations?

Time to do TW on: "it is scary to let Life live me", I am afraid to let go of controlling "my Life"

Sweetheart, you have no Control over "your Life" to let go of. Not any. And checking in with TW is very useful.

By the way, neither do you 'own' this Life.

Simple pointer to truth:
1) Is a cup of tea in front of you A CUP, or a MY CUP?
Which is more true?
2) And how does a MY CUP become attached to a self?
How does possession happen, and what possesses?

I invite you to look carefully, with the eyes in the head rather than with the thoughts in the mind, at everything/anything you refer to as "yours" to see if that's really true.

love
Nona

[CelesteGabriele]

1) It is really a cup
the mind adds "my" cup" to it and I believe it. I feel the heaviness when I say "mine"
2) And how does a MY CUP become attached to a self?
How does possession happen, and what possesses?
A: My and self is the same. Here it starts where "I" am believing that there is a separate self and that "I" am
separate from Life itself.In Reality there is no one who possesses and possession is not happening. It is just a thought.

[nonaparry]

the mind adds "my" cup" to it and I believe it.

Yes.
As you go about your day, Notice how things simply exist, and mind adds "my" to some of them. Write what you experience.

My and self is the same. Here it starts where "I" am believing that there is a separate self and that "I" am
separate from Life itself.

As you go about your day, Notice how life simply happens, and mind adds "I did it". Write what you experience.

Do you have to take credit for everything? ~ Katie

[CelesteGabriele]

I just came back from dinner I enjoyed my self very much. At home I listened to :" my body does not feel so good,
I ate too much" I should have stopped earlier, should have taken half of the food home, I should not have had wine"
with the belief of my body, I..... I suffer.
"My "friend payed the bill, here I separate from the experience and cannot just be grateful
It's "my" decision to split the bill which I did not offer, here I feel I should have done it which brings suffering.
I did a lot of shopping today, afterwards I believed" I wasted my time" I clearly see that when I add "I did it" it becomes a problem. When I did not identify with the I my day was peaceful.

[nonaparry]

I clearly see that when I add "I did it" it becomes a problem. When I did not identify with the I my day was peaceful.

Excellent.

Where exactly is that "I" which does so much and possesses objects? Can you locate it? Close your eyes, and locate the position of "I", the one to which "my" stuff belongs.
When you have got it clearly, lift a hand and point with a finger to the "I". Then open your eyes. Describe what you see when you open your eyes.

[CelesteGabriele]

I cannot locate the "I"

[nonaparry]

I cannot locate the "I"

Then how do you know there is one?

When you say "I", to what are you referring?