Seeking Guidance to End the Seeking

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Seeking Guidance to End the Seeking

Postby Mettafort » Wed Jul 01, 2020 10:55 am

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
“I” am a belief structure, a habit of thought that is so strong and hypnotic that I have forgotten who I truly I am. This “I” cannot be found under inquiry, yet I endure. I get this. I need help in not knowing who I am so that I can know who I truly am.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for guidance, for help, so that I can finally die in this life. I am fixated on waking up, from morning until night. But I am clumsy, and I weak, and I struggle to sit in long meditations of self-inquiry. I have gone into the world seeking through knowledge, through plant medicine and through esoteric practices and courses. I have had glimpses. I have been touched with Grace and brought to tears on Ayahuasca, and I have experienced full ego-death too which to be honest, has left me lost at sea and my life upside down...and I wouldnt have it any other way.

Very recently I experienced a moment, more than a glimpse, a series of moments in fact where I experienced the world as present awareness. Thought had fallen aware, and the world was Just Is. There was no expectations or wants, there was just this exquisite present moment. Sadly, when I realized what. I was experiencing I became overjoyed and the abiding disappeared. Humbly and respectfully, this has galvanized my desire to do whatever it takes to find my way Home.

I am looking at LU for help from a fellow journeyman/women, who has been where I am, and who can help me to get across this river so that I can reach the other shore.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
After reading the two books, I am expecting to start a dynamic, organic interaction and communication with someone who can help me to get farther than my current position. I am hoping (ugh) that through such a conversation, I would be afforded a more personal process that will help me get beyond blocks of the mind or thought, to help me when I am stuck and lost in this vessel of a body. I expect to be challenged, to be questioned, to be confused and frustrated and mentally and emotionally exhausted from this process. What I am ultimately looking for from this process, this guided conversation, is the support and pointers that I need to facilitate my Awakening.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
A lot - perhaps too much. Been seeking since 2005. Buddhist practitioner, avid follower of Adyashanti, and a proud owner of a large book collection on non duality. I wasted a lot of time not realizing that The Path is about letting go of the beliefs about “Me”. I thought it was about mindfulness, metta-meditation, loving compassion, tonglen, stuff like that. And while those practices I believe do support the path, over the past 5 years or so I have been profoundly aware of what the spiritual journey is - nothing at all, just as I understand now that “I” am nothing at all, yet I am God. I get this intellectually, and apart from the DMT induced ego-death, and from the recent experience of being Present Awareness, the rest of my experience is locked in the cell walls of my mind. I have many books that are conversations with seekers, from Nisargadatta, Papaji amongst many others. And while they have all helped, I remain stuck.

I touched grace once a long time ago, praticising metta-bhavna as part of a buddhist sangha I was in at the time in London. For two weeks, I practiced deep meditation on the loving-kindness, and as I went about my day, using unwavering mindfulness, I practiced metta-bhavna in every situation that I could. If someone was rude, snapped at me, or did something to someone else, I would genuinely elicit the most deepest feeling of love and compassion for that person that I could muster. It was a real struggle, requiring iron will. The sad thing is, after the two weeks, I had found it such a challenge that I didnt keep it up. But I touched something - in that last week, half way through, something beyond words occurred. I was less preoccupied with my problems or desires, and more focused on connecting with others. I was the happiest I have ever been. It was a happiness that I have never been able to explain to anybody. It was a lightness of being, for I was less centre stage. Years on, after going deeper with non duality and enlightenment, I realize this was likely my return home that I have been forever seeking....and I didnt realize it.

I understand that there is no real death, and that my life in this Space Suit as Ram Dass used to say, is all about participating in this glorious expression of the Source, to the very best that I can. To help others, other Souls that have forgotten who they truly are. To help others, to help myself, I have to find my way home....

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?

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Re: Seeking Guidance to End the Seeking

Postby Skygazer74 » Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:29 pm

Hi Mettafort,

Thanks for your answers, I share a similar spiritual background so thought I might offer help if you are still seeking a guide?

A few bits of housekeeping first:

At LU we are described as guides - not teachers - as our role is to directly point to what IS, through the use of exercises and questions. Your role is to LOOK carefully to what is being pointed at. It is this simple LOOKING (not thinking) that brings the realisation that there is no separate self and never has been. This is an experiential based guiding and is not a discussion or a debate.

This is YOUR inquiry. I will not be giving you new ideas and beliefs; only assisting you in examining and questioning the ones that you already have.

Before we begin, here are links to information I would like you to read please.

Terms & Conditions:

“Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU.

A few ground rules:
1. Post at least once a day, if you cannot post, or need more time, please let me know.
2. Be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.
3. This exploration is based on Actual (or Direct) Experience (AE or DE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and thoughts - only. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.
4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.
5. Understand that I will be guiding you, rather than teaching you, and the more you put into this process the more you will get out of it.

A few technical support:

- You can reply to this thread by pushing the 'Post Reply" button at the left bottom of this page.
- You can learn to use the quote function, instructions are located in the link below this line:[/
- If you click on the spanner icon below you can subscribe to this thread and receive an email when I respond.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run.

If you are happy to agree to the above and have me your guide, we can start the process.

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer ALL questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer questions INDIVIDUALLY, remembering to use the Quote function to highlight the question being answered.

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration (for example, what life will look and feel like and what you want/hope will change or not change). Could you please answer the following questions:

How will Life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Best wishes,


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