I sat with the resistance this afternoon and asked your questions.
The answer: if you proceed along this path, or down the rabbit hole, you'll become too vulnerable and people won't take you seriously anymore. You will not be able to relate to other people. Your relationships will be threatened.What do you want to protect me from?
The answer: You'll become like a child. It might feel nice, but you'll be gullible. And you won't get any work done. You won't be interested in earning money, which might limit your children's opportunities. You'll be self-obsessed and lazy and lose touch with people that are important to you. Your children, your partner. They'll still be busy with daily life and you'll be high as a kite. You won't be able or motivated to help your children in the outside world, because you won't care about the outside world. Your relationship will suffer. You might lose your sex drive, or feel that your partner is too caught up in his thinking mind. You might not like him anymore, then what??What is the ‘negative’ story, what would happen if the illusion of the self is seen through?
The thinking mind/resistance is trying to protect me from turning into somebody that no one can relate to, especially my teenage kids. Who knows what I'll be like once I see through the illusion of the self? Even my sister who is a spiritual seeker thinks I'm taking it a bit far, trying to see through the 'self'.Observe what visual thoughts and stories come up ‘justifying’ its right to resists.
Oh dear, I don't want my partner or kids to think I'm weird. People have always found me strange, it's a recurring theme in my life. But while I'm writing this down, I'm already starting to wonder if it's really that bad if my kids find me a bit strange. I'm pretty sure I'm completely incapable of being mean to them. The main point the resistance is trying to make is 'don't become a space cadet nobody can relate to'. Gee thanks!
There's nothing behind the resistance, but space. It stands between me and a whole lot of space. Space for what, I don't know. I think it's nice, but where I am now, I feel a bit nervous about passing the resistance. It might shout 'I told you so' if things go wrong.If you ignore the stories (thoughts) and visual thoughts what is BEHIND the resistance?
I can't believe I'm having these thoughts, but I am. I've heard people say 'you have to be willing to lose everything if you want to be liberated', which has made me believe that I'll probably lose important relationships. And I don't want to. It's that simple. Why do people say that Vivien? Well, you don't have to answer that. I'm sure you've heard statements like that as well. I have lost a lot of relationships along this journey, but they weren't healthy. But what can I do about this fear of losing relationships that I don't want to lose? It must be based on an illusion, but which one?
Something to do with the 'self' I suppose :)