‘No doer of the deed is found...’

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Seamist
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby Seamist » Tue Mar 12, 2019 3:58 pm

Hi Sara,
What's your sense of where you are at now? Do you feel ready to do the final questions?
Prabhakari

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River1
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby River1 » Wed Mar 13, 2019 6:44 pm

Hi Prabhakari,

I don’t know. And that suggests to me that I’m probably not ready for the questions, or perhaps that some expectations need to be cleared up. I feel like all I can do is share a bit more of my experience, and say a bit more about expectations, and ask what you think.

Over the last few days I’ve felt generally confused! I can’t quite ‘get a handle’ on what’s going on.
Yesterday I noticed strong feelings that seemed to arise from nothing in particular, and thoughts trying to figure it out, to pin it to this or that, but nothing held, there’s no story to hang it to that lasts - it’s kind of like the battery is running low and there isn’t much energy in the stories, and so I felt a stange sort of way where I wasn’t really able to ‘understand’ my experience.

I notice that I’m saying ‘I don’t know’ a lot, and I’m finding it difficult to get much clarity - my experience feels a bit ‘all over the place’, a bit messy or something. I feel sort of perplexed. I find it hard to concentrate, to meditate - I’m just sitting in front of my shrine with open arms.

And within this there are also moments of intense joy and ease and relief and clarity. Intense love and rushes of priti through my body.

In writing this, I get the sense that things are definitely shaken up, but there is still a bit of holding on to the thread of habit, a desire to ‘understand’ what’s happening, a bit of resistance.

I wonder what you make of this???

Sara x

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River1
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby River1 » Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:11 pm

Bit of a shift since I emailed you earlier. I think it was helpful to write things down.
When I looked for who, what, was confused I realised I couldn’t find anything. Something relaxed, stopped trying to ‘make sense’ of experience. There was just experience. There is just experience. I feel a real sense of ease and clarity. There is no ‘me’ trying to make sense of it. It just is!

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Seamist
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby Seamist » Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:40 pm

So interesting! And a delight to read
Let's speak again tomorrow xxx

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Seamist
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby Seamist » Thu Mar 14, 2019 1:56 pm

Hi Sara
How are things with you today?
xx
Prabhakari

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River1
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby River1 » Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:13 pm

Hi Prabhakari,
Things today are much as I described in my last message - feeling a sense of ease, openness, fluidity, and a lot of energy too. I'm quite simply enjoying.
Sara x

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Seamist
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby Seamist » Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:57 pm

Excellent! No need to do anything more at the moment xx

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Seamist
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby Seamist » Sun Mar 17, 2019 2:40 pm

I suggest that you give me an update sometime in the next week - whenever seems the right time for you xxx

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River1
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby River1 » Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:18 pm

Hi Prabhakari,

Well.....

It has been an interesting week, sort of normal and yet different!

I’ve been quite attuned to the moments when ‘selfing’ seems most visceral - very much connected to craving and aversion. And also when there is a decision to be made. I notice the tension in my body, the thought stories. There is still a habit, but not a belief.

I think I’d like to look at the final questions - what do you think?

Sara x

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Seamist
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Re: ‘No doer of the deed is found...’

Postby Seamist » Mon Mar 18, 2019 10:42 pm

There is still a habit, but not a belief
- that's to be expected And that's the key difference: you no longer believe it
I think I’d like to look at the final questions - what do you think?
I agree and was about to suggest it!
I'll post them in the morning if that's ok.
Well done!


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