Pushing Through

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:18 pm

Hey Steven,

Try this exercise. Take your time to explore it and post back when you feel ready.

When you read these words on a screen, pay full attention to the experience, and see if you can find a self that is doing the reading or is it the case that the words are simply appearing (within awareness)?

Is there a self or I that can be found in your present experience of sitting here reading

Likewise, when you compose your responses, can you find a self that is choosing the words or do the words simply appear?

When you type your reply is there a self that is moving the fingers or are they simply moving?

Love

Amrita

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Wed Aug 08, 2018 8:27 am

Hey Steven, hope you are well. Just to let you know I am going away for a long weekend (back monday/tuesday) and will be off line. If you are still interested I would advise repeating the exercises on labelling sense experience as sensastion, colour, sound etc as well as counting thoughts in order to ground yourself in the present immediate experience.

Best wishes to you

amrita

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sek
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby sek » Sun Aug 12, 2018 8:06 pm

Thank you, I am as you say going over the exercises...its really helpful, will report back in due course.

Thanks again.

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Wed Aug 15, 2018 11:34 pm

Hi Steven,

I hope you are well, I am going away for another long weekend and will be back on Monday so hopefully we can pick things up there.

I'm glad you are enjoying the exercise of labelling sense experience as it arises (i.e. sensations, images, sounds, thoughts) and
want to encourage you to keep going with this as learning to look into the nature of what is directly experienced is the essence of this inquiry.

Here are a few questions to explore...

In direct experience, what else is there apart from sensations, images, sounds, thoughts? In direct experience is there any sense of a future? Of a past? What else is there apart from direct experience of this NOW?

Love

Amrita

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Tue Aug 21, 2018 1:21 pm

Hi Steven,

I hope this finds you well. I'm back from my excursions now and ready to pick this up if you are. Hope you are very well.

Amrita

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sek
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby sek » Tue Aug 21, 2018 4:00 pm

Hi,

Hope you had a nice time...

its not easy to put into words always what is being felt or understood throught direct experience...

I understand the theory that ultimatley we only experience what we experience and we are only ever experieing in the now.....
I think my focus is sometimes distracted by bodily sensations, which make me feel like the body and trigger thought patterns of feelings associated with the sensation...

Love Steven

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Wed Aug 22, 2018 11:14 am

Hi Steven,

Let's explore the notion of the body as you have brought it up..
I understand the theory that ultimatley we only experience what we experience and we are only ever experieing in the now.....
I think my focus is sometimes distracted by bodily sensations, which make me feel like the body and trigger thought patterns of feelings associated with the sensation...
If you close your eyes what is your sense of a body? In direct experience can a body be found? Isn't there simply sensations, images, thoughts? Is the body a type of thought (concept) which is superimposed onto experience or is there a body which can be experienced directly without the filter of thought?

When you become identified with "thought patterns of feelings associated with the sensation" what happens to your awareness? Is it possible to stay open to field of spacious awarenss and be aware of habitual thought patterns at the same time

Love to you

Amrita

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Fri Aug 31, 2018 12:58 pm

Hi Steven,

I haven' t heard from you for a while so I am wondering how are you doing? Are you still interested in this inquiry? If so, post back and we can continue. If not, I wish you all the best in all your endeavours :)

Lots of love to you

Amrita

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sek
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby sek » Sat Sep 01, 2018 1:58 pm

Hi Amrita,

Yes I would really like to continue, and I am sorry for not replying sooner. My family and I booked a last minute holiday and didn't have time to post here, apologies. My kids will be back at school soon so will also have more time for myself and this inquiry.

Talking about the body...i can understand intellectually that I am not the body..the body is me a but I am not it, bodilty sensations appear in my awareness, but does one ever feel free of the body and not limited by it?

Moving forward, I wonder if we can talk about expectations...what is the continuing and ongoing journey of freedom from the self?

I understand in me that there are patterns of behavior that are me...my ego/intellect etc, I also have long held subconsciousness likes and dislikes that will continue to color my experience...or is these things that can be overcome?

Love

Steven

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Sat Sep 01, 2018 10:53 pm

Hi,

No worries. I understand the pressures of children and summer holidays only too well :).

And yes, asking you about expectations is an excellent idea and I apologise for not bringing it up sooner.

What do you imagine life would be like with no self or point of reference to identify with?

Is such a state possible?

What would be different between your present state and realising / deeply seeing there is no self? What would you gain from this? What might you lose?

Best

Amrita

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sek
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby sek » Thu Sep 06, 2018 1:33 pm

What do you imagine life would be like with no self or point of reference to identify with?
I think I would prefer it...but sometimes feels inside my mind/body that I am not always in control of the way I think or feel (this could be something I have eaten, stress, tiredness etc) so I have this doubt that sometimes arises and feels real - and then I meditate go for a walk - and feel freer - the want is to make it permanent or feel that its can remain
Is such a state possible?
See above - I am not sure, would be great if it were - but think that life is too complex to ever control what is going to happen and we have seen that thoughts /feeling can sometimes come from somewhere and not be accounted for....guess its not paying attention to them too much that counts? But then its the discrimination between a good/valid thought and those that are not?

Say you have a thought about someone - who you feel doesn't like you, how do you know to trust your judgement or not? i.e is it valid or is it a part of you that has an unconsciousness dislike to them or just a bad thought with no real reference?
What would be different between your present state and realising / deeply seeing there is no self? What would you gain from this? What might you lose?
I think it might clear up all the above and make life simpler?

Thank you

Love Steven

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Thu Sep 06, 2018 7:53 pm

Hi Steven,

Thanks for your responses. Before I answer your questions I want to ask whether you are still willing to commit to this inquiry? My sense is that there has to be a strong desire to really look into experience in order to fully see there is no self anywhere. As I hope I have made clear, this is an experiential exercise not an intellectual one.

So, a few questions for you...

Are you really willing to look and spend time each day investigating your experience? How strong would you rate your desire to look out of say 1-10? (1 being the least and 10 the most).

If you are willing to continue with this, and there is really no problem at all if you are not, are you able to make a committment to post every day unless there are objective circumstances that prevent you from doing so?

If you are interested in continuing post back and we can pick it up from there.

Lots of love to you

Amrita

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sek
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Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:16 pm

Re: Pushing Through

Postby sek » Mon Sep 10, 2018 10:58 am

Hi,

Sorry, for some reason - I used to get email notification when you replied and they don't seems to be coming through anymore, hence my delay in replying. I will check the settings.

I value your time and efforts.

I would like to continue and my desire is there and I am 6-7 - but want will commit to 9-10 as we have both put allot into this far.

its just that family/work is sometimes so consuming that I am either to full of other stuff to give myself some time or when I find some quiet I just want to stay with it and not

Yes maybe I think i am coming at this from an intellectual point of view, I will keep that in mind from now on.

If we can make a fresh start and promise to be a better student, and again thank you for persevering and giving me your time and attention

Love Steven

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sek
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby sek » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:03 am

ok, have seen the emails going to another inbox folder so will be checking for reply's and make concerted time each day for 100% commitment, thanks.

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amrita
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Re: Pushing Through

Postby amrita » Mon Sep 10, 2018 9:13 pm

Ok thats fine Steven.

Before we pick it up again can you say a few words about where you are now? As you know this inquiry is about examining our direct, primay experience of the senses and looking or searching for anything resembling a self or I. The truth that is being pointed to is there no self anywhere to be found in experience. This is not an intellectual or conceptual knowing. It is a direct, living, experiential knowing and once seen it can no longer be unseen. Part of this process involves letting go or dropping attachment to notions of selfhood or I-ness. Does that make sense?

Please post back where you are with this and we can continue our conversation.

I hope all is well for you and your family

Amrita


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