???

[Elad]

Sit still, become quiet and calm, then say: "there is no self, no doubt about it"

What reactions come up to saying it?

What is clear, what is not clear, where is help needed?

[Anrol]

There was no physical reaction . It was peaceful. No thought in language but a visual scene in the mind of words and letters moving around in a jumbled way . Still a sense of expectation for a shift in perception.

[Elad]

Nice

Look into this expectation - what exactly are you expecting?

[Elad]

And do this:

Body Exercise

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

[Anrol]

Hello Elad ,

To answer your question about expectation :-

There has always been an unease , an un answered question, a burning for truth . “I” has no idea what that means and appears to throw obstacles in the way of this inquiry. The explanation is for this to end and for peace to reign whatever the state or experience, and for there to be unquestionable clarity of seeing.

Thank you for the body exercise.

My answer to all of the questions was no .

And to the last , the word /label body referred to the body of the universe.

Much love

Anrol

[Anrol]

Sorry typo there , should be expectation not explanation!

[Elad]

Sorry typo there , should be expectation not explanation!

In direct experience, not in fantasy expectation, can you find a truth that is missing?

Try break down the belief that something is missing. Do you find anything else in it then thought and sensation?

Does the thought by itself touch reality? Or it is just a thought?

Does the sensation by itself say that something is missing or it is just a sensation? Describe the sensation in purely physical terms. And look again, does this energetic/physical experience by itself say that something is missing?

[Elad]

Also do this exercise:

Friend/Stranger

Bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend".
Then bring up a thought about a character labelled "stranger".
Compare these thoughts.
Is there a difference in these thoughts?
Is there a true difference or is it just different content?
Now, bring up a thought about a character labelled "friend". After that, look at a thought about the character labelled "me”.
Is there a difference?
Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character"?

[Anrol]

In direct experience, not in fantasy expectation, can you find a truth that is missing?

Try break down the belief that something is missing. Do you find anything else in it then thought and sensation?

Does the thought by itself touch reality? Or it is just a thought?

Does the sensation by itself say that something is missing or it is just a sensation? Describe the sensation in purely physical terms. And look again, does this energetic/physical experience by itself say that
something is missing?

At times there is no feeling of anything missing. It is clearly seen that nothing needs to change . There is acceptance of all that is taking place because it is seen . At other times though it is as if the light has been turned off and there is a dense shroud of cloud obscuring any clear seeing. As if switching to autopilot . Thought predominates and there is solid identification with it . I have struggled to find a word that describes the physical sensation. The nearest I can get is , tight , heavy and hollow. In this state there is a sense of there being something missing.

In the body exercise I didn’t notice any difference in the comparison of thoughts . The me thought was seen as just a thought and since doing it the frequency of being carried off with fantasy me thought has reduced.

[Elad]

Awesome Anrol, you are doing very well.

Do you see clearly that there is no self choosing neither acceptance nor tightness hollowness and thoughts that something is missing? Do you see clearly that none of it is a self? If not LOOK and tell me if there is anything there that could be a self. Get clear.

It's normal to have all these different reactions, seeing through self does not remove pleasure and discomfort (even great discomfort), ups and downs - conventionally speaking. It will help to not resist feeling and experience and that will help - but the transformation to not resist is not easy and almost always very gradual. Seeing through self is "only" the initial step, but it is a huge one.

Also do this exercise:


Cup Exercise

Here is an exercise which points out the difference between direct experience and content of thought.
There are two types of thoughts:
(1) Thoughts with words “Here is cup” (2) Visual mental images of a ‘cup’
So I invite you to do this exercise:
Think of a cup. Get a very clear picture in your mind. See clearly the size, shape, colour and volume of the cup. Notice whether it is decorated or plain. Notice whether it has a handle. Notice whether it is heavy or fragile. Do you have a clear picture in mind?
Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup? Can you pour tea into it?
Can you drink from it?
Is there a ‘real’ cup or just an image of a cup?
Is there an appearing mental image?
Is the content of the mental image (the cup) ‘real’?
The thoughts and mental images are real only as arising thoughts and mental images, their ‘presence’ cannot be denied. However their contents, what are they about are not ‘real’, they are just fantasies. Can you see this?

Over the course of the next day or so, I'd like you to notice the content of thoughts. Whenever there is an arising thought or mental image, check whether its content (what it’s about) is really happening, or the content is just pure imagination. Let me know how it goes.

[Anrol]

Hi Elad ,

When the content of thought is about things which are so obviously imaginary it is very easy to see them and not get hooked. What has been noticed is the content which is very wary of this process. It’s based on past experience. Fear of being misled or mis interpretation which could lead to instability. Fear of those in my environment and their reaction to “me” being lead down another delusional spiritual path. This is a big construct, a self defensive mechanism. Whilst it is clear that the effects of dealing purely with direct experience are plain to see and undeniable there is still this clinging to a belief “I “ have to be able to prove to those around me that this is a legitimate inquiry. There is also knowing that this is entirely unnecessary and that truth speaks for itself.

The cup exercise was very clear.

[Elad]

Hi Elad ,

When the content of thought is about things which are so obviously imaginary it is very easy to see them and not get hooked. What has been noticed is the content which is very wary of this process. It’s based on past experience. Fear of being misled or mis interpretation which could lead to instability. Fear of those in my environment and their reaction to “me” being lead down another delusional spiritual path. This is a big construct, a self defensive mechanism. Whilst it is clear that the effects of dealing purely with direct experience are plain to see and undeniable there is still this clinging to a belief “I “ have to be able to prove to those around me that this is a legitimate inquiry. There is also knowing that this is entirely unnecessary and that truth speaks for itself.

The cup exercise was very clear.

Beautiful Anrol,

As far as I am concerned we will never be able to prove the validity of this to anyone. I mean we could give arguments from Buddhism, Neuroscience, etc - but its only that, arguments and they have counterarguments.

As far as I am concerned the greatest safety is the invitation to look with sincerity, simplicity, heartfulness and mindfulness, and be ongoingly open to direct "personal" discovery of what is helpful and direct. I would disencourage anyone from believing anyone else with these "ultimate matters".

For me all this should be about asking questions that interest us and looking with sincerity and discovering.

So where are you now with regards to the existence or nonexistence of a separate self, doer, controller?

[Anrol]

Sitting in the garden watching all the activity around , so many interactions, so much diversity all operating seemingly independently but ultimately all relying on the others for their existence. I have watched in awe of this all my life but now realise that this being is not separate from that so conclude that there can not possibly be a separate self or controller , and never can have been.

[Elad]

🌻



So the first time I gave you the "final questions" they served as a good marker for more work to do. I wonder if you feel you are ready for them now? Or is there some doubt or something that doesn't feel whole that we can look to help you with.

After LU, btw, the process continues, and I will talk with you how support and sharing can continue. We do want the seeing through self to feel clear and satisfying before ending here.

[Anrol]

Something still doesn’t feel whole but I don’t know what .