1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No separate self, now or ever.
Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
“Self” is the concept we’re taught to believe is who we are, as a discrete entity that is real and can be pointed to. Self cannot be known, only our feelings, thoughts, perceptions and sensations can be known through direct experience. We’re taught self can be threatened and that we need to defend it. Yet it isn’t a real thing that one finds as a single, real entity. “Self” is what we get attached to, yet it is an illusion. It starts somewhere in early childhood when the illusion of separation is first experienced. When we’re born, we don’t know ourselves as separate. We respond to physical needs alone without a self-concept. Seeing the illusion allows one to become detached and allow the free movement of experience.
How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Honestly, this truth was known prior to this dialogue, but the exercises presented through this dialogue allowed for it to be known on a deeper level through direct seeing. It feels like expansion, release, and warmth in the chest/solar plexus. It is now clear that all that is experienced isn’t the self. In the past few days, it has become so clear that all that filters through my experience are not controllable, and none of them define a singular self.
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
There was an experience on January 1st, where the stories of the self seemed to dissolve and what was left was an overwhelming sense of acceptance, peace and love. It happened when the thoughts of “I am not enough” were directly observed and seen as the lie. There was this sense that "now that I see this, I can't unsee it". After this, there was an interest in exploring what happened here. After speaking with Eshwar Segobind, I was directed to the LU forum. He said, “Do you want to know the truth? There is no you”.
Describe decision & give examples from experience.
Decision is the movement towards an action based on beliefs (thoughts) about prior experience. It seems I can choose food to eat or an article of clothing to wear, but that decision is based on thoughts that come from somewhere beyond my control, so the decision isn’t really “mine”.
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Intention is the thought that drives an action. As humans we move from pain towards pleasure. But there is no sense of where this nature originated. I seem to have the thought “act from a place of love”, but where that thought comes from is unclear.
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Free will is the illusion that we can decide our fate through choice, yet there cannot be actual freedom as that presupposes control, a separate "decider". Actions just come, there is no “I” to will it. As separation is an illusion, free will would be impossible because it would assume “I” can do apart from “you”.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
Choice is the sense that we do have some control over our situations, and on the level of illusion, it seems real, but again there is no “I” to choose.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
Control is also an illusion depending on an "I" that can make things happen. I am the experiencer, not the one who brings about the experience. Surrender is all one can “do”.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
This is unknowable from this limited perspective. None of us can know or pretend to know this. Consciousness is, but only observation is possible, experience through the senses and perceptions of what is “out there,” and only through the perspective of being "in here". Directly knowing what makes anything happen is impossible.
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
If by responsible, you mean what comes about from my doing, then the answer is nothing, as there is no "I" to be responsible for it. If by responsible you mean what am I obligated by morality to do, then it would be just observing. Just awareness. Being love. There's nothing else "I" can do. There's nothing else here.
Anything to add?
Not sure if these answers fit what you’re looking for - but without a doubt, it is completely clear to me that “my” life is a series of experiences that can be known only as sensations, perceptions, thoughts and feelings and that there isn’t one thing called “I” that can be found and is in control. It is clear that because of the limitations of what can be experienced in this body, my understanding can only extend so far. A peace has come in realizing the absolute truth is unknowable, and there doesn’t need to be so much attachment to “my” life. It can just flow. The unreal “I” is grateful for this experience and the exercises that Stacy shared which helped uncover this truth.
