No controller, but is that it?

[has0i]

Hi Stacy,

Can you say 100% that there is no separate self anywhere and never has been?

When I read that question and LOOK right now, there is only sight, thought, sensations and sound. Nothing outside of it to find either.
But then why is there the "acting" like the self? Some of those things in experience are taken to be the self, for example, when talking to people. Looking back now, that was just happening that way. But if I were to talk to someone right now, in the moment, it would feel like an "I" "doing" the talking to them. This "only sights, sounds, no self" is forgotten and the behavior is fully that of a self, which is usually attributed to the sensations and thought image of face. Is this normal if one has seen through the illusion? If you were to ask the same question at such a moment, I would be hesitant to answer there is no separate self since there is the behavior of one. Hence the reluctance to say yes to the 100% part.

In any case, thank you very much for all the help with this. Much gratitude.

[Anastacia42]

It won't be 24/7. There's likely to.be a "honeymoon period," and then what we call, "got it, lost it," as untrue beliefs come up to be questioned.

Watch this, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

Does that help?

Loving,

[has0i]

Those videos do help actually. I guess vacillations are to be expected and selfing behaviors will erode gradually in the light of the truth. Thanks!

Could you please provide some advise on something? I'm currently prepping towards a certain goal in life, which is very important to me. Even right now though, motivation is low and it's not going well. I'm worried about how this message would impact motivation. Is motivation itself a sort of clinging which is helpful in life though?
The fear is that this message will simply cause contentment in the current situation, motivation will die down, the hours of prep and working towards the goal won't be done and I'll be stuck in the current toxic situation. There are consequences to career and life if that goal were to be missed which I'm worried about. I would be very grateful for any advise you can provide. Thanks.

[has0i]

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

I can't see where they are actually meet since I'm seeing from above. What I see is a transition of colors from pants to color of chair. There is also the sensation of butt on chair and also some some thought images visualizing that sensation. Those thought images are around the area where butt meets the chair.

Thanks

[Anastacia42]

Good morning.

Yes. Life goals can change, but remember palm flipping? You're not in charge, anyway.

Let me share a recording called Goal-Free Goal Setting that could help. You may want to do it a few times as you get clearer.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/h24gk6k7h78f ... EGGFa?dl=0

Keep practicing ButtChair. See that there is no separation. That's only another thought.

Loving,

[has0i]

Hi Stacy,

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

There seems to be no dividing line as such. It's all colors, if we look. But the sight of the body is different from the sight of the chair. The body is still there in experience, when I get up from chair, walk etc.

I guess that is a thought too. But body does feel separate. Body feels like a "me" whereas chair is not a "me".

I must say, the visual space has been more "in the face" recently. Self is worn pretty thin I think, but the body is not experienced as "not me" to the extend that I experience the chair as "not me". I think the difference is related to body sensations.

[Anastacia42]

Look closer. Try this:


Introductory Body Exercise

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes. Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

Loving,

[has0i]

Hi Stacy,

Thanks a lot for the questions. They're captivating. Especially the "inside outside" question. There doesn't seem to be any inside. Only the outside. Somehow thoughts and sensations are making up an "inside". The head area is most associated with the inside. For some reason, checking there is a bit uncomfortable. I would like to investigate this one a bit more and verify. Will post detailed replies tomorrow. Thanks.

[Anastacia42]

Please continue Quoting the question & putting the answer underneath.

[has0i]

Hi Stacy,

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

The minute I close my eyes, an image of the body the is front and center. Very prominent. It's hard to feel the sensations without them automatically mapped to somewhere on that image. All data such as the height, weight, volume, shape, form comes from that mental image.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

If we ignore the thought image of body, sensations are just sensations. No boundary between body and clothing. Just a sensation on which there is an image of a shoulder and a shirt touching.

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

There is no inside. I examined the "inside" from feet to head. It's just thought images of body and sensations. There is an assumption of inside between the facial sensations, facial thought images and back-of-the-head sensations and back-of-the-head thought image. But even that is just a thought. Just a thought image of blackness.
This inquiry was just uncomfortable. Especially examining the sensations on the back side of head, front of face, between them. Just frustrating sensations around the throat, chest and an increase in heart rate. Not fear or anything, just frustrating.
It also seems like when the eyes are closed, what is front and center is a thought image. Body sensations too. No matter how many times I inspect them, still can't understand why they "here". This is somewhat frustrating.

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

It refers to the body sensations that are felt here, close by, and the thought images that appear with the sensations. The experience of the body is the experience of body sensations.

Thanks.

[Anastacia42]

Yes, The "body" is just Sensations overlaid with thoughts.

"Frustrating" - what is that? It's an emotion. Refer to Colored Socks or your own experience. What is the actual experience of "frustrating?"

Loving,

[has0i]

What is the actual experience of "frustrating?"

First some body sensations become more prominent. For example, looking closely at the sensations on the back of the head, heaviness and tingly sensations are felt there. This is followed by some contractions in throat and chest, and an increase in heart rate. These sensations don't feel good. There is a dislike to feeling them. Thoughts come up saying, go for walk, do something else, etc.
In short, when zoomed in, these body sensations feel heavy, tingly. For some reason there is a dislike to them, unlike sights, sounds etc. I don't understand why they feel more closer and important compared to sight, sound etc.

Thanks Stacy.

[Anastacia42]

Okay... refer to Colored Socks too

What is an emotion made of?

[has0i]

Hi Stacy,

Emotion is a body sensation. Frustration is also a body sensation. The best I can describe it is that it is felt as tingling and heat.
I was describing the sequence of events when it happened in the last post. But yes, it is a body sensation.

[has0i]

Please ignore the previous post. Forgot to quote the questions there.

Hi Stacy,

What is an emotion made of?
What is the actual experience of "frustrating?"

Emotion is a body sensation. Frustration is also a body sensation. The best I can describe it is that it is felt as tingling and heat.
I was describing the sequence of events when it happened in the last post. But yes, it is a body sensation.