Ready/Already

[graceabounds]

Yes. Good seeing here D.

Now...
You noticed the sensations aren’t being claimed when the commentator is quiet—right. And what’s left? Just raw arising. No one holding the reins.

There doesn’t seem to be a knower when actually looked for

Is that doubt—or is that still the habit of searching for one?

Drop the hedging. Look again now:
Is there a knower? Anywhere? At all?

You can describe seeing, hearing, sensing.
But where’s the one doing it?
Trace it. Find the location.

Now about the gathering:
No anxiety arose. You didn’t notice it in real time—because there was no one to notice!
No “you” managing experience. Just life, flowing. Effortlessly.
That’s it.

But watch closely now. The mind will try to claim this retroactively—“I was peaceful,” “I handled that well.”
That’s the reinstatement of the phantom. Catch it.

Stay with raw. Stay with what’s undeniably here—without anyone here. Let me know what’s seen.
Don’t theorize. Report only what’s actual.

Keep going. You’re close.

[LookNow4444]

Hi Becca,

"There doesn’t seem to be a knower when actually looked for"
Is that doubt—or is that still the habit of searching for one?

Yes, I can see the doubt trying to creep in with thoughts of “this isn’t it, this isn’t enough, what will you do if the seeking is over?”

Drop the hedging. Look again now:
Is there a knower? Anywhere? At all?

The knower is an empty ghost! Vapor. Never was there!

You can describe seeing, hearing, sensing.
But where’s the one doing it?
Trace it. Find the location.

Tonight my body has felt really clumsy walking around, awkward, perspective strange too, like my location is off when I look down on the body, senses like hearing is too loud, my own voice and others?

But watch closely now. The mind will try to claim this retroactively—“I was peaceful,” “I handled that well.”
That’s the reinstatement of the phantom. Catch it.

Yes! It’s like there is a waiting for those kind of thoughts to come in out of habit.

Stay with raw. Stay with what’s undeniably here—without anyone here. Let me know what’s seen.
Don’t theorize. Report only what’s actual.

The usual thoughts aren’t there about the same anxious stuff tonight, actually thoughts in general are hard to focus on, they are dissipating as soon as they come up. Today enjoyed being out in nature with the wind and spring.

:)
D

[graceabounds]

Hi D,

Yes, I can see the doubt trying to creep in with thoughts of “this isn’t it, this isn’t enough, what will you do if the seeking is over?”

Can you see it not as your thought, not as true, not as guidance, but as a reflex? A muscle memory from a role that’s being dissolved?

In another sense is already over. What has been sought so fervently never existed…

Tonight my body has felt really clumsy walking around, awkward, perspective strange too, like my location is off when I look down on the body

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Look very carefully, especially with the last question.

Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

Today enjoyed being out in nature with the wind and spring.

More of that!

Go back out into nature and simply spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds - all move all the time.

Then move focus to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colors, sensations come and go.

Notice that everything is part of one movement.
Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself.
If yes, where is the boundary?
Is there an inside and an outside of Life?
Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?
Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?
Is witnessing part of the one movement too?
Is there anything which is not just happening?

🤍
Becca

[LookNow4444]

Hi Becca,
Thank you, these were really powerful pointers!

Yes, I can see the doubt trying to creep in with thoughts of “this isn’t it, this isn’t enough, what will you do if the seeking is over?”
Can you see it not as your thought, not as true, not as guidance, but as a reflex? A muscle memory from a role that’s being dissolved?

Yes this rings true, these thoughts as a reflex, a habit still spinning out. Not "my" thoughts.

“Tonight my body has felt really clumsy walking around, awkward, perspective strange too, like my location is off when I look down on the body”
Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?

Not at all!

Does the body have a weight or volume?

There is sensation of tingling, some vibrations, but no sense of volume or weight present.

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

There is no way to “know” this when the eyes are closed.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?

Melts together, can’t be felt, no boundary.

Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

None, feels as one.

Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?

Feel sensation of heartbeat in chest, breathing expanding the ribs, tingling in legs, but with eyes closed this feels expansive- all happening together.

If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

Out in nature, the body sitting, goosebumps rise on arms with the cold wind blowing, feels like on the “outside” of body, but this might be dipping into thoughts/labeling of an actual sensation just happening?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?

Doing this outside with the eyes closed, the elements of nature coming and going, “my” body just a part of all of it with it’s coming and goings also just happening. Nobody controlling anything, just like the raining dropping from nothing. The word "body" is just a "word" that could never describe the actual. Words=labels! How could you describe a tree without using any words, impossible, this was once true through the eyes of all of us before language was known. Mysterious and wondrous come up, but these are just more words/labels trying to describe JUST WHAT IS.

What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Look very carefully, especially with the last question.

All of the senses of the body (the usual 5 senses) are just happening, nothing controlling any of them, with thought/labeling absent, life is so simple. With the eyes closed, no way to even be sure there was a”body”. No boundary between life and the body.

Go back out into nature and simply spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds - all move all the time.

Yes! Yes! All this is much clearer in nature. Nothing divided, all movement spontaneous…bees buzzing flowers, birds singing in all directions, tree buds bursting into existence! There is NO director of this beautiful symphony, how could there ever be?

Then move focus to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colors, sensations come and go.

HA! These sensations and thoughts that use to belong to “me” are also like nature’s beautiful spontaneous symphony! Nothing in charge! I love what you said, watch “the movement of the whole-all move all the time” That resonates so deeply right now!

Notice that everything is part of one movement.
Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself.

No line, all is one life-one movement

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

Not there!

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

How could there be? It wouldn’t BE!

Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

No actual “witness”, nothing outside or inside, just life happening and happening and happening, it can’t NOT happen!

Is witnessing part of the one movement too?

If “witnessing” is felt to be happening for “someone” then that would also be what’s happening!

Is there anything which is not just happening?

A BIG NO!! Every-thing & Any-thing has always and will BE just happening!

In appreciation,
D

[graceabounds]

Bravo!

Mysterious and wondrous come up, but these are just more words/labels trying to describe JUST WHAT IS.

Yes D! How does it FEEL to see what is?

All of the senses of the body (the usual 5 senses) are just happening, nothing controlling any of them, with thought/labeling absent, life is so simple.

It always has been this simple. Available now. And now. And now.

So D, is any trace of seeking still present?

4444,
Becca

[LookNow4444]

Hi Becca! Happy Earth Day!

“Mysterious and wondrous come up, but these are just more words/labels trying to describe JUST WHAT IS.”
Yes D! How does it FEEL to see what is?

To FEEL what IS, as it IS…is so…well, just ordinary, no fireworks going off or shouting from rooftops. BUT at the same time there IS also a feel-ing of a difference or a slight shift that's paradoxically profound…thoughts are MUCH lighter and quiet, now just a background sixth sense so to speak, they do not have a serious urgency to them right now. Was strange for a few days, there was waiting for the usual thought stream to erupt and cause chaos, but they were just not arising. That tired old cycle just being a habitual residue, the imagined thought of ‘me’ spinning itself out. The body relaxing more without the anxious thought patterns as well. Lately a lot of mid-sentence abrupt stopping and just laughing as there is not the usual attachment to discuss the drama surrounding most conversations. Husband, child and friends confused, but the recent statement coming out of this mouth is: “ That just doesn’t bother ME anymore”. That statement sums up such a noticeable ‘change’, the result being-the imagined suffering just not sticking anymore. So many things had ‘bothered ME’, always wanting things to be different than what was actually happening. Make Something/ME/Them better, but now see ALL IS ALREADY JUST IS, always was, always will be!!

“All of the senses of the body (the usual 5 senses) are just happening, nothing controlling any of them, with thought/labeling absent, life is so simple.”
It always has been this simple. Available now. And now. And now.

YES!! SO SO SO SIMPLE, direct experience of these senses are KEY to seeing this!! They are always HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, this shakes ‘you’ out of the imagined thought stream story. But seeing that the thoughts also just come and go, that it’s not possible that a ‘separate self/thinker’ was ever or is there that is/was producing them or getting rid of them is extremely helpful too.

So D, is any trace of seeking still present?

The answer that is coming up is NO!!
Another ‘change’ that is arising currently is….the bottom has fallen out of the seekers purgatory…that dreaded place where seekers can get stuck in year after year.…understanding ‘concepts’ intellectually and looking for the answers only in the mind…a vicious never-ending loop. This sounds a bit dramatic…but the frantic energy that consumed the last 5 years of ‘trying to find’ and ‘figure out’ Non-Duality/Enlightenment/Peace…is disappearing daily!! The chronic habits of reading/listening/watching …of said subjects is just not holding much interest right now. But after saying all that though, there is a knowing now, even that illusion of being ‘stuck there' was just what was happening and couldn’t have been any other way. The freeing up of that energy does feel foreign…but also very spacious and the heightening of the senses now which are ALWAYS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW are more captivating at the moment!!

So much gratitude for you Becca…you’re such a beautiful direct presence and a powerful special guide!
:)
D

[graceabounds]

Beautiful D!

Such a radiant and grounded report. More will continue to unravel and unfold in its own time, this is really only the beginning. ;)

At this point I’m going to give you a few questions to uncover any remaining gaps in clear seeing. Enjoy them!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before we started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look? Was there a moment of shift with a distinct before and after?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. Consider and describe each if these separately.

6) What makes things happen? How does it work?

7) What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

8) Anything to add?

In gratitude, on Earth Day,
Becca

[LookNow4444]

Hi Becca!
Thanks for your questions!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

A BIG NO to this question! It is obvious that not only is there no ‘separate self’ now, but there never was one!

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

This is becoming clearer when the illusion of the ‘separate self’ starts…looking back on when ‘my’ child was around the age of the ‘terrible twos’ (makes sense now!) with much resistance to ‘obey and conform’ to what was already just life naturally flowing. There was constant redirecting of labeling and describing put upon what she was just naturally experiencing. There was much praise when she could ‘learn’ the right words for all that was majestically unknown, this of course included ‘Her-SELF’ with a special name (just another describing word). I remember her as a baby always wanting to look in the mirror, being so curious and perplexed, not realizing there was any separation from the mirror, not realizing the image reflecting back was ‘her-SELF’. Soon the words/labels I/Me/My-SELF/Mine became the ‘correct’ filter to navigate life. Then came wanting life to be different than what it actually was. This was so convincingly modeled by the ‘all knowing’ adults/others around. The next conversion stage was actually believing in the ‘YOU’ character WHO could change the natural flow of life, thus which is the root of all suffering. This was the same for ‘my’ life and all other human babies…words/labels replaced actual experience of life-ing and the label/word of ‘My-SELF’ which created the biggest illusion of all time and was never ever questioned.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before we started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

The feeling of ‘nothing bothers ME’ is such a BIG change for this character! This is not to say that everything is peace and joy all the time now, or that disagreements or frustrations aren’t happening anymore. Quite the opposite actually, these feelings and sensations are felt/seen rather quickly now, but the apparent change is that they arise and dissipate without wanting things to be any different from what is just happening. A knowing life cannot be anything other than WHAT IS ALREADY JUST HAPPENING!

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look? Was there a moment of shift with a distinct before and after?

The exercise you suggested, sitting with the senses (this was done out in nature) and trying to feel any boundaries between the body and all that IS, was such a powerful pointer! It became clear that in nature, no-thing can start or stop the continuous movement of life just flowing… just life-ing. Sitting with the body, eyes closed, it was seen as the same movement of life, flowing freely, no line between all that there IS, no director within and without, no boundaries. Rain justing rain-ING, Humans just be-ING! This was only an intellectual understanding before. Not a big bang shift BUT rather a quiet knowing, which slowly unfolded.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. Consider and describe each if these separately.

All these ‘words/labels’ are what keep the illusion of a ‘separate self’ believed in and never questioned. It APPEARS that YOU make decisions, but it is just that…an appearance. There is just NO separate entity who is in charge of making the ‘right or ‘wrong’ decisions. The 'decision' to pick between two bowls of ice cream..one chocolate..one vanilla…really just happens, just the motion to pick up the chocolate bowl happens, there is no ’separate entity’ making this decision. Like watching a dog “decide” to eat the wet food bowl over the dry food bowl.

Intention is just another thought of make believe that there is a’ self’ that is in charge and can ‘make’ something happen other than what is ALREADY JUST HAPPENING!

Free will...There is NO entity with autonomy or one that HAS free will, this is VERY threatening for a ‘self’ who’s still believes in this charade! Anger, hostility and mass confusion will arise when this message is even suggested!

Choice: There is not a ‘separate self’ that is able to ‘make’ a choice, never has..never will. This is clearly seen as the body moves so effortlessly throughout the day…eat-ING, breath-ING, see-ING, digest-ING. All effortlessly just happening.

Control: Try to control ‘your’ thoughts, not to have or stop them, to think just happy thoughts…try to control ‘your’ hearing, can you make it stop on command?
Yeah, nice try controlling anything else then! Next try the weather!

6) What makes things happen? How does it work?
Existence…Life IS, NO-ONE or NO-THING makes things happen. The shift that is happening here is an apparent openness to NOT KNOWING ‘how’ or ‘why’ 'IT' “all works”!

7) What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
To be “Responsible for” anything or anyone, when life is just happening as life has and always will be...seems like a crazy dramatic notion now! What a heavy burden to ‘take responsibility’ for all ‘your’ past actions and decisions, that ‘YOU’ think created the life ‘YOU’ are living right now. That’s a lot of shame/guilt/regret luggage to not ever put down! The family just gets ‘taken care of’ with food that is bought that fills the fridge. Laughter and tears arise and fall, sensations and feelings of love and sadness come and go just like the clouds in the sky.

8) Anything to add?
There was that old childhood song “Row your boat” that was the only thing that would grace ‘my’ child to sleep at night and lately spontaneous singing of it is happening. Quite a profound message for a children’s song…Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream…merrily, merrily, merrily…LIFE IS BUT A DREAM!!

Thank ‘you’ Becca for gently rowing THIS boat down the always flowing stream and merrily out of the dream!
:)
D

[graceabounds]

Really really lovely, all of this.

I have no further questions. It is clear to me that what was sought has been revealed! I’ve shared your responses with the whole community of LU guides to see if there is anything in the above which would be an opportunity for exploration or deepening.

Stay tuned… :)

With love,
Becca

[graceabounds]

Hello dear D,

A few other guides read through your responses today and had no further questions either so it appears the Gateless Gate has been crossed… but as you know there is no Gate, no one to cross it, and no end to the journey. :)

Soon you’ll receive an email notifying you of a PM from the forum, inviting you to join LU's Facebook groups. It also has other information that might be of interest. Your username will change from green to blue and this thread will be moved to the ‘Archive’ section of the forum, but you will be able to access it.

The experience these past couple of weeks is just the beginning of exploring. It will also be the beginning of cleaning up of all sorts of old beliefs and habitual patterns of thought as has already been happening. This can be an emotional process and a nonlinear one. If you have any questions or hiccups at all, you are welcome to drop a line here or email me directly any time at becca@supportedawakening.com.

It has been a pleasure to walk beside you here. Of course it is not necessarily the end of our conversation. :)

With gratitude and love, merrily, merrily merrily…
Becca
🙏

[LookNow4444]

Thank you again Becca!
Sending so much love and appreciation your way,
🩶🙏
D