The Gate

Alessio, sorry for the delay in replying, besides the rush happening here, the site was down for a while and I didn’t even see the notification of your last message.

And look… what you’re describing now is no longer seeking, or doubt, or trying. It’s just the bare simplicity of experience happening with no center. You’re noticing moments where even the subtle “me” dissolves, where there are no eyes, no one behind the eyes, no one looking, no one writing. And when the mind tries to rationalize any of it, you see that none of that has any power over direct experience. Good. This is exactly how the collapse of the “I” shows itself: the world continues, the body continues, thoughts continue… there’s just no one there possessing any of it.

And here’s the most important point right now: don’t turn this into a new project, don’t make it into something to hold onto, don’t try to maintain or improve anything. Don’t touch the mind’s commentary. Don’t try to control the silence. Don’t try to stay in a “state.” Nothing needs to be sustained, because there’s no one here who could hold anything up. What’s happening now doesn’t depend on a “you,” and it never did.

You described it clearly: everything exists on its own, without someone observing; thoughts arise and float; the so-called “I” appears only as empty words that don’t describe anything real. That’s seeing. All that remains now is to not grab it, not tighten around it, not try to understand it.

And if a thought appears saying “this isn’t complete,” or “it’s not enough,” or “something is missing”… who is it talking to? Look carefully: it appears out of nothing, disappears into nothing, and doesn’t land anywhere. When that is seen, the whole game is finished.

So tell me now, directly, from exactly how things are appearing:
is anything in your experience personal?

Hi May,
don t worry, I had the same issue, the site was down and I didn t receive any notification of your last message.

"Don’t turn this into a new project, don’t make it into something to hold onto, don’t try to maintain or improve anything. Don’t touch the mind’s commentary. Don’t try to control the silence. Don’t try to stay in a “state.” Nothing needs to be sustained, because there’s no one here who could hold anything up. What’s happening now doesn’t depend on a “you,” and it never did."

That s exactly what was going on, mind saying " I am losing it, it s my fault", but despite this narrative, there was clear seeing that this is just the same old pattern. Nothing new.There is never anything new in thoughts, same old repetitive patterns. What is still driving the machine is the belief that the seeing of "no self" needs to be repeated multiple times to really stick, but looking at this believe, it s just another story.

"And if a thought appears saying “this isn’t complete,” or “it’s not enough,” or “something is missing”… who is it talking to? Look carefully: it appears out of nothing, disappears into nothing, and doesn’t land anywhere. When that is seen, the whole game is finished."

Yes , exactly. Now there was even a funny thought after a long moment of silence, saying " but what will happen to me? there will be no one left" But this was recognized to be a thought, which anyway disappeared into nothing, exactly like it was predicting

"So tell me now, directly, from exactly how things are appearing:is anything in your experience personal?"

There is no center, now there is absolutely no center and no one that controls things. Apparances just "rotate" (I don t know how describe it) without an I in the center. They just appear and disappear by themself.
I can see that it s just a thought, but since it s quite an insisting one I will share it . The main doubt that still remain is that when it s intensely looked at, there is recognition of no "me", sometimes quite dramatic and powerful, with a lot of joy and easiness and aliveness coming up, sometimes instead just a brief but clear seeing. The thing instead is that when there is no looking and daily life goes on, especially at work, it seems to go back into the usual "me". At the same time, strangely, even when it seems I am completely identified, there is a lot less reactivity and attachment to ideas. The only thing that remain of the non existing "me" is an habit. It looks like when you know something it s not healthy for you, but you do it anyway from time to time just out of habit.
Thanks May,
Have a great evening
Alessio

Alessio, how are you righ NOW? :)

So, you’re seeing it clearly: the only thing calling itself “me” now is habit. Not identity. Not belief. Just a reflex firing with no one behind it.

That feeling you described: “when there’s looking, it’s obvious; when daily life moves on, it seems like the old me comes back”... this is simply the mind doing what it has always done: producing the same patterns. But they’re empty. Totally empty. So, you’re not “going back” to anything, my friend. There’s nothing to go back to. There never was a self there in the first place.

Look right now: when the mind says “I slipped back into the old me”… does that sentence land on anyone? Does it point to an actual entity? Or is it just more thought-content floating with no owner?

What you called “identification” at work isn’t identification anymore. It’s just conditioning running as it always has, but without a center. Life continues; patterns continue; thought continues; reactions rise and fall... but there’s no one inside them. And you can feel that. That’s why reactivity is dropping even when the mind claims you’re “back in the me.” You aren’t.

There’s no one to maintain clarity.
No one to lose it.
No one to return to anything.

Looking doesn’t create seeing, it only exposes what’s already here. Daily life doesn’t cover anything, it just makes the mind louder. But louder doesn’t mean truer. ;)

So let’s finish the only question that matters right now:

When you say “it seems like the usual me,”
look at that “me” directly, here, now.
Does it exist anywhere outside of thought?

Check carefully.
Not the story.... the immediacy.

Tell me what you find.

Hi May,

I started to receive notifications again by mail. I am good right now, lot of work, but it s taken lighter than usual. I had to work as well today ,but didn t bothered me much.

"There never was a self there in the first place."

Yes, this is becoming clear. There were only thoughts believing to be created by an entity called Alessio, the only difference is that now they are seeing as just thoughts when looked at in a direct way. They are "separate" (although part of the right now moment, hope it makes sense) and each is recognized as singular independent appearance, not connected to a real entity that decide what thought to have or which arm to move or what to like or dislike.

"does that sentence land on anyone? Does it point to an actual entity? Or is it just more thought-content floating with no owner?"

It points to nothing. Even accepting or rejecting the thought that say " I am back into the me" is not done by anyone, only other thoughts trying to reassert control. But thoughts can t do anything, they are just noise that can t control experience.

"What you called “identification” at work isn’t identification anymore. It’s just conditioning running as it always has, but without a center"

There is the desire to see this even more deeply. Conditioning is still here, but seems that the fire and the drive behind it is dissipating. There is still enjoyment in daily activities, actually even more than before, but there is no drive to arrive anywhere or the illusion that a future experience will bring an imaginary "me" to a better imaginary moment than now.

"There’s no one to maintain clarity. No one to lose it. No one to return to anything."

This is really liberatory. No one needs to strive for anything, even the "trying" in looking is useless, real looking happen by itself spontaneously.
"When you say “it seems like the usual me,”look at that “me” directly, here, now. Does it exist anywhere outside of thought?"
No it doesn t , even the feeling of me behind the eyes, is just a feeling that doesn t belong to anyone.

Thank you for all your support, May
Alessio

Hi Alessio,

Thank you for your message. It s clear from what youre sharing that the seeing is settled and simple now. thoughts, sensations, habits still show up, but without a center behind them. Nothing special to maintain, nothing to get back to.

At this point here in LU, we usually do a final checkpoint. This isnt a test and it’s not meant to restart inquiry or create doubt. It s simply a way to make sure there are no loose ends and no subtle confusion left. We also share these answers with other guides, just to see if there’s anything that might still need to be explored or clarified.

So I'll ask you to answer the questions below, from your own direct experience, in your own words. Take your time, no need to rush, and no need to be overly brief or overly analytical. Just be honest and grounded in what’s actually seen.

Here are the questions:

1 - Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2- Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3 - How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?

4 - What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

5 - What makes things happen? How does it work?

6 - What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

There s no “right” way to answer these, what matters is that the answers come from what is actually seen, not from memory, philosophy, or how it should sound.

Once you reply, we’ll look at it together and see if anything else needs attention, or if this cycle is complete.

Take your time, and speak from where you are now.

Hi May,
thanks for sharing the questions.

"1- Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?"

No, no me to be found in this moment, in this direct experience. Hands move without nobody moving them. There was never a me, only a current of constant thoughts, emotions and beliefs that were attributed to an imaginary entity.

"2- Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now."

It is based on thoughts, thoughts contain the "me", they appear spontaneously to describe experience, without anyone generating them. They are conditioned, because at close inspection there is no real creativity or originality in them, they are a mix of external factors and ideas inherited from others or from past experience , usually connected with desire or avoidance of pain. The "me" is created during childhood, totally spontaneously. There is no choice in its creation, it just appears. Once it appears, the trap is set and the more focusing and believing there is on these thoughts, containing an imaginary "me", the more alienating the experience becomes. Once all of the mechanism is observed , piece by piece, the entire thing start to fall apart.

"3 - How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?"

Simple and freeing. Especially when there is looking, there is a lot of silence, with a sort of subtle okness with every experience and simple acceptance of others and of the current experience. Activity and life continue to move, but there is less sense of control over it, because it is seen that there is nobody in control. There is less judgement over experience and others and when judgement arises, it is seen as just conditioning , created by nobody. During this dialogue there was an experience that showed directly that there is no me, not in thoughts, not in subtle sensations, nowhere. It was one of the most beautiful moment ever, but there is no striving to repeat it, because there is no me to strive for it.

"4 - What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?"

Probably the constant looking at the thoughts that were believed to be generated by an "I", plus a sentence that you shared in a post "If that thought doesn’t get believed, what remains?", but in reality there is no way to identify a single cause. It just started to happen spontaneously and the looking, the meditation, every experience in this life made it happen and keep happening. I don t know if this is what it is supposed to be, but here and now it is more a continuous unfolding, without a starting point or an arrival point.

"Describe decision & give examples from experience."

There is no one deciding, decision happen spontaneously. Now the answers just flow, there are moments of pauses and moments of writing, but there is no one deciding to pause or what to write.

"Describe intention & give examples from experience."

There is no intention and no one intending anything, only illusion of intention. For example , in meditation there is the illusion of intention to focus, but the focusing and the drifting off happen independently of the thoughts that say " I need to focus" or "I will never manage to stay focused today". There is no connection between the actual focusing and the thoughts about focusing, focusing happen by itself spontaneously. Only appearance of intention and will, that is constantly proved unreal by experience.

"Describe free will & give examples from experience."

Same example as before, no free will.

"Describe choice & give examples from experience."

There is no choice and there never was. Looking at this life, there is recognition that everything happened by itself on its own, with no one choosing. This recognition still brings tears , no one could have chosen anything better for this life. Even the striving to be in control was exactly what was needed, as well as the release of control. Everything happened exactly and precisely , with no one ever choosing anything, only thoughts/words pretending to be in control. Like if words could control anything :)

"Describe control & give examples from experience."

No control ever. There is no control even in answering these questions, since the answer to this question is in the previous answer, funny!

"5 - What makes things happen? How does it work?"

Things just happens, and the sum of it is called life. Can I say that life makes things happen? Don t know, these are just words, what happens happens right now, here. If the question means "is there a cause for things happening", then no, there is no single cause for anything, only the entirety of life triggers things to happen at its own time, with no one in control.

"6 - What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience."

Thoughts say " I am responsible for things", there is almost subtle fear right now, but it is seen that really there is no one responsible for anything, but despite this there is a sense of responsibility, but own by no one. There is even more caring about activities than before, when there was the certainty of a me being in control. There is acceptance of responsibility but without feeling the weight of it. For example few days ago I just accepted a sudden and unexpected request to present in an important meeting at work, there was no trying to avoid this responsibility and the acceptance was done spontaneously.
Thank you for your guidance and for keep bringing back attention to this moment,
Alessio

Hi Alessio,

Thank you for your answers. I’ve read them carefully, and as we usually do here at Liberation Unleashed, I shared them with a few other guides to see if anyone notices something that might still be worth exploring.

This can take a little time, so no rush at all. In the meantime, if there’s anything you’d like to look at together or anything that feels unclear or interesting to explore, I’m here.

with love <3

Hi Alessio,

Just a quick update 🙂
The other guides have now looked at your answers, and they all confirmed the same thing, there were no additional questions!

From here, it’s really about letting life unfold as it does, without turning this into something to manage or maintain.

If at some point you feel the call, you’re very welcome to volunteer as a guide for others here at Liberation Unleashed. There’s absolutely no obligation, just something to know is available if it resonates with you later on.

Nerina will reach out to you via inbox with more information about this post-gate phase and what usually comes next.

And please know this: you can always count on me. If any doubts come up, or if at any point you feel like exploring something together, I’m here. You’re very welcome to contact me via private message whenever you’d like.

It’s been a pleasure walking this with you. <3

Hi May,

thanks for the message. I would really like to thank you with all my heart, for all your encouragement and guidance, always pointing back to this moment and this direct experience.
I will send you messages in case something comes up and will wait for Nerina's message.

Enjoy this Christmas and Happy New Year,

Alessio

Hi Alessio,

Thank you for your message! I’m very glad our exchanges were helpful. And honestly, what we did here feels less like a dialogue and more like a kind of monologue unfolding (if you know what I mean :D ) with words just pointing back to what was already here all along.

Please do reach out anytime if something comes up or if you feel like exploring or sharing. I’ll be here!

Enjoy Christmas and have a beautiful New Year :))