would really appreciate a guide

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sikarasearth
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would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:13 am

Hi my name is Lyn and I live in Queensland Australia.

I have read many books on meditation, psychic development, chakra systems, self development etc. and I have watched youtube videos, such as Adyashanti. But I dropped all that a couple of years ago when i realized that the answer to the truth of who I really am is not in any book. It is inside of me . I have a burning desire for the truth of what truly is and hope to find a guide that can point me in the right direction. I have some fears about there being no me. I am a little afraid of being totally annhilated. I have had experiences that last for a couple of seconds, or if i am lucky, a few minutes where:
I saw my self as one with everything else.
the body was on automatic pilot and was, in fact moving on its own with no one in charge. (i was driving)

I can easily sit for a couple of minutes as pure awareness, but cannot directly experience no self.
I see my self as a bunch of thoughts, emotions and sensations that arise, but i still see my self as the one that
is in charge of my thoughts, so therefore there must be an I. I'm finding it hard to shake this idea. I see the I as a spirit that is inside the body.

What i hope to gain from becoming liberated is to know the truth. I don't think life will change terribly much.

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ElPortal
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby ElPortal » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:32 pm

Hi Lyn,

.. and welcome to LU.

I will be willing to guide you if you like.

If you are interested could you read and agree to the following:

1. Post at least once a day, even if only to say, "still here!" If you can't for some reason, just let me know.
2. I am not your teacher; all I can do is point. You look, until clear seeing happens.
3. Look deeply and honestly, then respond with 100% honesty. There are no wrong or right answers.
4. Respond from immediate personal experience only (felt senses and observed thoughts). Avoid long-winded analytical and philosophical and stream-of-consciousness answers which will probably hinder progress.
5. Please put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention into seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.
6. Please learn to use the quote function; this is invaluable in referring to things that have been written in previous posts. See these instructions:- viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660


If you haven't already seen it, there is intro info here, our disclaimer and a short video too http://www.liberationunleashed.com . Please take a look at that.

If you could confirm you have seen all the above, agree to them, and would still like me to be your guide - then we'll begin.


Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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sikarasearth
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Fri Mar 28, 2014 4:52 pm

If you could confirm you have seen all the above, agree to them, and would still like me to be your guide - then we'll begin.
Thank you for your help Mark. I agree to the terms and would like you to be my guide. I have watched the video and will be continuing my daily meditation practice which includes watching thoughts as they arise - just letting them come and go - and allowing negative feelings to be in the body which, i've found, makes them just drift away.

Thankyou, im ready to begin.

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ElPortal
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby ElPortal » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:41 pm

HI Lyn

That's great. So, off we go!

Having read the helpful background in your first post, I would like you to consider the following:-

1. You write:-
I have some fears about there being no me. I am a little afraid of being totally annihilated.
Thanks for that honesty. Please could you start by telling me what comes up when it is read that there is no “you” at all in reality, not in any shape or form, there never has been a “you”, nor is there or will be there ever be? There is only life moving freely, without any general manager called "you". Describe the reactions as fully as you can.

2. You write:-
What i hope to gain from becoming liberated is to know the truth. I don't think life will change terribly much.
Now I would like you to reflect carefully on the following extract (from LU homepage) about expectations which CAN be lurking in there somewhere. Reflect on each one in the list and let me know what comes up with you for any/each of them.

"Throughout the years our many guides have discovered that one of the major obstacles to the direct, clear seeing of what is already magnificently the case is a thick layer of expectations and narrative about a self’s journey towards enlightenment, built up by years and years of seeking. Getting these expectations out in the open and out of the way is an important first step. Below is a list explaining what the LU process is not:

This is not a way to escape your daily life.
This is not about gaining something extra, becoming something special.
This is not about cultivating an altered state of consciousness.
This is not a trick of the mind, or twisting the mind into believing certain thoughts.
This is not about gaining a particular bit of knowledge.
This is not about having a certain thought or sequence of thoughts.
This is not about becoming a holy, good, moral or better person.
This is not a belief, religion, or a philosophy, it not magical or mystical.
This is not going to lead you to eternal peace and happiness, it is not about happiness.
This is not about freedom from emotions and intense feelings.
This is not about getting rid of self, ego, I.
This is not a solution to problems in relationships.
This is not a way to get free of depression or other diseases.
This is not about stopping thoughts, changing thoughts, getting rid of thoughts.
This is not a way to make the story of you disappear.
This is not about convincing you of anything.
This is not something that will lead to accumulation of money or things.
This is not a self improvement program."

Take your time to consider, then let me know what comes up.

Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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sikarasearth
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:35 am

1. You write:-
I have some fears about there being no me. I am a little afraid of being totally annihilated.
Thanks for that honesty. Please could you start by telling me what comes up when it is read that there is no “you” at all in reality, not in any shape or form, there never has been a “you”, nor is there or will be there ever be? There is only life moving freely, without any general manager called "you". Describe the reactions as fully as you can.
OK. I feel that all my idiosyncrasies, the sense of humour, my quirkiness my personality - the things that i like about my self, will all dissapear if there is no me.

2. You write:-
What i hope to gain from becoming liberated is to know the truth. I don't think life will change terribly much.
My whole life is a burning desire for the truth of who I am. Apart from the loss of self, described above, i am supposing that life would go on as it always has, seeing as there is no one in charge to direct it.
This is not a way to escape your daily life.
I dont have a need to escape my daily life I mostly ( but not always) enjoy it.
This is not about gaining something extra, becoming something special.
I thought that gaining clarity of who I really am would be gaining something extra. If everyone is "no you", "no self", then I could not be more special than anyone else.
This is not about cultivating an altered state of consciousness.
Agreed. It is just an awareness of truth.
This is not a trick of the mind, or twisting the mind into believing certain thoughts.
Agreed. It is not mind-manipulation or any such thing.
This is not about gaining a particular bit of knowledge.
No it is just becoming aware of what was already there.
This is not about having a certain thought or sequence of thoughts.
I dont think my thoughts will change in any way-unfortuneately! I would love to be rid of negative thoughts, however, it is not to be.
This is not about becoming a holy, good, moral or better person.
Not possible for me ahah! In all seriousness, I understand.
This is not a belief, religion, or a philosophy, it not magical or mystical.
No. Its just truth.
This is not going to lead you to eternal peace and happiness, it is not about happiness.
I thought it might bring me more joy, knowing that there is no sufferer?
This is not about freedom from emotions and intense feelings.
Ok, thats fine.
This is not about getting rid of self, ego, I.
I thought it might be getting rid of "I", but i am wrong and accept that fact.
This is not a solution to problems in relationships.
OK, yes.
This is not a way to get free of depression or other diseases.
Yes, agreed.
This is not about stopping thoughts, changing thoughts, getting rid of thoughts.
Yes, I understand thoughts wont change.
This is not a way to make the story of you disappear.
Good. I feel a little better about the annihilation thing.
This is not about convincing you of anything.
OK, agreed.
This is not something that will lead to accumulation of money or things.
Definately not.
This is not a self improvement program."
I thought my outlook on life may improve, once it is known there is no sufferer?

Take your time to consider, then let me know what comes up.
Cheers

Mark[/quote]

Sorry Mark, dont know how to multi-quote.

Thanks,
Lyn

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ElPortal
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby ElPortal » Sat Mar 29, 2014 7:00 am

Hi Lyn

A sense of earnest hunger for the truth: just what is needed for this! Thanks for noting honestly all the expectations and anxieties which came up. We may come back to some of them. In seeing 'the truth' or 'what IS' it is often a case of letting go of the straws (erroneous ideas) we have been clutching at - whether from teachings, or conditioning or whatever other assumptions have been picked up, often very subtly.
I feel that all my idiosyncrasies, the sense of humour, my quirkiness my personality - the things that i like about my self, will all dissapear if there is no me.
Is this really about losing all those unique qualities, or is it about realising that there is, at base, no Lyn doing any of this (nor has there ever been): that there is (and only ever has been) just Life "doing a Lyn"? So let's go on an 'I' hunt, and see what can be found. Could you get a note book and make notes as you consider the questions and do the exercises.

1. Take some time to sit and fix your gaze on one 'item' in the room, leaving aside what it may or may not be called. Consider all its qualities, even allowing the other senses to take part if appropriate. Once you have done that, then consider its name. Does that name arise before, with or after the experience of the 'item'? Is that label, the name, actually the experience, or just a word which points to the experience?

2. Now sit and close your eyes. Taking your time, where does 'Lyn' seem to reside, here and now? What size, location, shape and qualities does 'Lyn' have? When you have considered all this carefully, make notes. Then let me know what comes up.

3. Eyes open now. Look out from those eyes at the computer screen, or at something else in the room. Where is 'you', where is the 'looking' and where is the 'thing looked at'? Where are the distinctions between these? Can you see dividing lines? Are they clear? Let me know what comes up.

Remember to keep your responses to each of those three questions in your first-hand experience in the present. If any received ideas come up (eg from other teachings, or mental concepts) just note those down too, as such, so that we can examine them, so that we can distinguish between theory and practical experience.

Cheers

Mark

PS re multi-quote: you seem to be getting it mostly right. I tend to keep it simple: just highlight each phrase and then press quote at the top of the editing window.
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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sikarasearth
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:40 am

I feel that all my idiosyncrasies, the sense of humor, my quirkiness my personality - the things that i like about my self, will all disappear if there is no me.
Is this really about losing all those unique qualities, or is it about realizing that there is, at base, no Lyn doing any of this (nor has there ever been): that there is (and only ever has been) just Life "doing a Lyn"?

I am beginning to be ok with there being no "Lyn". But, when I see directly that there is no "Lyn", will i become a
hollow shell, with no personality, or will i be the same happy-go-lucky me, with odd quirks, likes, dislikes etc? Last night, whilst listening to music, I had an experience that I was just life. It flowed through me, just as it flows through all things. I was just life. It lasted for a couple of minutes! It was nice and I wasn't annihilated, and I am wondering if i had an experience of liberation ? If so, then all my fears are unfounded. But seeing as i have not experienced liberation before, then I don't know if it was. Unfortunately , it went away. ):
1. Take some time to sit and fix your gaze on one 'item' in the room, leaving aside what it may or may not be called. Consider all its qualities, even allowing the other senses to take part if appropriate. Once you have done that, then consider its name. Does that name arise before, with or after the experience of the 'item'? Is that label, the name, actually the experience, or just a word which points to the experience?

When you say "does that name arise before, with or after the experience of the 'item', i don't know what you mean, sorry. Could you clarify please? I considered all the qualities of my fan. Fan is just a word for my experience, ie, you wouldn't call looking at different aspects of my fan and touching the different areas 'fan'. You would just call it an experience.
2. Now sit and close your eyes. Taking your time, where does 'Lyn' seem to reside, here and now? What size, location, shape and qualities does 'Lyn' have? When you have considered all this carefully, make notes. Then let me know what comes up.
To me, Lyn seems to reside as an awareness around my eyes. Just awareness. My body, my emotions/sensations certainly aren't Lyn. I still feel that, because I choose whatever I care to think about, that there must be a me directing my thoughts. I wonder:"surely they cant be happening on their own?'
3. Eyes open now. Look out from those eyes at the computer screen, or at something else in the room. Where is 'you', where is the 'looking' and where is the 'thing looked at'? Where are the distinctions between these? Can you see dividing lines? Are they clear? Let me know what comes up.
'You' seems to be my eyes and the 'thing looked at' is 'over there'. There are no dividing lines per se, to me it is the distance between us that separates us. What makes us distinct is that the thing I am looking at is a dog, whereas I am a human being.

Cheers

Lyn

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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:51 am

In my above post i said (In item ) "fan is just a word for my experience" ooops!! i meant fan is just a word, a label. It is not my experience of my fan. Hope that makes sense.

thanks Mark

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ElPortal
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby ElPortal » Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:00 pm

Hi Lyn,

Thanks for that.

Experiences which come and go are just that: experiences which come and go. The Truth, or What IS, is that which never leaves, and has never left you. In fact, chasing the 'peak' experiences can prolong the sense of a search, of something else being needed, of 'you' being separate from 'This' (like a surfer looking for the perfect wave, or a drug addict wanting the ultimate hit).

So we are investigating this current experience, what is right under our nose all the time, staring us in the face, to see if we can find a real 'Lyn' in it.

1. "When you say "does that name arise before, with or after the experience of the 'item', i don't know what you mean, sorry. Could you clarify please?"
I was talking about seeing whether there is a difference between the label 'fan', and the experience which we have been calling 'fan'. I enjoyed your response, and your PS.

2. Then in this second exercise, we can now look at: when we take away the label "Lyn" or "I", what is left in the immediate experience?
Try to describe that, using as many of the senses as possible. When you said before "just awareness", this is an often used term in spiritual circles, but I would like you to try to describe what is being sensed there when that word is used, even if you have to do it gropingly and fumblingly. So spend some time, with your notebook handy, noticing what seems to come up in this immediate experience when the label 'Lyn' or 'I' is taken out of the equation. Then report back.

3. What do you mean, 'there are no dividing lines per se'? Please describe the sensation of distance. Where does that sensation come up? How does it feel? When you take away the labels/interpretations 'dog' and 'human', how does the experience feel? Try to describe. Try to describe the sensation of 'looking'.
Then I would like you to vary this experiment: b) Instead of looking at the 'dog', close eyes and stroke the 'dog'. 'You" - 'stroke' - 'dog'. Describe the sensations without the labels as fully as you can (just try!). Is there any sensation of distance there? Any dividing lines? What comes up?
c) You can also try a third version, say with a hot drink. Close your eyes: 'you' - 'smell' - 'drink'. 'you - 'taste' - 'drink'. See the labels. Then minus the labels. Try to notice the sensations. Describe them as fully as possible. Any dividing lines? Any separations? Does the sensation seem to be happening "here" or "remotely"?

Just take time with these, Lyn, and describe honestly what comes up for you in your immediate sensations. Don't jump to conclusions or assumptions, and there are no wrong or right answers.

Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Sun Mar 30, 2014 4:43 am

2. Then in this second exercise, we can now look at: when we take away the label "Lyn" or "I", what is left in the immediate experience? Try to describe that, using as many of the senses as possible.
Nothing is left. There are thoughts and emotions and sensations. But there is no "Lyn". However, I see that intellectually, but not directly.
When you said before "just awareness", this is an often used term in spiritual circles, but I would like you to try to describe what is being sensed there when that word is used, even if you have to do it gropingly and fumblingly. So spend some time, with your notebook handy, noticing what seems to come up in this immediate experience when the label 'Lyn' or 'I' is taken out of the equation. Then report back.
I feel that my conscious awareness is centered in the space behind my eyes. In a kind of circular area. It sees objects, people, animals, etc - things that are outside of the body. It doesn't analyse the things it sees, the thoughts do that.
3. What do you mean, 'there are no dividing lines per se'?
Sometimes i take things literally and I meant there was no actual line drawn (with a pen, pencil) between myself and the object. heehee. I just realized how ridiculous that was.
Please describe the sensation of distance. Where does that sensation come up? How does it ?
Oh dear! This is so hard to answer. This is the best I can do: There is no sensation. None, anywhere. There is only the thought in my brain:"that is there and I am here". But there is no sensation that comes up, of separation.
When you take away the labels/interpretations 'dog' and 'human', how does the experience feel? Try to describe.
I am just looking. There is no sensation.
Try to describe the sensation of 'looking'.
I am just looking at things. Looking is just going on. I see objects, people, landscapes etc.
Then I would like you to vary this experiment: b) Instead of looking at the 'dog', close eyes and stroke the 'dog'. 'You" - 'stroke' - 'dog'. Describe the sensations without the labels as fully as you can (just try!). Is there any sensation of distance there? Any dividing lines? What comes up?
The sensations that come up are: warmth, softness, vibration (due to sniffing, because my little dog is wondering what the hell im doing!) movement( due to breathing), life within the body. My dog is under my hand, so that divides us. No! My skin and his skin is the dividing line. It seems silly almost. But I don't know why.
c) You can also try a third version, say with a hot drink. Close your eyes: 'you' - 'smell' - 'drink'. 'you - 'taste' - 'drink'. See the labels. Then minus the labels. Try to notice the sensations. Describe them as fully as possible. Any dividing lines? Any separations? Does the sensation seem to be happening "here" or "remotely"?
Sensations: warmth on the face, tongue, throat. stream going up the nose, warming it. warmth on the hands that
hold the cup. taste on tongue. sense of comfort.
Dividing lines: the outside of the cup/my skin.
Sensation here or remote? remote - the experience is there , I am here.

Lyn

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ElPortal
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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby ElPortal » Sun Mar 30, 2014 8:30 am

HI Lyn

Thanks for that: plenty there to look at.

2. Then in this second exercise, we can now look at: when we take away the label "Lyn" or "I", what is left in the immediate experience? Try to describe that, using as many of the senses as possible.
Nothing is left. There are thoughts and emotions and sensations. But there is no "Lyn". However, I see that intellectually, but not directly.
What can ever be known or seen intellectually? The intellect processes information, makes calculations, deductions, judgements etc, but can you tell me one thing that you can know or see for a fact with the intellect?

When you write 'nothing is left. There are thoughts and emotions and sensations', could you please spend a little longer over this (at least a few minutes) and describe the experience of this moment, involving as many of the senses as possible. Note them down and then report back to me in as much detail as you can.

I don't really understand when you say: 'nothing is left'. Is what is sensed 'nothing'? As you sit here now, reading this (minus the label 'Lyn' or 'I', what are the sensations? e.g. is there a sense of pressure where you are sitting, some sounds etc etc?).

Thanks for the description of 'conscious awareness'. So, the designations: people, objects, animals, are those in awareness, or are those mental processing of the experience? Can you describe the actual experience, however stumblingly, as best you can?

3. Let's look at some of these again:
There is only the thought in my brain:"that is there and I am here". But there is no sensation that comes up, of separation.
So are you saying that distance seems to be a thought, an interpretation?

Let's look again at the drink experience. You said 'the experience is there, I am here'. Can you stay with this for a while. Linger over those experiences of tasting and smelling, touching the cup. Are those experiences really felt to be remote, away from 'here'?

Then if you return again to looking at the dog (or other item), is the looking truly remote, or is it the 'object' which is interpreted as being remote? Where does the experience/sensing seem to be going on?

We've now got dogs, cups, drinks, landscapes, brains and more! If it's getting too complicated let me know and we'll simplify it down, but what I am trying to get you to consider (long and hard, honestly, in your actual present-moment experience) is the difference between what is thought/interpretation and the actual experience). Take time over this, Lyn. Through the necessities of living and survival, the mind is used to coming up with quick stopgap answers in a louder voice, but to allow what is actually here to come forward we need to give it some time and listen for a softer, less forceful voice.

Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.

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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Mon Mar 31, 2014 6:29 am

2. Then in this second exercise, we can now look at: when we take away the label "Lyn" or "I", what is left in the immediate experience? Try to describe that, using as many of the senses as possible.
]Nothing is left. There are thoughts and emotions and sensations. But there is no "Lyn". However, I see that intellectually, but not directly.
What can ever be known or seen intellectually? The intellect processes information, makes calculations, deductions, judgements etc, but can you tell me one thing that you can know or see for a fact with the intellect?
I thought, seeing as the intellect can, say, for example, calculate, then when it calculates 1 + 1 = 2, this is a knowable fact. Or it might process information and come to a conclusion, such as "that bird is black and white in color" and this is a fact also.
When you write 'nothing is left. There are thoughts and emotions and sensations', could you please spend a little longer over this (at least a few minutes) and describe the experience of this moment, involving as many of the senses as possible. Note them down and then report back to me in as much detail as you can.
Certainly - i didn't read the question properly.
Pressure of my butt on my bed.
Breeze from fan on skin.
Pushing of keys on keyboard.
pressure of pillow that hold keyboard on legs.
tightness of solar plexus/chest due to a little anxiety.
taste of garlic in mouth
seeing what is written/graphics on computer, seeing dog and cat on bed, other stuff in my room.
hearing fan going around, wind outside.
warmth from heat on skin.
vibration/tingling in feet.
I don't really understand when you say: 'nothing is left'. Is what is sensed 'nothing'? As you sit here now, reading this (minus the label 'Lyn' or 'I', what are the sensations? e.g. is there a sense of pressure where you are sitting, some sounds etc etc?).
See above ^
Thanks for the description of 'conscious awareness'. So, the designations: people, objects, animals, are those in awareness, or are those mental processing of the experience? Can you describe the actual experience, however stumblingly, as best you can
Im really not sure how to answer this, but here goes: Mainly mental processes:
I might see the ocean. I will think "its so beautiful". I may feel awe, or a sense of love for the ocean. I will look at how the waves are moving - are they rough or smooth, for example. Is the ocean dark or light? I will feel thankful for the ocean and sometimes cry at it's beauty.
I see a dog: I look at his shape, size, color, feel his personality, is he happy, friendly, or nervous, for example. I feel love for the dog ( i love dogs). I see how he walks and think "is he fit and healthy"? "I wonder if he's happy? - is his owner good to him?, or "oh god he's cute" So that's mostly what's going on in my head whilst out and about, which are mental processes.
3. Let's look at some of these again:
There is only the thought in my brain:"that is there and I am here". But there is no sensation that comes up, of separation.
So are you saying that distance seems to be a thought, an interpretation?
Yes I am. I have looked and looked and experience no sensation of separation. It seems to exist in thought only.
Let's look again at the drink experience. You said 'the experience is there, I am here'. Can you stay with this for a while. Linger over those experiences of tasting and smelling, touching the cup. Are those experiences really felt to be remote, away from 'here'?
The experiences actually aren't remote at all. The actual experience is happening inside me, it's not out there at all.
I dont know why i thought the experience was outside of me haha.
Then if you return again to looking at the dog (or other item), is the looking truly remote, or is it the 'object' which is interpreted as being remote? Where does the experience/sensing seem to be going on?
Again, the experience is happening inside me. The object seems to be remote, but the actual experience is inside myself.
We've now got dogs, cups, drinks, landscapes, brains and more! If it's getting too complicated let me know and we'll simplify it down,

Don't forget the fans!! haha no that's fine i don't mind complicated.

I appreciate your guidance,

Lyn

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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Mon Mar 31, 2014 6:46 am

PS: I just sat here and dropped all thought of an 'I' or 'me' and there really was nothing there. Which is a strange feeling.

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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby sikarasearth » Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:45 am

oh! i just had a funny realization. There is no "I", there is just a bunch of experiences, thoughts/feelings and sensations.

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Re: would really appreciate a guide

Postby ElPortal » Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:06 am

Hi Lyn

Hehe, love the PS's
There is no "I", there is just a bunch of experiences, thoughts/feelings and sensations
Is it ever any other way, really? Has there ever been an 'I" in reality?

In your main post, good work! We are going to be fairly thorough now.
I thought, seeing as the intellect can, say, for example, calculate, then when it calculates 1 + 1 = 2, this is a knowable fact. Or it might process information and come to a conclusion, such as "that bird is black and white in color" and this is a fact also.
Ok, so the intellect comes to conclusions but what can it actually KNOW, without observation/experience? Are even the 'black', 'white' and 'bird' anything more than words, labels inserted on top of the actual experience?
Pressure of my butt on my bed.
Breeze from fan on skin.
Pushing of keys on keyboard.
pressure of pillow that hold keyboard on legs.
tightness of solar plexus/chest due to a little anxiety.
taste of garlic in mouth
seeing what is written/graphics on computer, seeing dog and cat on bed, other stuff in my room.
hearing fan going around, wind outside.
warmth from heat on skin.
vibration/tingling in feet.
Loved your description of being in the room. Nice and immediate! Now try going through that whole list of sensations, and add in words like 'my' and 'I' to each sensation (just the first description has that at present). See how that feels. Then take all the possession and 'I'-ness back out of the descriptions. Any difference in how it feels? Does the 'me'-ness add anything?

Again, with your description of conscious awareness (a courageous attempt in words, thanks!), what happens when you try to take all the labels and all the 'me' out of those mental commentaries on the experiences? Just try it. What feelings and sensations are left? (I am expecting quite an odd-sounding description here, as every word we use is some sort of groping label, isn't it!).

Just one thing on question 3, about the experiences not being remote. When you say:
The actual experience is happening inside me, it's not out there at all
- I would like you to look at that 'inside me' part. Does it feel 'inside' something? Or just 'here' rather than 'over there'? Stay with it for a bit: which feels right? If it feels 'inside' something, what is that something? What is that 'me' that it feels inside? Try to describe.

Now another experiment for you. Let's see if we can find any 'me' directing this so-called 'Lyn' life:

A) Get up and walk some steps slowly. Notice, who got up and walked the few steps. Is there a controller who controls the getting up and the walking? Or is there just the getting up and the walking? Consider this deeply. Let me know what comes up.

B) Choose a drink eg tea/coffee/another drink or between a couple of objects eg blue pen/black pen/pencil. Then sit and see if you can find 'the self' who made that choice? If so, where exactly did that choice happen? Can you find a choicepoint (ie the location of choosing)? Try to describe the process of 'choosing'. Let me know what you find.

Cheers

Mark
"I": a simple case of mistaken identity.


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