Looping patterns of behaviour

[teddycolumbo]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
As a searcher of many years I have found a point of nihilism that leads me to irresponsible behaviours (like drinking alcohol and smoking) that then lead to regret which pont to the opposite - that I actually do care.
But then there is no self, so who is the one who cares? I don't know.

What are you looking for at LU?
I want to experience the reality of no-self. But I understand in theory that there is no I to experience this. So I don't really understand. It would be great to talk this through and be guided to new perspectives. I have experience but I am open minded to explore my dark spots of ignorance.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I am missing some steps or clues.
I would like a guide to agitate or inspire me out of this period where I feel stuck. I expect patience, and logic.
Hopefully some nice conversation and empathy. It would be nice to get somebody enthusiastic and consistent.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have completed meditation retreats and read books several years ago.
But now (last 3 or 5 years) I am out of spiritual practice and my focus and patience is low.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 9

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