Wanting to know the truth of our reality

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skb
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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Tue Sep 29, 2020 9:29 pm

What remains?
It's all just space for the experiencing, a sort of nothingness. It's blank and empty without the processing it's like somewhere for these things to arise in.
What is it, if you don't give it a name?
I'm not sure the "it" you're referring to. But if it's the "feeling" it seems like looking closer there is actually no feeling just experiencing or space for experiences to arise in. There's labeling that happens but that's afterward. It's all a no-thing just room for stuff and an inabilty to filter things out, whatever happens, to arise arrises.

There's no feeling of insight though and maybe that's what I keep expecting in some way. It's like I can see the emptiness if I look but am still holding on to something in some way.

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby Bananafish » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:50 am

It's like I can see the emptiness if I look

Who is it that's looking at the "emptiness"?

What divides that emptiness and you?
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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:07 pm

Who is it that's looking at the "emptiness"?
-
It seems like I'm looking at the emptiness but at the same time I am the emptiness or it's like the emptiness and I are just one. I don't see if there is anyone to be looking other than the emptiness. But this beleif in I still feels tangled in there somehow.
-
What divides that emptiness and you?
-
There doesn't really feel to be any true divison it almost feels the emptiness is just part of me or contained within me or it just is me.

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby Bananafish » Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:15 pm

But this beleif in I still feels tangled in there somehow.


Ok, let's have a look at this. Could you elaborate?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:14 am

It feels like I intellectually know and deep down in a way know that I am this clear awake aware spacioiusness that's inside when there's no thinking or processing and it feels like I've felt a connection of sorts there or glimpsed at this nature in some ineffable way. It also feels like there's no me there to support any of it when I look so there's no me there at all.

And then at the same time I can't help but feel like there's no way there's no me since I have a history and I've existed this long.

I ran into someone I went to highschool with last night and it felt like a connection back in time and that I have a history which seems to require an I. It seems intellectually I can think I'm no self but a part of me still feels entangled with this self. Maybe I'm not ready to let go in some way, I'm not really sure. There's definitely some fear there.

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby Bananafish » Thu Oct 01, 2020 11:10 am

I am this clear awake aware spacioiusness that's inside when there's no thinking or processing

Is this true? What if this is not so?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:29 pm

Ah good catch. I guess this is another belief. It's something I've heard a bunch of times and internalized the words for to explain my experience.

This is what it seems like from my own experience as well though. It's like if there are no thoughts there still is perceiving happening. There is an awareness there of the percieving and it's not clear there's anything else there without thinking about it in the moment. But it's hard to seperate if I know this or beleive it. Or both. Or neither. It feels like experincing though.

If it's not so then I'm then I'm something else entirely? I don't really know.

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby Bananafish » Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:12 am

There seems to be its of complication here; let's make it simple, rather than complicating it. :)


Is there
awake aware spacioiusness
now?

What can it be called in a more mundane, non-nondual or non-spiritual way?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Tue Oct 06, 2020 7:29 pm

Okay sounds good. I like simple :)

Yes there is awake awareness now.
What can it be called in a more mundane, non-nondual or non-spiritual way?
I would just call it being or living. It's the room for everything else to show up in before things show up and it's there so things can show up in it.

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby Bananafish » Tue Oct 06, 2020 8:29 pm

It's the room for everything else to show up in before things show up and it's there so things can show up in it.


Where does this notion come? Is this a description of your direct observation of what is
being referred to? If so, please describe how you observed it.
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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skb
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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Tue Oct 06, 2020 9:53 pm

Where does this notion come?
I'm not sure. Things I've heard plus a recgonizing in my own practice and experience. From experiencing meditating or sitting and trying to watch myself/mind/whatever to see my own workings.
Is this a description of your direct observation of what is
being referred to? If so, please describe how you observed it.
Yeah it's like without thought or anything the world is still there. There's still seeing, hearing, feeling and thoughts all coming in and can't really filter anything.

It's like a letting go of focusing and and allowing my attention to spread across everything equally instead of on anything specific. There sometimes is a really light, somewhat translucent, patterened, out of focus layer that's moving and swirling around just in front of things I look at when I slow down and look this way. If feels like everything just arrives on its own so there's something there and things are coming into it. There's a feeling that arises of a connection to something outside my body and around me.

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby Bananafish » Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:34 am

If feels like everything just arrives on its own so there's something there and things are coming into it. There's a feeling that arises of a connection to something outside my body and around me.

What do you mean when you say "it feels like ... "? Are you referring to a sensation, or rather an image or thought
(inference) about something?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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skb
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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Wed Oct 07, 2020 4:58 pm

What do you mean when you say "it feels like ... "?
for this part
If feels like everything just arrives on its own so there's something there and things are coming into it.
It's not really a feeling, more directly its an observation of what's happening. As I look closer there isn't really any feeling tone to it. Things just come and go one their own. Like hearing I can't filter it out but there isn't really a "feeling" per say than the individual sensations each arising where they are.

for this part
There's a feeling that arises of a connection to something outside my body and around me.
There is a light physical sensation here it's a slight tingling in parts or it seems like it's possible it's just the feeling of the energy or processes in my body and there's a sensation that's hard to pin down or describe that the sensation doesn't necessarily stop at the edges of my body. There's some sort of sense of extension that I don't really have words for to describe.

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Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby Bananafish » Wed Oct 07, 2020 6:41 pm

It's not really a feeling, more directly its an observation of what's happening.
Things just come and go one their own.


Please observe further; is there a place they come from or go to?
If yes, what or where is it? How is that perceived?

If not, could you say, first of all, that they "come and go"?


the sensation doesn't necessarily stop at the edges of my body.


When you don't think about what body is, where are the "edges" of your body?
Where do you end and where do other things start? Has that been a fixed reality, or
arbitrary?
I'm available for Skype or Zoom face to face conversation. Drop me a line and we could arrange
the date.
Email: swinganova@hotmail.co.jp
Modern Koan Project: https://www.facebook.com/groups/628553401153461

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skb
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:49 am

Re: Wanting to know the truth of our reality

Postby skb » Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:49 pm

is there a place they come from or go to?

It's like they arise into and out of my awareness. I'm either not aware of the sensations perceptions etc so I don't really know where they're coming from but they bubble up into a knowing of their existence as a part of my awareness. The perceptions enter the space of my awareness. Like the sounds of traffic I can hear outside appear and fade away. But also there's sensations in the body that arise into awareness and fade out as attention drifts elsewhere.

When you don't think about what body is, where are the "edges" of your body?
Where do you end and where do other things start? Has that been a fixed reality, or
arbitrary?

Looking even closer now when I don't think about it the edges aren't clear. It feels bigger than my body even with eyes open. There's sensations of pressure etc associated with the body but there's also other sensations happening (it's like waves or energy or something — or it slightly seems like being the space around me?) that aren't associated with the body that feel equally me in a way. These edges have seemed like a fixed reality and it seems like a part of me still feels they are but there also is a part of me that's questioning that and see they could be arbitrary.


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