Guide Request

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Vivien
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Re: Guide Request

Postby Vivien » Sat Sep 19, 2020 7:48 am

Hi Tom,

When there is fear or anxiety, don’t try to run away from them. Don’t try to push them aside, or manipulate them, or try to avoid them by doing something else.

What we resist, persists.
What we try to push aside, actually we hold onto.
pushing away = holding onto

Rather, just sit or lay down, and let them be. Just observe the sensations of fear or anxiety. Don’t get involved, just let them be.

You can imagine holding the sensation (fear) with your both hands gently. Not to make them go away, not with the hope that they might change or lessen, rather hold them out of love.

They are here to be felt. They cannot hurt you. You are not those sensations. You are just aware presence knowing them. Just hold them gently, lovingly. Let them be as they are.

I hope this can help.

Vivien
The most profound discoveries arise from questioning the obvious.

Website: https://www.viviennovak.com/

Blog: https://fadingveiling.com/

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restart
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Re: Guide Request

Postby restart » Tue Sep 22, 2020 6:47 pm

Hi Vivien,

Thank you again for the guiding. I have seen what I need to see, and am happy if you archive the conversation as proposed.

Tom

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Vivien
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Location: Australia

Re: Guide Request

Postby Vivien » Tue Sep 22, 2020 11:46 pm

Hi Tom,

This thread cannot be archived since we abruptly finished the conversation. But I understand that you don't want to continue, so I wish you all the best.

Love,
Vivien
The most profound discoveries arise from questioning the obvious.

Website: https://www.viviennovak.com/

Blog: https://fadingveiling.com/

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restart
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Re: Guide Request

Postby restart » Thu Sep 24, 2020 9:16 pm

Hi Vivien,

Thank you for the reply. I am sorry for attempting to close the process, which I again did out of fear. I actually do want to continue the process. One of the reasons I am especially afraid to write to you is because I fear that my words become a self-fulfilling prophecy. As if whatever I write will come back to haunt me. This is hard to face.

I also have difficulties trusting you and the process sometimes. Sometimes thinking that I am being manipulated, or tricked. This can sometimes be very convincing.

That being said, I do see overall progress in feeling more resilient and confident. For example, today I started some very light & careful work again, after taking off a lot of time to process and learn to care for my emotions.

I am not totally clear how the process is intended to continue from here though. If I understand your words on the call, we no longer do daily exchanges & reports, but I can post here when I feel doubts about the process. Is that correct?

I also have one specific question. Which is how to continue with the looking & questions. Because of the strength of emotions, at this moment I am mostly just feeling the feelings that come up (in the way you suggested) and/or using mindfulness noting of what's coming up. A few times a day I spontaneously use various questions to look. It still feels more difficult to question & look than to be mindful, as my emotions are very volatile. And it feels like questioning is not necessary to reveal more layers, which are all coming to the surface anyway. Please let me know though if you see it differently.

Tom

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Vivien
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Location: Australia

Re: Guide Request

Postby Vivien » Fri Sep 25, 2020 12:18 am

Hi Tom,
One of the reasons I am especially afraid to write to you is because I fear that my words become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But our words and thoughts are not that powerful. Words = thoughts. And a thought cannot do anything.
Just notice that only a thought promotes itself to be powerful :) but actually they are just fleeting phenomena without any actual power.
I also have difficulties trusting you and the process sometimes. Sometimes thinking that I am being manipulated, or tricked. This can sometimes be very convincing.
I hear you. This is a pattern that got into you in the past. But you can always questions these kind of thoughts, like:
How do I know that this is true?
Am I absolutely sure that this is true?
Or only just a thought suggests so that you are aware of, and thus is not your making?
That being said, I do see overall progress in feeling more resilient and confident. For example, today I started some very light & careful work again, after taking off a lot of time to process and learn to care for my emotions.
I’m glad to hear that you feel there is some improvement. Just take it slowly, gently and lovingly. You don’t have to force anything.
I am not totally clear how the process is intended to continue from here though. If I understand your words on the call, we no longer do daily exchanges & reports, but I can post here when I feel doubts about the process. Is that correct?
We can do it in any way you like. If you want you can write me daily. Or you just write when you feel like. It’s up to you. If you write to me, I’m going to reply back in about 24 hours. So feel free to write whenever you want to.
I also have one specific question. Which is how to continue with the looking & questions. Because of the strength of emotions, at this moment I am mostly just feeling the feelings that come up (in the way you suggested) and/or using mindfulness noting of what's coming up. A few times a day I spontaneously use various questions to look. It still feels more difficult to question & look than to be mindful, as my emotions are very volatile. And it feels like questioning is not necessary to reveal more layers, which are all coming to the surface anyway. Please let me know though if you see it differently.
My suggestion is twofold. Please continue just to say with any emotion or sensation that is present. Just lovingly hold them, and be with them. They cannot hurt you. It’s not possible. It’s totally safe to feel emotions and sensations. Don’t try to fight them, push them away or manipulate in any way. That would just create a problem. They are here to felt, acknowledged and thus released. These emotions are coming from your past when you weren’t able to feel them. All they want to be felt and accepted.

The other thing I suggest is to check many times (100+) in a day if you are safe here now in this very moment.
Since all sense of lack of safety is coming from thoughts, from a story. But if you just stay with the here-and-now experience, you can notice that you are totally safe here now.

You can ask:
Is it safe here now?

Just notice that in this present moment experience is totally safe. Only the story suggests otherwise.

Vivien
The most profound discoveries arise from questioning the obvious.

Website: https://www.viviennovak.com/

Blog: https://fadingveiling.com/

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restart
Posts: 80
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 7:20 am

Re: Guide Request

Postby restart » Fri Oct 02, 2020 8:44 pm

Hi Vivien,
I’m glad to hear that you feel there is some improvement. Just take it slowly, gently and lovingly. You don’t have to force anything.
This has been helpful. I've taken time off work and of all appointments in my life over the last week. And am only slowly introducing things in, one-by-one, and only if they serve me at this time. This feels like a long overdue process in my life and it is going well. I feel lighter than I ever have before.

There is something that still causes me some fear & anxiety, and which seems to be lurking in the background. That is the feeling that this is all a test or exam. And that I still have yet to prove myself, or perhaps to carry out another task that will be approved by some "expert" before I and my process are "approved". And only after doing this task or passing thist test will I be "done". This is a very bothersome story, which I think is partly holding me back from really sinking in and continuing to move forward. Your advice and perspective on this is appreciated.

Tom

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Vivien
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Location: Australia

Re: Guide Request

Postby Vivien » Sat Oct 03, 2020 4:46 am

Hi Tom,
There is something that still causes me some fear & anxiety, and which seems to be lurking in the background. That is the feeling that this is all a test or exam. And that I still have yet to prove myself, or perhaps to carry out another task that will be approved by some "expert" before I and my process are "approved". And only after doing this task or passing thist test will I be "done". This is a very bothersome story, which I think is partly holding me back from really sinking in and continuing to move forward. Your advice and perspective on this is appreciated.
First, you can investigate if you are thinking the thoughts of being tested, or that there is an exam, then you can look for the person who can be tested at all.

Are you thinking these thoughts?
Are you deciding and choosing to have these thoughts?
If you can see that they are not your doing, then why do you take them so seriously?
Does it matter what thoughts say?
Matters to who / what?

And where is the one that could be tested and approved?
Tom? Where is this Tom here now, in this very moment?

Vivien
The most profound discoveries arise from questioning the obvious.

Website: https://www.viviennovak.com/

Blog: https://fadingveiling.com/

User avatar
restart
Posts: 80
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 7:20 am

Re: Guide Request

Postby restart » Sun Oct 04, 2020 8:26 am

Thanks Vivien! The pointers are very helpful :)


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