"As I said , I feel I decide to do something like ..."get breakfast".
Can you describe the FEELING of deciding to do something, as precisely as you can, without adding anything extra.
No theories, no speculation, no stories, just the raw facts.
Where does the feeling come from?
This feeling, is a thought. I don't catch the self taking ownership, after a decision, but, I cannot find any decision except as a thought......coming from wherever (nothing, nowhere, and gone into nothing, nowhere)
So, I try to make a decision right now, to pick up a book, then, I think I'll decide not to pick it up......Then pick it up......
I try to catch the decision, as something that the mind has taken over just after doing it, but.......I don't find that yet. I do see many thoughts arriving about picking up or not picking up a book.........and , those thoughts are not real. Then there is a real action of feeling the weight of the book as I pick it up.
Ok....I know..... look more here.
Can the center (of this feeling) be located?
no, it has the same (unreal) quality as a memory, anticipated future, daydream. The only difference, which is not 100% of the time, is action is often taken, but not always, after decision type of thought.
but I have the feeling, this awareness, is .....making some decision to eat the leftover cake!
You say that you have a FEELING that awareness is making decision.
And where is this FEELING located in the body?
Nowhere. It is an expression which really means...."I think", or "I have the impression..."...(also meaning, "I think")
Its just a thought. Its not real.
What kind of feeling/sensation is this?
There is no feeling, sensation. I can see thoughts more clearly, as , non existent.....there is no sensation to them. I have to keep looking here, as there is resistance to no decisions.
How does this sensation communicate the information that this is the 'feeling of awareness making decision'?
Well, there is NO sensation.
How do you know that this information is communicated by a sensation/feeling and not a thought?
I don't know that. Our, I should say, it IS a thought. Just a thought.
Can awareness be felt?
no, it cannot be felt. It is feeling, hearing seeing, noticing thoughts. it is experiencing......The experiencing is not a thing to be felt , existing on its own.
I'm daydreaming, then kind of wake up a bit somewhere.
What is it exactly that is daydreaming?
I haven't got an answer here. Then...
Nothing is daydreaming.
What performs the act of daydreaming?
Nothing. Its just ...dreaming. I don't have clarity here. I will look some more.
What ever is typing, sitting here, listening to a dog barking, performs daydreaming, experiences daydreaming.
And what is it that wakes up from it?
Oh, .....just this whatever is typing, daydreams and wakes up.
Is there someone or something moving between two states, daydreaming and waking up?
No, there is just this constant being, always changing.
If you say yes, what that is?
WEll, daydreaming is just another type of illusory thought. It is just thoughts.
And where that is?
This is a very weird answer that it doesn't exist. But the daydreaming and waking up are also just ideas that ....are not real.
I feel confused, I am not clear, and certain of things, but I have questions to look at. I answer, but for sure I feel I don't have answers, and, have more LOOKING to do. I don't answer the questions and assume they are "done".
Thanks for all your time!