Seeking Peace

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Anastacia42
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Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Anastacia42 » Fri Sep 04, 2020 11:43 pm

Hi Sara,

Okay, I see there is a lot going on!

I'm going to give you the first 2 questions because this isn't new to you & it doesn’t take long to answer the first two. although I know people who've meditated on each question for a week.

Life disappoints me.


Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that is true?

How do you react when you believe that thought? Make a list.


Loving
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 12:27 am

Life disappoints me.
Is it true?
First reaction, yes.
Can you absolutely know that is true?
No.
How do you react when you believe that thought? Make a list.
I feel angry and frustrated. I feel like a victim and act like one, I want sympathy and special attention from others. I try to control and manipulate others and situations. I judge other people instead of accepting and loving them. I do the same to myself. I constantly replay past situations that hurt, over and over in my mind. I fear the future and see images of my worst case scenarios playing out. I take life very personally and make everything about "me".

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Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 12:27 am

Life disappoints me.
Is it true?
First reaction, yes.
Can you absolutely know that is true?
No.
How do you react when you believe that thought? Make a list.
I feel angry and frustrated. I feel like a victim and act like one, I want sympathy and special attention from others. I try to control and manipulate others and situations. I judge other people instead of accepting and loving them. I do the same to myself. I constantly replay past situations that hurt, over and over in my mind. I fear the future and see images of my worst case scenarios playing out. I take life very personally and make everything about "me".

User avatar
Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 12:27 am

Life disappoints me.
Is it true?
First reaction, yes.
Can you absolutely know that is true?
No.
How do you react when you believe that thought? Make a list.
I feel angry and frustrated. I feel like a victim and act like one, I want sympathy and special attention from others. I try to control and manipulate others and situations. I judge other people instead of accepting and loving them. I do the same to myself. I constantly replay past situations that hurt, over and over in my mind. I fear the future and see images of my worst case scenarios playing out. I take life very personally and make everything about "me".

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Anastacia42
Posts: 1961
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 3:04 am
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Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Anastacia42 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 2:20 pm

Good morning,

I see you had a little trouble with our server. They're working on it.

Still in Q3...

A. Whose business are you in when you believe this thought. "Life disappoints me?" (yours, god's/life's or someone else's? )

(and when you're over there in their biz, who is taking care of yours? Of course, no self also means no business!)

B. Is this thought peaceful or stressful?

C. Who are you *afraid* you'd be without this thought?

D. Can you find a single truly peaceful reason to believe this thought?

Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 6:44 pm

Hi Stacy,

Sorry about the double posts!
A. Whose business are you in when you believe this thought. "Life disappoints me?" (yours, god's/life's or someone else's? )
I'm in god/life's business or other peoples when I'm thinking "they" are disappointing me.
(and when you're over there in their biz, who is taking care of yours? Of course, no self also means no business!)
No one, but yes also what would "my" business be? Looks like it's just thought that creates the illusion of it. Just here to experience.
B. Is this thought peaceful or stressful?
It's definitely stressful.
C. Who are you *afraid* you'd be without this thought?
Hmmm so I was doing a worksheet yesterday that kind of brought this up for me. There's a fear of letting god, others and even myself "off the hook" by not holding onto my anger and judgments ect. I'm "afraid" of being taken advantage of and being seen as weak (even though no one is doing anything to me in this moment except thoughts in my head). Those thoughts are just attached to the identity of a self that doesn't exist so obviously its chronically dissatisfied because it feeds on that. If life arose and there wasn't dissatisfaction, what would it exist for? There would be nothing to fight for or against. I see how insane it is. The fear is really around losing this "self" that I think I am.
D. Can you find a single truly peaceful reason to believe this thought?
No.

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Anastacia42
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Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Anastacia42 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 7:17 pm

All good.

Yes, OMG! What if you let "Life' off the hook? or others? or "self?"

Chaos! Catastrophe! Unimaginable!

But.... if no "self" ever existed, if no blame, then what?

Q4... Who would you be without this story of "Life disappoints me?"

Check.

Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Sun Sep 06, 2020 8:35 am

I know right?!?

Then what? Just this. Just right now. I know, but I still feel resistance and contraction here. Just trying to relax into it with curiosity.
Who would you be without this story of "Life disappoints me"?
I'd be like the stream. Just flowing with the elements. Just experiencing life or with life. Life can only be disappointing or satisfying when I'm thinking of the past. So, it can only exist as a thought. Disappointment itself is a concept made up of thoughts. It can't exist in the now and the only thing I can know is now.

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Anastacia42
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Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Anastacia42 » Sun Sep 06, 2020 3:16 pm

Good morning,

Mostly your answers are "correct," but they're coming from thinking, not LOOKING. Can you tell that?

Stop paying attention to thinking & look.
I know, but I still feel resistance and contraction here. Just trying to relax into it with curiosity.
Good approach.

What are you thinking when you feel this contraction?

Is a different thought popping up? That happens sometimes. A "yeah, but. . ."


Try to stay with this first thought and answer. who would you be without this thought?


Loving
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Mon Sep 07, 2020 8:02 pm

Good afternoon!

Yes, I can definitely see that it's coming from thinking. I often feel like my understanding is only intellectual and I struggle to look, without using my thinking to direct it. Especially when it comes to questioning my thoughts...any suggestions? I see an image in my head of the person I think I'd be without the thought, but it's not direct experience. I'm probably missing something here.
What are you thinking when you feel this contraction?
Is a different thought popping up? That happens sometimes. A "yeah, but. . ."
When doing this the other night, the thought "he hurt me" came up and brought with it the spiral of anger, fear, self pity ect. This is the one that really hooks me, at the moment, but I'm sure if it wasn't this one it would be another one. Following this, the thought "I'm never going to get this, because I can't let go" came up and further contraction and frustration came.

Try to stay with this first thought and answer. who would you be without this thought?
Without the thought "he hurt me", which seemed to return full force after a letter I received on Saturday, I'm so free to move through life without the heaviness of this victim story. I feel space, love and compassion. I feel excitement and joy about things to come. Life feels so sweet.

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Anastacia42
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Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Anastacia42 » Mon Sep 07, 2020 9:36 pm

Hi

Yes to all you wrote.

But we're on, "life disappoints me." We can do "he hurt me." later or you can do that with your other facilitator. This direct inquiry into any fears that are coming up here can be an exception to dropping other methods while inquiring here.

Q4 Who would you be without the thought, "life disappoints me?"

Also, are you still doing sessions with a Work facilitator, these take a long time in this forum, where live. you can get through a whole Worksheet in a couple of hours.

It is also possible to see no self with The Work There is a me. Is it true? (I'm not starting that inquiry, just pointing it out.)

If you do The Work elsewhere, we could focus on looking. But let"s finish the one we started.

Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

User avatar
Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Tue Sep 08, 2020 4:34 am

Hi Stacy,

Sorry, I misunderstood what you were asking for. Yes, I am still working with a facilitator pretty regularly and will continue to work on this with her. It is definitely much easier to do the work in person/over the phone. I would like to focus on looking here, with you. However, this inquiry has brought somethings to my attention that will be helpful moving forward with both.
Q4 Who would you be without the thought, "life disappoints me?"
When sitting in this question what comes to me is that i'd be focused and present with what I'm doing. I feel relaxed and free of fear. I accept life and other people and myself as they are, because they couldn't be any different, and I'm not comparing.

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Anastacia42
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Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Anastacia42 » Tue Sep 08, 2020 1:34 pm

Good morning,

Good. Let's finish this up & then do the Stream Exercise, then. Taking that post with your fears & doubts to your facilitator would be good.

Please turn around "life disappoints me."

It has 3 words so there is a minimum of 5 possible turnarounds. The opposite of each word wondered a time plus the "my thinking" turn around plus the Yahoo turn around where we find the goodness in the original thought with 3 proofs of how it's a good thing.

Start with any of them or post them all at once. Your choice.

Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

User avatar
Sara2
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Sara2 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 8:06 pm

I disappoint me.
I'm disappointed in myself for the decisions "I" have made and the results of those that "I" experience. I'm disappointed I still get so hooked on my thoughts. I cause my own suffering by having expectations about how things are "supposed" to be.

I disappoint life.
I don't think that life/reality can be disappointed.

Life satisfies me.
In this moment, sitting on the couch, in my home, with my dog and listening to the wind chime and drinking a warm cup of coffee. Life satisfies my physical needs and always has.

Life doesn't disappoint me.
I can see it's only when thoughts of the "not now" come in and decide they don't like what has happened, is happening, or what might happen in the future. My expectations about life disappoint me.

I'm sure what the 5th one is....

My thinking disappoints me.
This is more true, yes. My thinking is the only thing that can really affect me. Actually, it's not even the thinking that's the problem it's that I believe the thoughts.

The goodness in the thought "life disappoints me" .
It gives me the motivation to investigate my thinking/expectations.
I'm kinda stuck here...

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Anastacia42
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Re: Seeking Peace

Postby Anastacia42 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 11:47 pm

Okay, so far, so good.
The goodness in the thought "life disappoints me" .
It gives me the motivation to investigate my thinking/expectations.
I'm kinda stuck here...
Yahoo! Life disappoints me.

The question is how is that a good thing? What kinds of good have come out of being disappointed?

How might you be a better person for having gotten through being disappointed?

Have things ever turned out unexpectedly better after a disappointment?

What else? Just 3 proofs.

How are you doing with the original idea after that? Does it still seem true?


If you're complete with this one & you'll do the others on your own or with your facilitator. then go back to where we left off with the stream exercise. I think you replied to that a little bit.

Let me know how that goes/ went.

Loving
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris


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