Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

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DC415
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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby DC415 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 9:30 pm

Warissem,

A very intense week. I share a bit about it in my response. And I feel even more keen on seeing through it all!

You commented:
there is experience, yes.
there is a knowing of this experience, yes.
the experience and the knowing of it come at once and are not separated.
there is no you experiencing, a thought cannot have experiences.

Are there any doubts at all about seeing through the illusion of self?

Feel free to discuss all what is coming up about the seeing of no self.
I have no doubts that there is no one here experiencing anything, there is only experiencing, now. This has been seen clearly - my head is in the tigers mouth as Ramana said. There is no going back to being asleep.

Yet, there is still what I call "cloud cover' that seems to block the Sun of Truth. This cloud cover is made thoughts and conditioning still believed that must be seen through OR maybe something must get fully exhausted from believing in these thoughts. And yes that is only a thought but it is the best way I can describe it what feels like an oscillation away from seeing clearly in every moment.

When I sit quietly and look - it is apparent that's all an illusion. Then something happens like being pulled into some drama. By itself is just another experience but if my conditioning is triggered in a certain way, it feels personal again. It does not last as long as it once did but it still is happening. All I can do when that happens is do inquiry or find a moment of silence to see through the thoughts that I have allowed to cause mischief. And yes I do see that that is still someone here trying to get it and that one is NOT real. That has been relaxed a great deal but still plays.

Here is an example, this week a huge drama unfolded in a spiritual community I am a part of and the primary teacher was both reacting and was being projected on big time. It was just a play, a drama on the stage. Yet, this body-mind got pulled into it and felt compelled to be of help. It was a real firestorm - lots of beliefs about how awakened teacher and self-aware human beings should behave as well as what behaviors they should engage or don't engage - confronted me. That was all seen for what it was - thoughts. During it all, something remained present and I stayed in the moment for the most part, without much effort. While serving happened, actions were taken and intense conversations unfolded - there was no attachment to the outcome while the desire to be present and of service was highlighted. Most of the time, I experienced that I was doing nothing - it was merely unfolding yet there were moments of collapsing back into the personal. There is the experience of being like a rubber band. The experience comes... reaction is triggered.. it is seen... and then it quiets down. I realize I still look at my body-mind-emotional reactions - feeling something should not be reacting this way or that way. On the human side, much skillfulness still needs to unfold. I am told that is not my personal responsibility but there are times when I resist that truth. That said, I feel far less attachments to particular outcome and find it easier to recognize I am not any of it. It is truly hard to describe and I am sure you see some errors in my looking.

David

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warissem
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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Sun Sep 06, 2020 4:10 pm

Hi David
I have no doubts that there is no one here experiencing anything, there is only experiencing, now. This has been seen clearly - my head is in the tigers mouth as Ramana said. There is no going back to being asleep.
Good. It is not your head and there is no one to go back asleep.

Yet, there is still what I call "cloud cover' that seems to block the Sun of Truth. This cloud cover is made thoughts and conditioning still believed that must be seen through OR maybe something must get fully exhausted from believing in these thoughts. And yes that is only a thought but it is the best way I can describe it what feels like an oscillation away from seeing clearly in every moment.

Yes, there are still thoughts arising and beliefs going on but they are not your thoughts nor your beliefs. The seeing of no self is just the beginning of an adventure. You know, during long years there are conditionings and tendencies. These cannot be dropped instantly. Anyway when the seeing of no self happens, the process is on going.

When I sit quietly and look - it is apparent that's all an illusion. Then something happens like being pulled into some drama. By itself is just another experience but if my conditioning is triggered in a certain way, it feels personal again. It does not last as long as it once did but it still is happening. All I can do when that happens is do inquiry or find a moment of silence to see through the thoughts that I have allowed to cause mischief. And yes I do see that that is still someone here trying to get it and that one is NOT real. That has been relaxed a great deal but still plays.
You can notice that “being pulled into some drama” is happening as thoughts.
“By itself is just another experience” : another thought nourishing the first thought.
“the thoughts that I have allowed to cause mischief.” : can you really control thoughts?
“And yes I do see that is still someone here trying to get it and that one is NOT real.” Can you tell me where this “someone” is standing or is it just a thought?


In your example, you described a scene. About the “awakened teachers” as you write it : 1) there is no one to be awakened, there is only awareness, consciousness already awaken. 2) The behavior of teachers are the same of all human beings. There is no ideal. About the flip flop occurrences between being quiet and still versus reacting as a person, it is ordinary. The flip flop will cease with the disappearance of the ego (die before dying as it is said) or the disappearance of the body. But there is one thing to add : when you have seen that the self, I, me, is an illusion, you are not concerned by the ego, the person. Here you are the screen and the ego is a playing character on the screen. About a “personal responsibility” : this is all about thoughts, there is a thought of a person, and a thought of responsibility. There is still what you call “responsibility”, that is what has to be done rightly but it is not yours. Life is taking care of itself.

David, are you the doer? Are you the experiencer? What are you responsible for ?
What are you seeking ? Is there a seeker ?


Give a separate answer to each question in blue


Best wishes, Warissem

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warissem
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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Sun Sep 06, 2020 4:10 pm

Hi David
I have no doubts that there is no one here experiencing anything, there is only experiencing, now. This has been seen clearly - my head is in the tigers mouth as Ramana said. There is no going back to being asleep.
Good. It is not your head and there is no one to go back asleep.

Yet, there is still what I call "cloud cover' that seems to block the Sun of Truth. This cloud cover is made thoughts and conditioning still believed that must be seen through OR maybe something must get fully exhausted from believing in these thoughts. And yes that is only a thought but it is the best way I can describe it what feels like an oscillation away from seeing clearly in every moment.

Yes, there are still thoughts arising and beliefs going on but they are not your thoughts nor your beliefs. The seeing of no self is just the beginning of an adventure. You know, during long years there are conditionings and tendencies. These cannot be dropped instantly. Anyway when the seeing of no self happens, the process is on going.

When I sit quietly and look - it is apparent that's all an illusion. Then something happens like being pulled into some drama. By itself is just another experience but if my conditioning is triggered in a certain way, it feels personal again. It does not last as long as it once did but it still is happening. All I can do when that happens is do inquiry or find a moment of silence to see through the thoughts that I have allowed to cause mischief. And yes I do see that that is still someone here trying to get it and that one is NOT real. That has been relaxed a great deal but still plays.
You can notice that “being pulled into some drama” is happening as thoughts.
“By itself is just another experience” : another thought nourishing the first thought.
“the thoughts that I have allowed to cause mischief.” : can you really control thoughts?
“And yes I do see that is still someone here trying to get it and that one is NOT real.” Can you tell me where this “someone” is standing or is it just a thought?


In your example, you described a scene. About the “awakened teachers” as you write it : 1) there is no one to be awakened, there is only awareness, consciousness already awaken. 2) The behavior of teachers are the same of all human beings. There is no ideal. About the flip flop occurrences between being quiet and still versus reacting as a person, it is ordinary. The flip flop will cease with the disappearance of the ego (die before dying as it is said) or the disappearance of the body. But there is one thing to add : when you have seen that the self, I, me, is an illusion, you are not concerned by the ego, the person. Here you are the screen and the ego is a playing character on the screen. About a “personal responsibility” : this is all about thoughts, there is a thought of a person, and a thought of responsibility. There is still what you call “responsibility”, that is what has to be done rightly but it is not yours. Life is taking care of itself.

David, are you the doer? Are you the experiencer? What are you responsible for ?
What are you seeking ? Is there a seeker ?


Give a separate answer to each question in blue


Best wishes, Warissem

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DC415
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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby DC415 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 1:46 pm

Warissem,

Thank you - all you said 'makes sense' and this dialogue has been very helpful. Let me respond to your questions.
can you really control thoughts?
Lord knows I have tried. I attempted to use the mind to heal the mind. This just increased a sense of separation more. All I can do is inquire into the one who appears to think - to challenge it or as Ramana said 'using a thorn to remove a thorn.' As I have inquired, two things have occurred in experience. 1. I have seen my attachment to thoughts arising thin out - there has been a lessening of identification. 2. Maybe the same thing, I experience more spaciousness. Again, I know there is no one here experiencing but that is the best way I can put it.
Can you tell me where this “someone” is standing or is it just a thought?
Currently, in my experience, there still appears to be this localized self taking up space. It appears to be in a body and interact with 'others.' When I believe there is someone trying to get it, the separate self feels real. In those moments, it feels like awareness is only conscious of the body and space inside it and around it.
when you have seen that the self, I, me, is an illusion, you are not concerned by the ego, the person. Here you are the screen and the ego is a playing character on the screen.
This is not one of your questions but it stuck out in your message. I can see there is still times when the concern for the ego's reality. For example, I have had a sexual addiction, that has caused much suffering for me and others. As I have experienced the reality there is no individual self more and more, the addiction has also waned but it still rears its head. There is a desire to be clear of it fully. I clearly see that the addiction and the addict are thoughts - yet the desire (thought) to be clear of those things still appears and is identified with. There is also a challenge with livelihood and work. Dealing with those thoughts also can pull me back into identification. I do have many more moments of seeing this is just what's unfolding, like a movie playing out but these are still areas where much inquiry is happening. There are also moments where I clearly see i have nothing to do with this, it is merely a projection onto the 'screen' and I am That. However, this is where identification still has a priority in my consciousness.
David, are you the doer? Are you the experiencer? What are you responsible for ?
This relates to what I shared above. As I said, there are times when it feels David is the doer or must be the doer to resolve certain 'issues.' There is the thought "I want to be in integrity with myself and others" or "I am exhausted from this small self-absorbtion" And I have growing moments when I see there is nothing happening, there is no doer and life is just unfolding as it is. It appears the intensity of attachment to believing certain thoughts is falling away. I did nothing to make that happen, it is just seen that way.
What are you seeking ? Is there a seeker ?
The seeker is exhausted and for the most part seeking has ended. More and more, there is the experience that life is unfolding on life's terms. I am more present to what is unfolding now and there is less identification with someone who it is happening to. In short, there is far less seeking energy and efforts. I see there is nothing to seek, the movie is just playing on the screen. There is a thinning out of a sense of seeking but it still active. For example, there are times when inquiry comes from curiosity, patience and without agenda. I am just looking at thoughts and asking to whom do they arise or exploring the validity of thought without attachment. At other times, I see I am inquiring to try to get rid of something. This is clearly orienting as a seeker. But of course in the end, there is no seeker and nothing to seek. There is no arrival to some realization. There is nothing to realize.

Thank you - David

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Thu Sep 10, 2020 6:13 pm

Hi David

Lord knows I have tried. I attempted to use the mind to heal the mind. This just increased a sense of separation more. All I can do is inquire into the one who appears to think - to challenge it or as Ramana said 'using a thorn to remove a thorn.' As I have inquired, two things have occurred in experience. 1. I have seen my attachment to thoughts arising thin out - there has been a lessening of identification. 2. Maybe the same thing, I experience more spaciousness. Again, I know there is no one here experiencing but that is the best way I can put it.

What is the mind outside of thoughts?
Is there one who is thinking or are thoughts just arising? Is there “I” doing the inquiry?
Is really an “I” attached to thoughts? Is there a you experiencing spaciousness or is it just spaciousness? LOOK.

Currently, in my experience, there still appears to be this localized self taking up space. It appears to be in a body and interact with 'others.' When I believe there is someone trying to get it, the separate self feels real. In those moments, it feels like awareness is only conscious of the body and space inside it and around it.

Is it really a localized self in direct experience ? Are you taking the sense of being to be a self ? Are you taking the aliveness of a body to be a self? Is there a self inter acting with other selves ? Do you SEE a self in your body and in other bodies ? How about awareness : can you describe awareness in your own words?

This relates to what I shared above. As I said, there are times when it feels David is the doer or must be the doer to resolve certain 'issues.' There is the thought "I want to be in integrity with myself and others" or "I am exhausted from this small self-absorbtion" And I have growing moments when I see there is nothing happening, there is no doer and life is just unfolding as it is. It appears the intensity of attachment to believing certain thoughts is falling away. I did nothing to make that happen, it is just seen that way.

Will that which is reading these words right now change if the name David is replaced by John or Ahmed or Baba
or whatever ?

The seeker is exhausted and for the most part seeking has ended. More and more, there is the experience that life is unfolding on life's terms. I am more present to what is unfolding now and there is less identification with someone who it is happening to. In short, there is far less seeking energy and efforts. I see there is nothing to seek, the movie is just playing on the screen. There is a thinning out of a sense of seeking but it still active. For example, there are times when inquiry comes from curiosity, patience and without agenda. I am just looking at thoughts and asking to whom do they arise or exploring the validity of thought without attachment. At other times, I see I am inquiring to try to get rid of something. This is clearly orienting as a seeker. But of course in the end, there is no seeker and nothing to seek. There is no arrival to some realization. There is nothing to realize.

In the end of the text you said “there is no seeker and nothing to seek” then there is no exhausted seeker. It is good to do the inquiry “to whom are thoughts arising” but you have to LOOK at that “whom” or “what”. What is it ? A thought, a sensation, an object of the senses or nothing in particular. Looking is the inquiry not the question in itself. Looking is what I am pushing you to do during this dialog. I always say, don’t go to thoughts. Remember that all thoughts are distraction.
I want you to differentiate between awareness, this presence, consciousness, the knowing principle and what is called David, I, me, …

What comes up when I say : you think that a seeker is looking for truth, in reality it is awareness manifesting as a seeking experience.

Best wishes, Warissem

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby DC415 » Fri Sep 11, 2020 1:57 pm

Warissem,

You ask:
What is the mind outside of thoughts?
Is there one who is thinking or are thoughts just arising? Is there “I” doing the inquiry?
Is really an “I” attached to thoughts? Is there a you experiencing spaciousness or is it just spaciousness? LOOK.
At the most basic level, all mind is - is thoughts. My experience says that thoughts just arrive. Yet, there does appear to be a particular 'I' that's having them. No other person around me, has the same set of thoughts arising. There appears to be an individual where a particular set of thoughts arise in forms of reactions, stories, strategies - that seem 'unique' to others around me. And something is doing inquiry and it appears separate from others. As for who is experiencing spaciousness - again the spaciousness I experience when I 'drop in' to it, appears localized. And I can meet others who have different experiences with spaciousness - more or less - than this me. I assume as you challenge this through inquiry, there is a breaking through point when it is seen there is no others but that experience has not happened here. All I can do is look and challenging the thinking that is happening here. I do sense that there is no others but again, I have not had the direct experience there is no other.
Is it really a localized self in direct experience ? Are you taking the sense of being to be a self ? Are you taking the aliveness of a body to be a self? Is there a self inter acting with other selves ? Do you SEE a self in your body and in other bodies ? How about awareness : can you describe awareness in your own words?
Again, I don't experience being any where else other than 'here.' Here is experienced as being localized. I see that this body is contained within awareness, so it is clear I am not the body/self. I do feel the aliveness you mention that is also contained within awareness - it is the sense of being, here, now. Other body-minds appear to have varying levels of awareness of this. Other bodies are seen as unique, animated expressions. There is a belief we are all the one expressing in various forms but there is still the experience of separateness from others.

Awareness is the sense of watching the show. It is what is experiencing it all. It is what is conscious of it all. I realize it is the same awareness operating in all forms but the realization of this is theoretical to me. I have come to believe, maybe incorrectly, that as I do rest in awareness, look and do inquiry that the illusion will be seen through but there is a sense there are stages of a rise in consciousness to see through it. But again, that is conjecture for me at this point.
In the end of the text you said “there is no seeker and nothing to seek” then there is no exhausted seeker. It is good to do the inquiry “to whom are thoughts arising” but you have to LOOK at that “whom” or “what”. What is it ? A thought, a sensation, an object of the senses or nothing in particular. Looking is the inquiry not the question in itself. Looking is what I am pushing you to do during this dialog. I always say, don’t go to thoughts. Remember that all thoughts are distraction.
I want you to differentiate between awareness, this presence, consciousness, the knowing principle and what is called David, I, me, …
Yes, I get there is no seeker, not even an exhausted one. It is clear that this seeker is the mind that is tired of the habit of seeking. I am clear the 'whom' or 'what' are just thoughts. But there appears to be a kind of magnetic quality to the thoughts, beliefs and stories that draws me back into them. As I said before, this magnetism appears to be thoughts that are conjoined with feelings and sensations in the body that make it seem real. I have had moments of breaking free of this - clearly seeing there is no one here but it does not last long. Clearly more looking needs to happen to see through this.
What comes up when I say : you think that a seeker is looking for truth, in reality it is awareness manifesting as a seeking experience.
That comment resonates. I can see it is awareness having a seeking experience or feeling thoughts are magnetized to sensations/feelings or not 'getting it', etc.

Warmest Regards, David

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Fri Sep 11, 2020 4:43 pm

Hi David

You are in front of the screen. There is a thought of a chair. The concept "chair" is pointing to an object which is called a chair, we can describe it, make a drawing of it. Ok ? There is a thought "I", does it point to an object or whatever? If so, describe what it is pointing to, like you do for a chair. Take your time to look to this "I". Don't go to thoughts.

Warissem

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby DC415 » Tue Sep 15, 2020 12:27 pm

Warissem,
There is a thought "I", does it point to an object or whatever? If so, describe what it is pointing to, like you do for a chair. Take your time to look to this "I". Don't go to thoughts.
I have taken a few days to examine your question.

In short, I cannot find an "I" other than in thoughts. When I rest and look, there is only a felt sense of presence or awareness.

At first, I could not go beyond the body as something that can be called "I." But every time I looked into this, nothing was found to be this "I" - the body is contained 'within' something that is felt, seen, heard, tasted, smelled. But even those senses are seen by something greater. To be honest, I do not know what that something is.

David

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Tue Sep 15, 2020 8:04 pm

Hi David

I have taken a few days to examine your question.

In short, I cannot find an "I" other than in thoughts. When I rest and look, there is only a felt sense of presence or awareness.
Yes, it is a good observation.

At first, I could not go beyond the body as something that can be called "I." But every time I looked into this, nothing was found to be this "I" - the body is contained 'within' something that is felt, seen, heard, tasted, smelled. But even those senses are seen by something greater. To be honest, I do not know what that something is.

Is the body contained within something that is felt, seen, heard, tasted, smelled ?

The body is in space. If you are speaking about That which knows the body, this does not need senses. There is a sense of being, of aliveness. When you wake up in the morning, you know that you are aware and alive : it does not need senses.

You said “senses are seen by something greater” :yes, we don’t know if it is greater but we can say it is subtler. It is behind the senses, it knows the senses like it knows thoughts or sensations. When you have a deaf ear, it is known, when you have a myopia, it is known. You said that you don’t know what that something is : that‘s the best answer you can give from the mind because it is beyond the mind. That “something” which is not a thing knows the thoughts and is subtler than a thought. It is what is called awareness, consciousness or whatever. Are you looking from this place?
How do you see David from this place ? Is there a separate self or a you ?

You are close.
Warissem

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby DC415 » Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:49 am

Warissem,

Thanks again for your support. You ask:
Is the body contained within something that is felt, seen, heard, tasted, smelled ?
No, as I looked, both the body and the senses are contained within awareness or the 'aliveness' you also mention. The senses appear to be portals of experience that seems to be part of the body-mind experience. It is through the senses that the body/mind is experienced. All this is seen by awareness.
You said that you don’t know what that something is : that‘s the best answer you can give from the mind because it is beyond the mind. That “something” which is not a thing knows the thoughts and is subtler than a thought. It is what is called awareness, consciousness or whatever. Are you looking from this place?
This is helpful and yes there is something that sees everything that is beyond thinking. The one that does not know, is still the mind. This distinction is helpful because as you point out, there are times I am still looking for answers from the mind, rather than through direct experience. The mind seems to have its own quality of being aware. There is something beyond this -an aliveness or sense of existing that is more subtle.
How do you see David from this place ? Is there a separate self or a you ?
David is a series of concepts. He is made up by thought, interpretation, stories. When believed there is separation. This story has been reinforced by 'others' who relate to the apparent body-mind that is called David. But these others are also thoughts that are contained within consciousness. It is as if I am in a house of mirrors - where others are a reflection of the same awareness that appear separate. I sense that what every is believed about this 'David' is reflected out and back. Consciousness is the mirror, not the reflections. What gets reflected is mind. That said, there is a stickiness in the belief that the reflections are real and the drama that unfolds in these reflections are still perceived as 'real.' The drama that emits from the reflection 'feels' real, even though there are times this illusion is seen through. I am realizing the increased importance of orienting from direct experience until something is seen through to break the spell.

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Thu Sep 17, 2020 9:12 pm

Hi David

I am realizing the increased importance of orienting from direct experience until something is seen through to break the spell.

There is no one to realize anything, there is only what is going on here now. Is there any spell to break ?

Warissem

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby DC415 » Sun Sep 20, 2020 8:11 pm

There is no one to realize anything, there is only what is going on here now. Is there any spell to break ?
Warissem,

I do understand that there is no one to break free, David does not ultimately exist, etc.

And yes this thought "the spell must break" is just that, it is something to challenge. There is still the experience that consciousness is waking up to itself through this experience. There is the experience, something is remembering who it is - even though it really is not lost or forgotten.

That said, I do need to examine this thought of breaking through the 'spell" and see through it. Thank you.

David

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Mon Sep 21, 2020 2:04 pm

Hi David


Can you speak about the changes which have occurred from the moment you came in this forum and now?

Are you clear about what is here and now? Do you see that there is no relation with you or a separate entity?
Do you see clearly that appearances are unfolding, thoughts are arising, sensations are happening without you?

Have you seen through you ? means that there is no you to see through, there never was a you and never it will be.

Best wishes

Warissem

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby DC415 » Fri Sep 25, 2020 1:59 pm

Warissem,

Thank you and let me respond to your questions
Can you speak about the changes which have occurred from the moment you came in this forum and now?
The dialogue has been very helpful. I am clearer who I am and who I am not. I have had more moments of relaxing as I am - awareness. I have had moments of seeing through more clearly. I also recognize what ever comes up to tell me I am separate, is just mind play and for the most part I see it for what it is, just chatter of mind that has been conditioned to believe in the personal self. In some ways this is a subtle shift, in other moments, there is not sense of anyone here that needs to be free or to do anything to be free.
Are you clear about what is here and now? Do you see that there is no relation with you or a separate entity?
Do you see clearly that appearances are unfolding, thoughts are arising, sensations are happening without you?
I see that there is just experience unfolding, there is no one having it. There is also the observer watching it yet there is something beyond this observer that is unaffected by the experience. And yes, I see it is all happening and the small i has nothing to do with it. And yet thoughts are still believed that says "I must take responsibility" but it seems that's part of the experience - in the grand scheme of things, there is no separate entity to take responsibility - only the appearance of someone attempting to take some action to create some outcome. For example, Covid has really hurt my business... I may have to get a job - so I am taking actions in that direction. There is still someone working on overcoming an addiction - progress appears to happen, more efforts are made to strengthen the experience of 'recovery' but again it is also seen that no one is doing any of it, efforts appear to unfold moment-to-moment without me doing anything.
Have you seen through you ? means that there is no you to see through, there never was a you and never it will be.
Yes and no to be honest. There are moments i clearly see through this false one. This is experienced more strongly since we have engaged here. And yet there are moments of watching what's unfolding in all the chaos in the world today - feeling a desire to take charge of things in a way that relieves an arising discomfort with feeling "out of moves" or not knowing 'what to do.' But that is also seen for what it is, a moment of old conditioned thinking arising, taking over and being believed.

Warmest Regards, David

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Re: Ready To See Clearly and Rest As I Am

Postby warissem » Sun Sep 27, 2020 5:35 pm

Hi David

The dialogue has been very helpful. I am clearer who I am and who I am not. I have had more moments of relaxing as I am - awareness. I have had moments of seeing through more clearly. I also recognize what ever comes up to tell me I am separate, is just mind play and for the most part I see it for what it is, just chatter of mind that has been conditioned to believe in the personal self. In some ways this is a subtle shift, in other moments, there is not sense of anyone here that needs to be free or to do anything to be free.
Yes.

I see that there is just experience unfolding, there is no one having it.

Yes

There is also the observer watching it

Have you seen really an observer watching experience ? or is it just a thought about an observer?

yet there is something beyond this observer that is unaffected by the experience.

This sentence is only thoughts. All what is said is not known through the five senses. Yes there are experiences and a knowing of them, there is no you doing the knowing.

And yes, I see it is all happening and the small i has nothing to do with it.
I can admit that you used “I” to the concern of communication but you added a “small i”. Have you seen an “I” and a “small i“ in direct experience? Can a thought “I” see or do something?

And yet thoughts are still believed that says "I must take responsibility" but it seems that's part of the experience - in the grand scheme of things, there is no separate entity to take responsibility –
Yes

only the appearance of someone attempting to take some action to create some outcome.
Is it really an appearance or a thought about someone attempting ….?

For example, Covid has really hurt my business... I may have to get a job - so I am taking actions in that direction.
Is it your business, does “I” or “you” have a business? Is an “I” looking for a job or taking any actions?

There is still someone working on overcoming an addiction - progress appears to happen, more efforts are made to strengthen the experience of 'recovery' but again it is also seen that no one is doing any of it, efforts appear to unfold moment-to-moment without me doing anything.
Are you really seeing someone in direct experience or all what you say is a thought?
You need to look at the habit of putting a subject before a verb. Raining instead of it is raining, there is working on… instead of someone is working on… Seeing is happening instead of I see. Walking is happening instead of I walk.

Yes and no to be honest. There are moments i clearly see through this false one. This is experienced more strongly since we have engaged here. And yet there are moments of watching what's unfolding in all the chaos in the world today -
Seeing through the illusion of a separate self is not experience. Whatever experience fades away in minutes, hours, days or weeks, it does not last for ever. This seeing is a knowing : it is illustrated by the story of the rope : a man was walking on twilight in the evening. He saw a snake in a basket and froze in fear. A sage passing by saw the man frozen and asked him : why are you afraid like this? He, this is a snake in the basket? The sage directs a pocket light on the basket an said : look don’t be afraid, it is only a rope. The man looked at the basket. At the moment he sees a rope, the fear and the snake disappeared.
It is the same for the separate self : like the snake it never existed in the first place. The ignorance of our true nature makes us believe that there is a me, you, … The looking is necessary to see that there is no you in the first place, there is only awareness. Awareness is not personal.

The world is not of your concern. Here we are looking for you. Yes there are thoughts and feelings about the world, there is knowing of these but they are not happening to you.

feeling a desire to take charge of things in a way that relieves an arising discomfort with feeling "out of moves" or not knowing 'what to do.' But that is also seen for what it is, a moment of old conditioned thinking arising, taking over and being believed.
You have seen that it is an old habit of thinking. Habits and conditionings will be here after seeing through the illusion of a separate self. There is a work to be done and there are groups in facebook which can help you.

Is there a decision maker ?
Is there someone having free will?
Do you still believe that you are responsible for things happening ?


Best wishes

Warissem


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