YOU like taking vitamins, or THOUGHTS ABOUT liking taking vitamins show up, thus taking vitamins happen?
No I don't decide to take the vitamins because there is no controller that can be found. Yes thoughts about taking vitamins to stay healthy come out of no-where. Then vitamins are taken - yes that's what happens when I look.
Do YOU do various breathing exercises, or breathing exercises just happen?
No I don't do them. I've been looking for a controller again but cant find one. A thought saying: you'll feel good if you do the breathing exercises comes up along with some emotion/impulse. Looking again and again I cant find a controller or decider.
Do YOU like the thought of being physically fit and not aging too fast, or THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘being fit and not liking aging too fast’ appear frequently, therefore exercising and caring after the body happens?
Yes the thoughts just appear - there might be a feeling of tiredness or low mood followed by another thought/image of me feeling more energetic and happier after doing the breathing exercises, then an impulse to do them. There is a physical contraction in the body - which is labelled as good in this case. It comes with a thought something like - lets do this. And the image of feeling energetic and in a good mood still there.
During this the I thought is present more strongly.
But yes when I look I see that the thoughts pop up out of no-where
I feel bad/tired (words and images)
I don't like it (words and physical contractions labelled as bad and emotions.)
How can I change it.
The breathing exercises usually work.
Lets do it.
The thought lets do it comes up automatically - along with physical contractions.
Looking after the body is YOUR hobby, or a conditioning / habit or a hobby of looking after has developed over the years, and now thoughts labelled that habit or hobby as ‘MY hobby’?
For it to be my hobby there would have to be a separate I controlling things and owning things/activities. So far I cant find one.
But there is a belief in an I and memories of that I deciding to do things like looking after the body.
Do YOU have a desire for the body being energetic and work well, or there are only THOUGHTS ABOUT wanting the body being energetic and working well with some accompanying emotions?
Again when I look like now I can not find any I to have the desire. The I (decider/one who is a constant me) is not in sensations in the body or face or in thoughts that come up (they just come up on their own)
, or in emotions like anger and fear etc. If I bring my attention behind the eyes all that's there are sensations and... nothing else (unless you say the thoughts and emotions are there).
But there is a feeling that there is an I moving my attention from one place to another.
Ok looking again -
A thought comes up - where is the I? or is there a doer or a me to have a desire to be healthy?
Then attention goes to different parts of the body - along with thoughts: I am looking, I want to see this. And a thought that I am looking and some physical contraction labelled as effort.
The raw sensation - the only feeling is a feeling of possessiveness.
Is there such thing as a FEELING of possessiveness?
No - I look at something or think about it and then thoughts comes up this is mine, I want to protect it or look after it etc and then there are various sensations contractions in the body , sometimes a kind of electrical feeling. These feelings are
labelled by another thought as possesiveness.
Can possessiveness be actually FELT or only THOUGHT of?
No I see now its a thought that triggers sensations which are labelled as possessiveness. When I look it all happens very quickly. There's a thought that I am making effort to look and some sensations of contraction labelled as effort.
Again when I look for the I who is looking (or typing now) I find sensations/thoughts/physical contractions labelled by thought as me and as effort.
If you say that it can be felt, then please describe the actual feeling of it.
No possessiveness I see now cant be felt. But sensations triggered by the thought this is mine can be felt.
If I think for example about my daughter especially if I think of her being threatened in some way then multiple thoughts arise and they trigger lots sensations - contractions in the face, neck, stomach, feeling of heat in the body, tensing of the jaw etc.
These sensations might be labelled as possessiveness.
Where is this feeling in the body, and how do you know that what is felt is possessiveness and not something else, like a muscle contraction?
In the stomach, temples, jaw.
Some sensations arise more often with thoughts of this is mine. So another thought says these sensations are possessiveness.
Physically if the body is threatened it feels like anger/fear/feelings of tightening. If the body is in a good or more pleasureable/comfortable situation then the feeling is warmth and relaxed.
So when the body is threatened, there are unpleasant sensations.
And when circumstances are pleasant, then the sensations are pleasant too.
Either way, these are just sensation, with different thought labels.
But these are NOT the description of the FEELING of the body being mine.
These are just the description of pleasant and unpleasant sensations. Can you see this?
Yes I can see that now.
there is as you say no feeling of the body being mine - there are feelings that follow the thought this is mine and then the sensations are labelled as a feeling of mine. Yes I see this.
Actually yes as I look more can see the separation between thought and sensation better.
Anger is anger, but NOT the feeling of the body being mine. Can you see this?
Yes anger is an emotion the body is mine is a thought - which might trigger all sorts of emotions (which can then be labelled as the feeling of mine) -
And is the sensation labelled fear, is the FEELING of the body being mine? Or it’s just a sensation with the ‘fear’ label on it?
Yes - a thought comes into the mind. Like I'm not sure if I will have work in two months time. Then an image of Mike not being able to pay the mortgage and getting into debt then physical sensations in the body. Contractions in the head/temples - a surging feeling from belly to head of different intensities. The body getting hot or cold. Yes these sensations are labelled as fear. And this generates more sensations.
Certain sensations come with certain thoughts. The thought I have plenty of money in the bank triggers different sensations to the thought next week I won't get paid. I would say the first thought triggers unpleasant sensations and the second pleasant sensations.
But then the only thing that makes the pleasant sensations pleasant is a thought labeling them as such.
And what about ‘feelings of tightening’? What makes the feeling of tightening (which is a contracted sensation) into a feeling of the body being mine?
nothign just thought labeling
Is there ANY sensation that is communicate it any way that it’s a feeling of the body being mine?
No I can see now - its only thought that says the body is mine.
Or only ever thoughts come up with a story of the body being mine?
But WHERE is this me that thoughts are talking on behalf? Where?
All I can sense are body sensations/thoughts/emotions and what can be seen and heard and felt.
I can't find a separate controller me anywhere. Just the voice talking.
thoughts triggering emotions and sensations.
When walking, what is moving the body?
I cant'd find anything.
When brushing your teeth, what is controlling the movements?
Again I can't find anything. I can see the hand moving back and forth. no controller.
When talking, what is making the mouth move?
Can't find anyone!
What is controlling what sounds should come out of the mouth?
The sounds come out. I don't know how.
A thought pops up I can choose what to say but whatever is said just comes out. I can't find a chooser.
When eating, what is controlling the process of chewing and swallowing?
When typing the reply, what is controlling and moving the fingers?
They move by themselvs.
thnaks again Vivien.