There is a crack in everything

[Smleite]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I understand that I am searching for the collapse of everything I grew up beliving to be me. I realize I am, in a way, looking for my own "death", and that "I" will never reach what "I" am searching.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for help. I realize there is nothing I can do, or that can be done, and nothing to achieve, but the "me" keeps searching - which is fine, because that is what the "me" does ... Anyway, the searching brought me here, and there is a certain amount of hope that "I" will find enough guidance and inspiration here to help me make a breakthrough. Might be a vain hope, but I am going for it. There are no wrong moves, after all, and no one choosing to be here or not, so... :)

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I have very little expectations. I hope the guide will ask most of the questions, because, generally, my questions come too obviouslly from the ego. I expect it not to be like anything I could expect.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Like most "seekers", I have been seeking since childhood. Read a lot, searched in several places... A bit of buddhism, some meditation practice, 15 years in a very serious kabbalah group, some 20 years of practices such as yoga and chi kung, among other stuff. And lucid dream practices, since I was a teenager. But nonduality texts, either from advaita, Christian mysticism, sufism, etc., were always the most appealing to me. Still, I only discovered the modern, non-religious, "radical" non-dualism a short time ago, and it rocked my world.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

Is your subject line b from Leonard Cohen?

https://youtu.be/6wRYjtvIYK0


One thing I want to make very clear up front is that with me, you must post every day. If you know yourself and your schedule are such that you cannot do this, tell me, "no," and someone else can guide you, please.

Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you know yourself to be a skeptical person, prone to doubt, I may not be the best guide for you. I never had any doubt. I can connect you with one of our other guides who did & who can guide you better than I.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Loving,

[Smleite]

Hi, Stacy, and thank you so much.

My name is Silvia, and I live in Lisboa, Portugal. Time zone is GMT+0, same as London or Dublin.

Yes, my subject line is from Anthem, by L. Cohen (after Rumi, I guess).

I believe I can post every day, or at least every other day. If you are willing to guide me even if I, on occasion, skip a day, and if you don't mind me not being an English native speaker, and sometimes struggling to find a word, then I would be very happy (very happy indeed) to be guided by you.

Also, I am a skeptical, but not regarding this subject. I reserve my doubts to other matters.

I read the desclaimer and the FAQ. I will try to be completly honest in my awnsers. I am, ATM, not at all interested in any other practices or teachings.

How will life change?

I don't think it will.

How will you change?

"I" don't intend to change.

What will be different?

I believe that the illusion of being a separate self will vanish.

What is missing?

In a certain sense, nothing; in another sense, clear sight is missing.

Love,
Silvia

[Anastacia42]

Hi Silvia,

That all sounds fine. Use Google translator or something any time you need to.

Now, what comes up when is read there is no self, never has been and never will be?

Loving,

[Smleite]

Now, what comes up when is read there is no self, never has been and never will be?

I am not sure if it is better to awnser without too much thinking, or if you prefer me too make a deeper investigation. I will post my immediate reaction now, but will keep investigating, and if something else comes I will post again tomorrow.

Right now, what I feel is this:

A sensation of free falling
Fear and resistance
A hint of what might lie ahead - Freedom
A subtle feeling that this assertion is true and obvious
And then Fear again.

Love
Silvia

[Anastacia42]

Hi Silvia,

It's a question designed to see if there's any fear. The first 4 were about expectations. Those are the only 2 things that can prevent seeing no self. They both take your awareness out of here & now.

Now try this:

Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please. Same word forms. Same order. EXACTLY.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

There are 3 teleconference meetings you can attend to ask questions, get support & interact with other seekers & guides.

Here's one with Vince:

Our next one is:

November 7, 2022 06:00 AM Canberra, Melbourne, Sydney time,Then fortnightly (For me that's on Sunday in Colorado)

You can convert time zones here: dateful.com

Click here to Join Zoom Meeting

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86991485768?p ... 12Um5DQT09

Meeting ID: Passcode: 083035" original_font_attr="-1" original_line_height_attr="" style="">869 9148 5768
Passcode: 083035


Loving,

[Smleite]

Stacy, thank you for the zoom meeting heads up.

As to the exercice:

I did the coffee cup thing, at breakfast. But it seemed like cheating to simply repeat what you wrote, so I will start at a latter point in the day.

Listening to music in the car:
Hearing music, simply = sound
Thought about listening to music, simply = thought

Walking in the street:
Feeling the feet on the ground, simply = sensation
Hearing sounds, simply = sound
Seeing the sky, simply = image/color
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Reading a book:
Seeing a book, simply= image/color
Feeling the wheight of the book and the smoothness of its cover, simply = sensation
Thought about reading the book, simply = thought

Resting on the sofa:
Seeing the sofa, simply= image/color
Feeling the softness of the sofa, simply = sensation
Thought about being on the sofa, simply = thought

Eating chocolate:
Seeing the chocolate bar, simply= image/color
Smelling chocolate, simply = smell
Feeling the crisp paper around the chocolate bar, simply = sensation
Tasting the chocolate, simply = taste
Thought about eating the chocolate bar, simply = thought

I found this to be a difficult exercise, overall. Still, some "seeing" happened today... It didn't seem related to the exercice, and I am not sure if I should write about it here, or if you prefer me to stick to the exercices.

Again, thank you

Love
Silvia

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

found this to be a difficult exercise, overall.

You did it perfectly. The point is to learn to focus only on Direct Experience. That's where seeing is.

Still, some "seeing" happened today... It didn't seem related to the exercice, and I am not sure if I should write about it here, or if you prefer me to stick to the exercices.

Seeing may happen at any time, because you've practiced it. Go ahead & tell me what happened, then I'll give you the next pointer.

Loving,

[Smleite]

Seeing may happen at any time, because you've practiced it. Go ahead & tell me what happened, then I'll give you the next pointer

Hi. Ok, here it goes:

A few weeks ago, I had a memory coming back. It was a very short glimpse, but felt clearly like I was remembering something long forgotten. I was a baby, but there was no “me”. I cannot put it into words, but it was all about total freedom, without even a hint of a character being picked and lived, no sight of a life path, or a choice, ever to be made. Better than saying I was all, I was nothing. And, although it really felt like a memory, it was also happening there and then. It was in the present.

I didn’t fully understand this latter aspect of the episode till two days ago, when I sort of realized that it was both a memory AND something happening in the now because it was outside of time, and thus had never happened in any “past”: it IS, it never started, and it never will cease. And it’s not about happening, but about BEING.
So, I begun to investigate how is that a “self” could have formed against this pure, crystal clear background of Being. I am not going to write about the whole process of investigation, but at a certain point I realized that it would NEVER be possible for a Self to form. There is only the illusion of a self. Ok, I heard about that countless times before, but this time I saw it, even if for only a brief moment.

Then, yesterday, I spent the day trying to practise the exercises you gave me. In the evening, I suddenly felt this strong suspicion that this REALLY is all a dream… and this time I realized what that means. Everything I take to be real, from the billion-year old Cosmos, to the planet Earth, to the whole adventure of Humanity, to my life since birth… all a dream. And upon waking, it will ACTUALLY be seen that it never happened! And more… it will be seen that it had no importance whatsoever! And more… the whole thing is as ordinary as waking up from a dream in the morning. There is nothing special about any part of it.

Then I kind of freaked out. It was a mix of fear and sadness, like losing something you thought was very special, and having it replaced by nothing at all. At the same time I could see the “joke” part of it, I could only think, how is that someone wants to help another person realising this? It is like having a bucket of cold water being poured down your head. Like taking the candy from a child.

I went to the zoom meeting you posted about, and it helped me. I am better now, but still shaken. The fear is very real.

[Anastacia42]

Yes, that's SEEING. Good!

Good morning.

First, realize that "fear" cannot be "real." You experience a Sensation & then tie a label of "fear" and some story about why to it. Fear is just as much made up as anything else is.

Ilona offers a video on looking at fear that you can try:

https://youtu.be/jKX1llYtlKE


Also, an exercise to practice if you feel fear:

Here is an anxiety exercise that focuses a person in the present, and in a part of the brain that cannot do anxiety. Basically, go through each sense and say (or think) "I see/ hear/ feel/ taste/ touch ______________." A minute or two of each and usually anxiety is gone.

I see the couch.
I see the keyboard.
I see the glass. Etc.

I hear the train.
I hear the keys clacking.
I hear my breath. Etc.

I feel the couch under my butt.
I feel my fingers on the keys.
I feel the cold air. Etc.

I taste a metallic taste in my mouth.
I taste the coffee.
I taste the food. Etc.

I smell the humidity in the air.
I smell my husband's shampoo.
I smell the soap. Etc.

As far as I can tell, the only time this doesn't work is when someone won't do it.


Only 2 things can keep you from seeing: fear and expectations. That's why we ask about that right up front. You are always in the past or future with those and seeing only happens now.

Here is your next pointer:


Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Loving,

[Smleite]

I did the exercice.

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

The second way feels truer, but I couldnt say why

2. What is here without labels?

The present

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

They seem to affect it in the sense that they somehow make it a concept, and less real

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Yes, it was more quiet, but the main difference was in the mind. The second part of the exercice took me longer than the first, because my thoughts were slowing down, sometimes even gone

[Anastacia42]

Very good.

The second way feels truer, but I couldnt say why

Because "I" is a lie.

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?
They seem to affect it in the sense that they somehow make it a concept, and less real

Let's check deeper on that.

Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Let me know what is SEEN. (Not what is merely thought.)

Loving,

[Smleite]

Stacy,

Hope you don’t mind me replying so soon, but I saw your post and decided it would be better to do this immediately, so as not to get entangled in thoughts.

I obviously noticed that the brain goes for the color red, and finds it difficult to “see” the color green. But there is this curious obedience to the label… although it takes effort, the brain starts to invoke the color green in order to “force” a correspondence with the label. Thus, to succeed, it must make up something that it clearly sees as not real. The result is forging an illusion (the color green appearing in the screen of the mind) in order to confirm a lie (putting the label green in the color red).

Also, I saw that, in order to not comply with the lie, I would have to behave as a child. Mom says: what is this word? The child goes: this word is red. No, it says green, pay attention… No!! It is red!! But, as an adult, I feel obliged to agree with mom, even if my brain has to twist reality in order to conform.

At first, I thought this exercise was a sort of mind game. Ok, it worked with colors, but a label saying “tree” would immediately invoke a tree. It is not so, though. If the label says “tree” but has the shape of a cloud, I will firstly see a cloud, not a tree. And so forth. So, what I saw, is that the brain goes immediately, as its first movement, to the real thing – the color red or the cloud – and only latter to the concept. The concept is forced upon reality.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. That's a lot of thinking! I see what you're saying. And that was a lot of the analysis we need to avoid here.

Please go back, quote only the question you're answering & reply with a simple direct answer to what was asked.


Like this:

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Red

Okay? Keep it simple!

Loving,