A very intense week. I share a bit about it in my response. And I feel even more keen on seeing through it all!
I have no doubts that there is no one here experiencing anything, there is only experiencing, now. This has been seen clearly - my head is in the tigers mouth as Ramana said. There is no going back to being asleep.there is experience, yes.
there is a knowing of this experience, yes.
the experience and the knowing of it come at once and are not separated.
there is no you experiencing, a thought cannot have experiences.
Are there any doubts at all about seeing through the illusion of self?
Feel free to discuss all what is coming up about the seeing of no self.
Yet, there is still what I call "cloud cover' that seems to block the Sun of Truth. This cloud cover is made thoughts and conditioning still believed that must be seen through OR maybe something must get fully exhausted from believing in these thoughts. And yes that is only a thought but it is the best way I can describe it what feels like an oscillation away from seeing clearly in every moment.
When I sit quietly and look - it is apparent that's all an illusion. Then something happens like being pulled into some drama. By itself is just another experience but if my conditioning is triggered in a certain way, it feels personal again. It does not last as long as it once did but it still is happening. All I can do when that happens is do inquiry or find a moment of silence to see through the thoughts that I have allowed to cause mischief. And yes I do see that that is still someone here trying to get it and that one is NOT real. That has been relaxed a great deal but still plays.
Here is an example, this week a huge drama unfolded in a spiritual community I am a part of and the primary teacher was both reacting and was being projected on big time. It was just a play, a drama on the stage. Yet, this body-mind got pulled into it and felt compelled to be of help. It was a real firestorm - lots of beliefs about how awakened teacher and self-aware human beings should behave as well as what behaviors they should engage or don't engage - confronted me. That was all seen for what it was - thoughts. During it all, something remained present and I stayed in the moment for the most part, without much effort. While serving happened, actions were taken and intense conversations unfolded - there was no attachment to the outcome while the desire to be present and of service was highlighted. Most of the time, I experienced that I was doing nothing - it was merely unfolding yet there were moments of collapsing back into the personal. There is the experience of being like a rubber band. The experience comes... reaction is triggered.. it is seen... and then it quiets down. I realize I still look at my body-mind-emotional reactions - feeling something should not be reacting this way or that way. On the human side, much skillfulness still needs to unfold. I am told that is not my personal responsibility but there are times when I resist that truth. That said, I feel far less attachments to particular outcome and find it easier to recognize I am not any of it. It is truly hard to describe and I am sure you see some errors in my looking.