Oh yay, feels like a test.....Okay, here goes. In this moment this is how things seem.
We come in to the world with a genetic predisposition and some mild conditioning, from being in the womb. As a baby the body moves and responds to ensure its needs are met. Reactions will happen away from pain and towards pleasure. All of this happening without any self referential thought or notion of being a human baby. No idea, I have a hand etc. All of the time life through parents and life interactions the baby is conditioned.
Eventually, as a toddler the child takes on the prevailing beliefs of the culture and begins to believe it is a seperate person but also a person that can make things happen, a human being with agency. The terrible twos show this developing notion of 'me' when life gets it wrong and doesn't line up to how I think it should be and I want to change it.
This illusion of me is identification with thoughts and feelings that give rise to a sense of autonomy, control and as a by product feelings of guilt, blame, shame, pride and attachment to outcomes (Roger Castillo describes these outcomes). The self sets off on a rollercoaster of apparently managing itself, others and the world. A constant struggle to get the ducks in line and keep them there for it to be okay.
The illusion itself is not problematic, it acts as a useful interface in this world of form and duality. The problem is the accompanying belief of autonomy. Just like a mirage is a real mirage. It is not, and never was, made of water. It will never quench thirst no matter how many hours we walk to find it. Mirages, when we know how they work, can be appreciated for what they are and no matter how realistic they look we won't spend our lives going towards them when we need water. With your help, now I see that the illusion of self doesn't mean there is no self there at all but that it's characteristics are not what I believed them to be. The self could never satisfy the desire for peace. The me isn't the autonomous person I thought it was. Rather it is thought that narrates the flow of life and takes ownership of the doing that is happening through life via the body mind. So like the mirage has it's own form of existence, the illusion of self can play out without any need to be identified with it or need to buy in to any sense of autonomy. Just another play of life.
The call to being, to the peace of true nature I believe is built in to the system. For many, conditioning leads to people trying to find peace in external objects and experiences. For some, life gives a glimpse of the peace of Being empty of experience. The body mind is led suddenly or gradually to glimpse behind the curtain and the illusion is seen for what it is, a play of thought and beliefs. I know for some they go off to the cave but for others they remain 'in life and relationship' with a different perspective. I'm assuming life continues to decondition the body mind so a deepening can happen.
I love the simplicity of the whole thing. It was only the belief in the illusion of self that made it seem so complicated :).
Feel like I've rambled so hope this is what you were looking for.
Thanks so much
That's great. No right or wrong mind, just some LU prompts to see what's what. :D
Ok, another little prompt for you delectation. :)
How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
With much love,