Thanks for posting a few, times.
It may not always feel like this. This is exactly how it was for 'me' in the months after the illusion was seen. And I really wondered if motivation for working would ever return.. I guess there is some getting used to having no more drive or structure. Like getting retired.
Fear-driven motivation never returned but new dynamics came into play. But as I mention this I can only say how its unfolded for me.
For one thing, there was the motivation to guide, which I'd never have expected. And then, after 30 years of neglecting to exercise I started to do it every day, lost weight, felt amazing. The previous version of Jon would never have embraced these things. But as I say, it's only the way things were experienced here.
I appreciate everything you've said in describing how things are for you now. About the appearance./reappearance of 'self'... Is it clear that this is not an actual entity that 'exists' for real somewhere, that is really 'you'?
If you are not that entity, what are you /what is happening?