I don't know if was ever a you, only the people I know they percieved me like that, like 'me'. Shure before I knew this I thought that was a me... but more like an external events shaped 'persona', not actually ME.This is it, you're looking right at it. Keep looking at this, and explain it some more. Was there ever a you? What was the trigger in seeing this? Now that you see this, what has changed?
The trigger in seeing what? That I am not me?... well I analized LOGICALLY from the neutral perspective like one that is observing the content of a life... (BigBrother ring a bell?) and is like a movie, not a real person per se, and I applied that to me, first it was a little freaky because I was analysing the content of 'myself', but at the same time was liberating because I knew I was des-idenfiying with this 'actor' as 'me', haha it's ridiculous!
What had changed is that I am starting to feel like an impostor, playing a role I don't want to. And all the 'other people' too, though this do not saddens me, because I let go of trying to control whatever people want to do with their lifes. It's like playing a role I know I am not, at the same time I'm more withdraw with people in general call; it close familiars, sometimes friends and acquaintances... but this time I don't feel bad like before because it was as a past yearn for approval, now I feel Neutral and balanced, centered, wow this is good!, and this is beautiful from my perspective.
Altough they sometimes doesn't seem to notice me, (when I don't want it) like I'm a gosht and I feel DIABOLICAL, muwhaha like a superpower or something, but, at the same time at will my prescence is more... intimidating? strong? I think... I sense in people a little bit more like courious and in the mean time, like... they want something from me, I don't know what it is but I can sense they view me different. Don't assimilate the fully scope of their percievings.
Thanks for the response Nemo.