after a long walk around the town castle hill, observing everything around with fresh seeing...typing starts :)
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
There is no separate entity 'self', 'me', 'I' and never has been.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.
Separate self is a thought structure. It includes personhood/body-mind mechanism. As far as I know, It starts develop in the first few years of life and is 'programmed' during upbringing with belives, concepts and all kind of knowledges. Identification with belives/concepts/knowledge is fuel for its life. I feel it as illusory and it is seen as caracter who plays its role.
3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
It feels liberating, funny, strange, unbelivable, overwhelming.
I had some glimpses of this seeing before, but during our dialogue the seeing is here almost all the time and my attention become dedicated to it.
It is like the 'force' which makes my heart beat, makes all existance possible, and it has nothing to do with this separate self of mine.
Being and doing and talking with/to people is so different. There is feeling of oneness, so my behaviour is more joyful, nice, accepting, non judgemental.
Walking around feels smooth and 'inner smile' is felt.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
When you gave me the exercise to look at the display and see if there is any division between seeing seer and seen.
When I've been doing this exercise the 'seeing' became obvious.
5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
b) What makes things happen? How does it work?
c) What are you responsible for?
d) Give examples from experience.
Decision, intention, free will, choice and control are attributes of separate self, they belong to the egoic body/mind structure, to the world of thoughts.
The 'force' that makes my heart beat, makes everything happen. It works by itself.
There is no seperate self, there is no personal responsibility.
In everyday life it looks like that I have to take care of my family, my work, making decisions, making choices, taking responsibility for what I do, how things go...but it is not the case.
It feels that life is taking care of life.
6) Anything to add?