Oh yeah, for sure. Ever since this path became clear to me at the beginning of 2018 there's been an incredible focus on thoughts and what they're saying. How they relate to the story of "I" is something that was realized when I learned of this site.Do you find that there is some natural interest in noticing thoughts these days and what thoughts are 'saying'?
It feels somewhat "freeing" and "frightening" at the same time -3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
Freeing in the sense that life does not have to be lived the way others determine or have said it should be lived; none of that matters anymore - the labels are just nonsensical things that other people applied and the illusionary "self" believed, trusted, and accepted as "truth".
Feelings of inadequacy, frustration, anger, as well as the positive feelings of peace, joy, love, simply "are". The feelings can come and go and there is no need to attach to them and no one to attach them to anyway. There is freedom to enjoy the positive feelings without worrying how long they will last or if they will come again - there is freedom to watch the negative feelings knowing that they will pass
Fear in the sense that this goes against everything we've been conditioned to believe, accept, and understand; even something negative can become "familiar", especially if the understanding of it's negativity isn't realized.
The freedom far outweighs the fear, however
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
It was not any one thing - it was a process and, in many ways, there's a feeling that it's not complete yet. That said, the apple cannot be "unbitten" once it's there, it's there - even if it's the smallest bite