Hey mate
Okay here goes
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no "me", "self" or "I" entity at all. There never was and there never will be for anyone.
2) Explain in detail as best you can, what the illusion of separate self is, how it starts and works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The separate self I guess starts as a child when we are given a name, later we realise what sex we are and what race and may have a religion. Then we start building onto this "I" with more and more things as we get older. I am a successful businessman with 3 degrees, or I am a homeless lady and I have nothing. Either way this "I" thinks he or she is in control of what happens but this just isnt true. Like the business man may feel proud of his achievements and the homeless lady may be depressed and hate her life. Both are the same thing, the false belief in "I".
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It feels much the same as before, but a subtle feeling of everything is okay as it is has come about. No need to strain to search for a better this or that. Can finally relax into what IS.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Might sound silly but the little exercises we did really helped especially the wiggling of the fingers as this just proved that the "I" has no control as such an exercise is very intricate. How can an "I" move fingers let alone in such a random way and all without any thought.
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Please try to describe the process as best you can, even if gropingly. Don't forget to give some practical examples from your everyday experience (even if there is no real 'you'!) What are you responsible for? (Don't forget to answer this last element).
Deciding, intent, control and choosing are all just happening by themselves. It may appear that we are doing these things but in direct experience (without thought) there just isnt an I" there that could make anything happen.
Example for me is this, for the past few months "I" had decided to give up smoking. Yet everyday I continue to smoke. So this "I" wants to quit but in reality that just isnt happening as the "I" that wants to quit doesnt even exist. That part of things is a little disappointing as smoking is bad for health but yet again wanting to quit is just another thought appearing in the moment.
"I" is ultimately responsible for nothing whatsoever, wow that is quite radical. Doesnt mean Im gonna go round killing ppl now but if that happens its just happening by itself and I have no responsibility. it wont :)
6) Anything to add?
I hope my answers are good enough (T) lol
And thank you very much Mark for all your help, you are very quick with responses and very clear.
Jay :)
