Lol! Okay, so I wasn’t supposed to see how decisions take shape because they just happen and that is why I couldn’t see it. hahaHaha, perfect: I don't see anything missing, so far!
No, no, no. Never.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
I see that the illusion of separate self started around the time I began talking. My parents, teachers, pastors and society told me I was a female named Linda and I believed them. This created a thought structure that I misidentified as “me”. Stuff was piled on that thought process like giving human bodies titles such as mom, dad, sister, husband, friend, ect, what a female should act like, what God this thought process should believe in, what is good , bag right, wrong, ad nausea. All of these thought stories were at the root of so much unnecessary perceived anguish.2) Explain in detail, as best you can, what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Just describe it fully as you see it now.
In short, I mistook thought as being “me”. Once I saw that they were only thoughts they lost the power to function as they once did. I still have the thoughts and will continue to function in society with the same “I” vocabulary so people don't think I am bat shit crazy but those thoughts will never be taken as “me” again.
OMG! I am so glad you asked this question :-). I am absolutely blown away that just a few short days involved in this dialog has produced so much. I feel so much excitement because I see it so clearly now that in the last couple of days I seem to be able to instantly look at the thoughts and recognize them as thoughts that come and go…and more exciting is LIFE itself behind all those thoughts which has no concept of concepts, is vast, without borders, it seems like it is nothing but somehow everything. And importantly…all is well.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I know that when you first see that there is no “I” that nothing really changes. But my experience in seeing the no “I” has changed everything and nothing at all. What has changed is I am finding thought lies (beliefs) all over the place and they are evaporating as though they never had any power at all. It is beyond amazing.
Three things, the book Gateless Gatecrashers assisted the first real glimps of no me but it scared me and I retreated back to “me”. Then when you asked the questions about what was factual in the thoughts I had relayed to you…it made a huge shift and opened up space so-to-speak to see exactly what was going on. Lastly, I lost all hope of maintaining a separate “I” when you asked me to look at decisions and control. That did it. Game over :-)4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
No, no, no, no, and no. Yesterday’s time with looking at decision making showed clearly that all of life is just happening. Thoughts take credit for the action afterwards and then an “I” believes it did the action but it’s a lie. I am still marveling over this and realized last night that every action is related and interconnected with every other action since the beginning of time and there is no “me” doing it. It is just happening. Who is there to control, chose, intend decide anything? For example: yesterday I took my dog to the park, there was no “I” that decided to go to the park, we just went to the park. But to go to the park an infinite amount of action had to already happen to make that possible…such as having a car to get there, roads to ride on, someone to build the park, interest in building a park, land to put the park on, someone to buy the land, someone to think the land is their to sell, a concept that land can be owned and on and on and on until you get to the beginning of life itself which I cannot find. So when I look at this, everything is connected and actions just happen. And who is there to be responsible for anything.5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Please try to describe the process as best you can, even if gropingly. Here I would like you to give one or two practical examples from your everyday-life experience (even if there is no real 'you'!) What are you responsible for? (please don't forget to answer all parts of this question, Linda).
I have no words to express the awe and gratitude being felt right now. I know I have crashed through the gate, there is not an ounce of doubt. And now I'm looking forward to exploring Life as though it somehow just began. I am sending you a super big hug and blowing kisses to everyone at Liberation Unleashed for the amazing acts of love towards humanity. Are you sure I don’t need to send my credit card number to you? :-D