Open invitation, reply and we begin

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Elizabeth
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby Elizabeth » Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:23 pm

The I explanation is very clear. Thank you. It's work to get down to simplicity and clarity.

"A bit mumbo-jumbo but I understand it. I haven't gone around these questions so much as to explain them to others, trying to calm the thoughts instead of encouraging them and I am mostly feeling my way around with these findings, using inward pressure as a signal that I am not looking. The body needs to ajust itself to this lightness before it leaps over the kinesthetic hurdle. Meanwhile I feel grateful for having you to remind me what the mind (little devil) so easily, so readily forgets. :O)"

I am not understanding the above, perhaps more coffee is needed :-)
Could you explain it? It sounds a little complicated, and has a "need's to" in it. I am usually alert to Needs and Musts and Shoulds.
Love, Elizabeth

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:31 pm

I should have said that it was a "feeling" that the body needed to ajust cause I sensed that it would not go any further, too much sensitivity. I felt stuck in a way.

This any clearer? :O)

Good morning Elizabeth!

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:36 pm

trying to calm the thoughts instead of encouraging them
Just in case you are wondering about this one also... I mean that sometimes when I have racing thoughts, instead of letting them go on and on I simply acknowledge them and go back to looking.

LOOKING, NOT LOOKING, LOOKING, NOT LOOKING..

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Elizabeth
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby Elizabeth » Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:38 pm

I should have said that it was a "feeling" that the body needed to ajust cause I sensed that it would not go any further, too much sensitivity. I felt stuck in a way.

This any clearer? :O)

Good morning Elizabeth!
Good Morning!
Nope, not any clearer, sorry.
What is stuck?
Is that even possible?

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:44 pm

Let's see...maybe I have a misconception about it but seems to me that things evolve to a certain point and then stay there. My nerves seem to get in the way of a deepening of the good buzz. Guess I'm looking for more candy :O)

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Elizabeth
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby Elizabeth » Fri Feb 17, 2012 1:59 pm

Let's see...maybe I have a misconception about it but seems to me that things evolve to a certain point and then stay there. My nerves seem to get in the way of a deepening of the good buzz. Guess I'm looking for more candy :O)
Yup. Where there is tension, you are holding something close. Probably protecting something. Fear.
Still a story of a you.
Lucid, please give me a long story of a you. All the reasons a you needs to protect itself. Why there is a small scared someone who must not be exposed.
The real reason you think you need a you.
Even if you have to make up parts of the story, it's all a story, so go for it. Let loose! Pour it out.
Every bit of drama and pathos that causes you to have nerves.
WHAT are those poor nerves trying to tell you?
Much love, Elizabeth

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Fri Feb 17, 2012 6:03 pm

Should I send you the long or short version of the manuscript? Let me think about it for a while... just got up, need coffee and birdie needs her seeds :O)

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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby Elizabeth » Fri Feb 17, 2012 7:10 pm

Should I send you the long or short version of the manuscript? Let me think about it for a while... just got up, need coffee and birdie needs her seeds :O)
Automatic writing. Please ask questions of what is not wanting to make the final step.
It will be story. It will be long and convincing and cite historical examples :-) It will invest passion and sincerity and be very very talkative.
It will tell you how a separate 'you' needs to have this story to survive. It can be a mask, a watcher, a cosmic consciousness...all thoughts, characters. Not real.
And if you can look at it in all it's tenacious, wonderful, illusory aspect and see that it is thoughts upon thoughts upon thoughts, it' seen through.

Much love.

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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:02 pm

I do not need to make up a story and it is not necessary to get into "my" story. I can tell you right off the bat, the vilain is GUILT. I've been seeing it in subtle ways for the last month in a form of unworthiness. Just an old remnant of years of neglect from my parents, and abuse from myself as an adult. Exausted and suicidal, at 30 I decided to stand in the bullring and face the monster. My life was turned into a therapy as of this day. Spent loads of cash for a good 15 years, doing everything i thought might help, and it did. On my own today, I'm OK except for this little leftover, just enough to spoil the fun.

Have to add that I as an infant and before there was any apparent trouble with my family I never slept much. I inherited it from my father who also had tight nerves. I was also diagnosed as a high copper type personality by a doctor who had my hair analysed and found high levels of copper in my body. So there is a physical aspect, a weakness of the nervous system that was later on aggravated by using drugs and alcohol.

I think this sums it up pretty well.. :O)

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:10 pm

In case you are wondering here is a good site for copper imbalances:
http://drlwilson.com/articles/copper_to ... ndrome.htm

♫☼♪

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Fri Feb 17, 2012 9:37 pm

One last word... I have a fear that my "sneaky" subconscious is not looking at this seriously, taking what I do here as the "illusion". After I get a breakthrough I seem to go back to my former life as if nothing had happened. I forget to LOOK! So if I seem to work at this (use discipline) it's cause I apply the Zen stick myself if you see what I mean. I may not know quite how to do it but I step in and act upon it cause I know I want this deep down.


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Elizabeth
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby Elizabeth » Sat Feb 18, 2012 1:07 am

Hi Lucid,
It's pretty frustrating to get all the way up to Gate, and the usual suspects are showing up. Especially if you have spent time and money and a lot of focus already.
And of course trying very hard and perpetuating the energetic loop that keeps you trying very hard is frustrating, too.
Who would you be if you did not have to try so hard to be worthwhile?
Let's try it. Please take a couple of days off and do absolutely nothing related to this. Nothing to prove yourself worthy. No guilt involved, I am giving you this as an assignment.
The beloved Lucid is on holiday from efforting and is simply life-ing.
Come back in two days, please. You have the weekend off, no LOOKING. No nothing. I look forward to hearing from you again, and expect no results.
Much love, Elizabeth

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:58 am

It's pretty frustrating to get all the way up to Gate, and the usual suspects are showing up.
Very much so, feels like I'm punishing myself in a way.
Especially if you have spent time and money and a lot of focus already.
This I don't really feel bad about cause I had a very interesting time doing it and money never stopped me.
And of course trying very hard and perpetuating the energetic loop that keeps you trying very hard is frustrating, too.
True, the famous vicious circle
Who would you be if you did not have to try so hard to be worthwhile?
Interesting question.. I'll keep it close and let it sink in for the weekend.
Let's try it. Please take a couple of days off and do absolutely nothing related to this. Nothing to prove yourself worthy. No guilt involved, I am giving you this as an assignment.
Ah! I love assignments... hehehe
Come back in two days, please. You have the weekend off, no LOOKING. No nothing. I look forward to hearing from you again, and expect no results.
Sounds good! I'll be back, no worry, no one could ever get rid of me that easily :O)


"The beloved Lucid is on holiday from efforting and is simply life-ing"
Image

Sorry, couldn't resist! :O)
Have a terrific time! XOXOXO

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Elizabeth
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby Elizabeth » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:07 pm

:-))), you too, Lucid.

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LucidLizard
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Re: Open invitation, reply and we begin

Postby LucidLizard » Mon Feb 20, 2012 5:07 pm

I'm back.. feeling low. Maybe a sign that self is wearing itself out a bit. It's been holding it's olympic shape since the beginning of this little walk to the gate, wish the body could at least keep up. Is there a thrash can by the gate?
On a better note, I have sat right in the middle of the jittery nerves, and have had some success in releasing them. Just playing with this showed me that they're on the surface while inside remains empty, so that's good :O)


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