Dan, come in :)

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Ilona
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Sat Oct 01, 2011 9:42 am

Ok, what is the me?
Is it not just another thought?
Look in there.

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:25 am

yes, it is just a thought.
sadness comes

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:27 am

There is lot of various feelings that are bounded to I. Sadness, anger, even inferiority.

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:31 am

Can you ask them feelings to come closer, let them just be here, feel them fully, honour them and take a look, what is behind them.
Tell me what you find.

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:39 am

Can you ask them feelings to come closer, let them just be here, feel them fully, honour them and take a look, what is behind them.
Tell me what you find.
It's fear that even if I would be close, I won't make it, because I will slip back to stupid self dialog and being controlled by emotions again

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Sat Oct 01, 2011 11:59 am

Of course there is fear. How otherwise.
But you don't need to fear the fear itself. You can observe it as a mechanism that is protecting something.
Can you see how perfectly it works?
Is there anything to protect?
Ask it.

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 4:43 pm

Do you know what's funny, that when I want to ask it, it is not here anymore. I focus on something else, and when I get back to see your reply fear is not here anymore.
but I see how it works, but don't see what is protects.

Anyway, looking happens, smelling, touching, listening happens, no-one is doing it.
I love when I travel by train to my gf or gym, I look outside the window and I'm happy, more specifically I am not there, I just look outside, watching the landscape, sun, trees, people in the train as they are talking with each other, no separateness, they have thoughts and feelings in their minds just like everyone does, and even though the life is just happening, and everything is right. Nothing is missing and nothing is superfluous.

Theres one more thing that is happening.
When I get angry, it goes on whole another level, it is raging on its ragest.
And it sticks to the thought I
Then it disappears as fast as it appears
Problem is, it is not good, I have no idea why it happens, maybe I just don't want to block it but I'm sure there is some fundamental way how to make it meaningless.

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:15 pm

Of course there is fear. How otherwise.
But you don't need to fear the fear itself. You can observe it as a mechanism that is protecting something.
Can you see how perfectly it works?
Is there anything to protect?
Ask it.
There is nothing to protect, it is just fear of unknown

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:23 pm

Tell me, what's about your problem, you say there is rage and it's no good.
Is something behind the rage? Maybe it's just rage passing by. Check it.
Allow that rage to be ok, allow it to happen and it will pass by quickly. Every feeling just wants to be felt and go away. Let it out and it's gone.. Resist and it comes back.

" this is problem, it's no good" - is there a thinker behind that or just another thought passing by as a label?

Yes, there is nothing to protect. :)

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:33 pm

Maybe it's just rage passing by. Check it.
Allow that rage to be ok, allow it to happen and it will pass by quickly. Every feeling just wants to be felt and go away. Let it out and it's gone.. Resist and it comes back.
My mother was sleeping in bedroom, I was washing my hair and my lil sister was on pc.
I was in bathroom, door closed and she screamed around the home to me to read something she cannot decipher

And I was like, angry, pissed, that she cannot get out of the pc and ask me, not waking up my mother.
I told her "come here I cant hear you" and she stayed there and shouted few more times "Wuuuuut I cant hear youuu!!! COmmmere!" and.. yeah it is bullshit. Maybe just accepting the rage would be enough

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:38 pm


" this is problem, it's no good" - is there a thinker behind that or just another thought passing by as a label?
I didn't called rage the problem, I called the power of it the problem.
Now i see that it was resistance that made it so furious

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 6:15 pm

What's next Ilona?

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Sun Oct 02, 2011 9:11 am

how is your day going? any change anywhere?
before we talk about what is next, let's see where you are :)

describe in detail and answer these questions as fully as you can.

is there a you in any form, shape at all in reality?
what is the 'self' and how does it work?
how would you explain to somebody, who has never hear about no self what it's all about.

jus trant about it :)

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sun Oct 02, 2011 10:30 am

how is your day going? any change anywhere?
before we talk about what is next, let's see where you are :)
I'm SOO excited to answer you!
Thank you Ilona, my day is great:) how is yours?
Any changes? Yes. From the moment I wake up, thoughts are rushing, or flowing, I watch them and life itself is more relaxed, no paranoia "you should do, what if, what if this and that", they are still here but what they refer to? :) While writing the last sentence, feelings come up, and every time it happens I watch them, tell them to come closer and share their message. Yesterday I was reading your blog and you wrote "who is looking? Who is behind the eyes?" and.. oh god this is so beautiful that I almost have tears in my eyes.
So whole morning I was asking myself Who am I? Who am I? Feelings arising, I honor them and then I was asking "Do I exist?" I is not, but "am I here"? "Is DAN here?"
It is much easier to focus when I look to the mirror. This is where I am, and if you are interested to what I've found out, I didn't find anything, because now I'm reading your reply and writing you this.
is there a you in any form, shape at all in reality?
is there a you in any shape or form?
I am not a thought, I am not a feeling. The thought that is here when I'm writing this says""I am I" "I am I and that am I" until its boring, boring to death
Am I even here? Am i here in any way? i is not even a label because label means a real thing on a tins.(for me)
Really isn't there any I?
What could it be?
It is not a thought, thoughts are only thoughts, like a waves on ocean.
Feeling? Feeling "I"? Feelings just occurs, they just happen.
is I the body? Absurd
Is I.. what can it be?
Thought is writing this.
Interesting

is there an I? Feelings of are appearing, are seen and are not here anymore
Interesting
what is the 'self' and how does it work?
Self is not, it is an illusion created by some fundamental error in the base of each language.
An individual conditioned by this illusion suffers from obsessive and fixed idea that he (his self) lives life, looks, breathes, and labels experience.
Despite the irrefutable facts, that he does not breathe, because he would die during sleep, the illusion is maintained, and other events that could lead to the looking through illusion(in other words. its destruction) are simply filtered, unregistered and remains unexplained.
Illusion binds feelings, thoughts, events, and various parts of reality that are linked to the story that supports its(illusions) existence. This illusion / virus is able to kill host organism due to the due to underpinning of its own existence, if it is not seen(thus destroyed) or its significance reduced (but still an illusion itself remains ).
(I hope my english is good enough for you to understand)
how would you explain to somebody, who has never hear about no self what it's all about.
I would tell him if he can find a self. Everything happens, looking, breathing, thinking, feeling, touching smelling, experiencing but can you find a self? No. you can't because you cannot find something that is not. Who is looking? Is there anybody or anything? Yes? What? What is behind your eyes? there is no you, it is just bullshit just look. Look there what do you see? There is nothing. Thoughts, feelings. Yes they are there. But you don't think. it is just a thought. You are not there, You are not some cosmic consciousness, some "self-esteem" you are not in your head, you are not outside the body. YOU ARE NOT AND YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN.



btw I know you englishers would use "is there a you"... but I wrote it as I would say it in czech( so sorry for the incorrect english grammar)

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sun Oct 02, 2011 10:36 am

and I see some mistakes in my reply, I was copying some sentences from translator :D
I'll write em here just to make it clear

Code: Select all

[b]I [/b]is not a thought, thoughts are only thoughts, like a waves on ocean... [b]Feelings are[/b] appearing, are seen and... ...virus is able to kill host organism [b]due to the [/b]underpinning of it..


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