Dan, come in :)

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:16 am

Now is there a little tension in my chest and stomach.
When I woke up, it just happened, body moves, thoughts appear, feelings appear
but the more I focus on them the more are feelings stronger. Like, they come to the surface
And it seems that they want something. And again, the more I focus on them the more they are somehow stronger.
Not in a sense that they are taking me over, but like .. more VIBRANT

+ I'm reading Great Divorce, really good book, so true.

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Ilona
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:07 am

Hey dan.
Yes, thoughts and feelings just appear and disappear. How about focusing, is it you that focuses or that also is just happening? Is there a focuser?

All feelings are coming in to be felt. All that once been surprised, pushed away, they surface to be released. Everything is welcome. All visitors. Just keep checking, what is behind them.

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:14 am

All feelings are coming in to be felt. All that once been surprised, pushed away, they surface to be released. Everything is welcome. All visitors. Just keep checking, what is behind them.
They are here because some things has been denied in the past, and want acceptance. Not acceptance from me, but they just want to flow further in the ocean of nothigness

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:20 am

And it is not only things from past, it's all things. It seems like the self trapped them, grabbed them somehow, and labeled them to provide evidences of its own existence

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:25 am

yes...
so can you get liberated?

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:23 pm

yes...
so can you get liberated?
Lots of thoughts arises, dozens of them at the same time.

I just need to see the non-separateness maybe?

"How you wanna see this" thought arise..
but damn it is just a thought and when it says "you" what does it refer to?

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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:01 pm

Seems that it's time for field experience.
Get outside today, to a park, anywhere where you can just sit and watch what is going on. Notice totality, notice how everything moves and wiggles. Watch animals, people, see if the body that is sitting on a bech is separate from all that is. Look closely, is there anything that manages the movement or is it simply just happening all by itself.
Write what you got when ready.

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:42 pm

I was reading Ciarans blog and liberations from RTnexusgroup
then I go to the garden, watching people, birds, flies, plants..they all are there, bounded together, full of life, more I focus if I am here, the more reality gets vivid
And I also get fucking pissed when I think about how hard i try, looking all the time, it makes me sick that I still not get it.. (and at the end I do not look SOO hard anyway)

Everything happens itself, plants grow, organisms grow, evolve.. Nothing is separated. Except this, except ME.

I is nowhere, nothing, no thing that triggers life, no thing that controls life, no organism, nothing real.

And still the feeling of "I" is strong enough. Strong enough to keep itself alive.
Goddamn, who is writing this? Thought, I, I don't really know.

I need to be destroyed, buried in to the ground, someone kill me pls.
Nothing manages movement, I know this. But thinking is still there, I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to hard to give you my best shots, try to answer you questions right, while taking assumptions what it would be like.

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:46 pm

But what I know for sure is that I can't go back anymore.

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:54 pm

And there's few things i realized i assumed or expected from liberation

That there will be some GROUNDBREAKING EPIPHANY(realization), that I will just be stunned for few moments, that it will hit me(like a thunderbolt? :D )

I don't want to be biased towards any experience here. Maybe that's what prevents me from it.
I don't look on the truth, I'm looking for SHOCK to happen

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:59 pm

this helped
http://nemonavigator.blogspot.com/2011/ ... nmyth.html

That I won't be destroyed, I was never here.

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Ilona
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Thu Sep 29, 2011 10:22 pm

That is great. So do you see it or just think you do?
What drives Dan? What is Dan? How does it all work?

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:24 pm

That is great. So do you see it or just think you do?
What drives Dan? What is Dan? How does it all work?
I thought I do

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Ilona
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Ilona » Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:33 am

What is that I that thought?
Is there an entity behind it? Check and let me know.

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Dan
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Re: Dan, come in :)

Postby Dan » Sat Oct 01, 2011 8:25 am

What is that I that thought?
Is there an entity behind it? Check and let me know.
There is no I, no Dan, no self that think or thought.

Thoughts arise and disappear eventually, but the sticking point I have is that often times, almost every time they and feelings arise, they are attached to ME


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