Ready for the first step towards liberation and unity

[BeingAware]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I understand that by dropping the inherent "self" I have begun the first step in actual awakening. From here I can continue to cultivate and work on unified mind, shadow work and more that further relinquishes the dualistic world view.
My personal understanding of the self is that I conceptually understand that it is not there, it is imaginary, it

What are you looking for at LU?
Someone to help me shed the self. I can sort of grasp it or "see it" as I do self inquiry, but it does not let go and I am lost as to how to release it.
I would also appreciate someone helping me eliminate one last remaining fear or hesitation that lingers. It is the fear of awakening from the self suddenly jeopardizing my great love for my wife and daughter.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Someone who is experienced by this and can find "where I am at" in recognizing the truth and what I need to work with specifically to take me to the next step.
Ultimately helping me shed the self (by coaching and support) and hopefully point me in the direction of where to go next to continue this work after shedding the self. What to work on for true liberation.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I am currently working on self inquiry. Also I have been able to access the gap, or thoughtless void, or spacious awareness, however you want to call it. By way of panoramic awareness practice I calm my mind to the point where thoughts come very rarely. At this point I can close my mind and shut visual impulses also.
I have been meditating on and off for about twenty years but only done Non-dual practices for just over a year.
Over the past year I have been doing Loch Kellys Effortless Mindfulness practices and Adyashanti's Direct Way practices all in the pursuit of awakening.
I am not religious.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[BeingAware]

Just to add to my answer to the first question since it fell away.

My personal understanding of the self is that I conceptually understand that it is not there, it is imaginary, it is the one creating the everyday narrative and stories that occludes the clear seeing of reality and creates drama where there is none.
I am so tired of the stories. I am so tired of being hijacked by the self into stories and carried away into a fantasy.

[BeingAware]

Also I'm located in Scandinavia, so CET

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

One thing I want to make very clear up front is that with me, you must post every day. If you know yourself and your schedule are such that you cannot do this, tell me, "no," and someone else can guide you, please.

Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you know yourself to be a skeptical person, prone to doubt, I may not be the best guide for you. I never had any doubt. I can connect you with one of our other guides who did & who can guide you better than I.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? Thank you for the time zone. I'm in US Mountain Time.

Loving,
Stacy

[BeingAware]

Hi Stacy!

Thank you for your reply!

I have already established contact with guide JonathanR by way of PM and we will meet by video. I did not know how to set myself in a status of "have established contact with a guide".

Thank you for contacting me and I wish you a very nice weekend.

Warm regards
/ T

[Anastacia42]

That's wonderful.

Please tell Jonathan & he can ask an admin to unpin your thread from the top. They may have already done so.

Have fun!
Stacy

[JonathanR]

Hi Timo,

When we were talking via Skype we agreed that I would post the six questions here for you to answer, so here they are:


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Give in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

5) a) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.
What makes things happen? How does it work?

Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

6) Anything to add?

Looking forward to reading your answers.

All the best

Jon

[BeingAware]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No, there is no self, me or I anywhere. There is no such entity and never has been. This implies that there is a being with the label "self" existing and acting on it's own accord. This is false. There is only the label of "self", there is no being, no entity, behind the label. It is a thought construct only with no substance and no appearance in reality.

2) Give in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?

The separate self is a label put on a construction made entirely up of thoughts. Thoughts consisting of "history", "values", "likes and dislikes", "fears", "traits" and so much more. This construct is begun in an early age and it's purpose is to fit into society and make it easier to communicate between people. The construct is made to feel real by attaching itself to (or claiming ownership of) feelings and actions. Believing that the separate self is acting/doing/choosing gives the separate self more power to continue it's loop.

The illusion has been seen through now and the difference is big already, and still growing. Feelings and emotions no longer has "an owner" which makes difficult/uncomfortable feelings no longer threatening or dangerous. Feelings of guilt have nowhere to glue themselves stuck, they arise, they can be studied with curiosity and stay as long as they like.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

The change is big! Much less reactive overall, much less frustrations, irritations and anger. Things break or fall and instead of me being scared, angry or shameful it's just "whoops" "oh well, things happen".
Emotions arise but are so much less sticky, guilt and shame and hurt don't belong to anyone and fall away naturally.
Thoughts are quieter. Getting "caught in stories" is laughed off as yet another one of lifes amusing surprises.
And there's more and more of this as the realization settles and changes the old habits.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

I think maybe it was a little bit of fear clinging, holding me back. Fear of being changed. Fear of acting strange or foreign to my loved ones. We did a deep looking session and I think that was when the last piece of that fear let go. Maybe even my mind let go of the burden of carrying everything, plans, stories, history and so on. The Deep Looking helped mind to let go I think.
This was then followed by a full day of emptiness. This day all experiences were displayed like on a movie screen, behind the screen where everything happened there was nothing, emptiness, space. It was a very peaceful day with very few thoughts. Occasionally the movie screen felt even closer and brighter and there was an extremely present feeling of NOW!
This all just helped release any remaining fears.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?

I have absolutely no idea how it works. Does anyone?
The "me" or separate self claims ownership of choices and decisions, just like it claims ownership of feelings and thoughts. None of it is true. When tested in direct experience there is no point where a choice is made, it can't be found. Somehow a decision just happens (i.e. left or right hand is raised) and shortly thereafter there's a thought that claims ownership/intention and makes up an excuse or explanation on the fly: "Oh well I had pizza the last time we ate out at this particular place in town so Hamburger it is this time, for variation".
Intention can also be confused to be something that happens before a choice or decision, directing a choice or decision. This is false. The choice has already happened, somehow, and the intention again comes after that choice has appeared.
Free will doesn't exist either. Because we cannot create thoughts, we cannot intuit the next thought, we can't stop thoughts. Free will would require all these things and more, it would also require the ability to list every singe one of all the options available and also make a choice, which the self absolutely cannot do. It claims it does, but it just makes stuff up really quickly to make it seem like it has any idea.
Control is also fictional. Control is making up a story into the future about thoughts of an event that has not happened yet. Control is selfs way of rejecting what is. It is selfs imagined tool to carry out it's will. But there is no self, and there is no free will. Decisions and choices just happen, so any plans involving decisions or choices are at their core completely random, they just happen. There are no pieces or tools for "control" to use. It also is made up after the fact "I did that", "I planned that".

These are also all thoughts. Thoughts just arise out of nothing, the next thought is about anything, arising whenever.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

Well, firstly there is no "you" ("me") here. The separate self is out of office currently, but you can leave a message.
Secondly, responsibility implies there is control. There is no control. Nowhere. It's all imagined by the self.
Choices just happen. decisions happen, or rather, stuff that seems like choices and decisions. It's all in fact life living itself. Grass is grassing, cats are catting, humans are humaning everything is just a seamless wave of movement and life happening all by itself as it's own nature.
In fact, it's the direct opposite of responsibility! It's complete freedom! Everything and everyone is absolutely free to just life!

6) Anything to add?

It is all just so amazing. So complex and yet so simple. So hard and yet so easy.
These letters flow up onto this screen from nowhere, from thoughts that arise from nowhere.
The conclusions are seen to make absolute sense and are self evident in direct experience, and yet, when life continues living through the day habitual selfing happens anyway.
At least it is amusing when this selfing is seen. Less anger, less irritation, more amusement and wonder of all this busyness. Life-ing.
It felt liberating writing this down. All my answers. "Who's answers?" 😂

This all just flowed out naturally, from the heart. So if we find a snag holding me stuck at the gate I hope it will appear in these answers so we can continue exposing the illusion.

[JonathanR]

Hi Timo

I'm not finding any snags and its a great outpouring! At times it made me giggle. Thank you very much for all of this.

I will now invite guides to look at what you have written. They may have some questions or they may not. Let's see. This might take a couple of days.

All the best

Jon