Calvin's journey to liberation

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Fri Sep 03, 2021 9:50 am

Hi Calvin,

Nothing is clear, lol. There are no questions for the moment. There is just a settling-in / getting used to this. There's a moving in and out of the "me", that's stablising...
I'm smiling ... nothing is clear yea:-)
There's a moving in and out of the "me", that's stablising...
Look:

Is there something SOLID, something REAL which can move in and out?
Or there is just a thought about something?


Much love
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Thu Sep 09, 2021 9:25 am

Hi Calvin,

I now see that I didn't send you those (final) questions.

Are you ready for them?



:-)

Much love,
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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calvinb
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby calvinb » Thu Sep 09, 2021 9:39 am

Dear Luchana,

There's a moving in and out of the "me", that's stablising...
Is there something SOLID, something REAL which can move in and out?
Or there is it just a thought about something?

No, nothing solid. There are just doubting thoughts that arise.

Maybe I need to remove these doubts before the final questions?

Thank you so much.

Love Calvin.

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Thu Sep 09, 2021 10:58 am

Hi Calvin,
No, nothing solid. There are just doubting thoughts that arise.
What makes these doubting thoughts yours?

Maybe I need to remove these doubts before the final questions?
What is here that needs removing?
And who or what has the power to remove it?


Much love
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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calvinb
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby calvinb » Fri Sep 10, 2021 10:26 pm

Dear Luchana,
What makes these doubting thoughts yours?
Just a thought. In fact they can just come and go, as all thoughts do :-).

What is here that needs removing?
And who or what has the power to remove it?
The doubting thoughts cannot be removed as such, and there is nobody, apparently, to remove them.


There is great freedom is seeing this :-)

Have a wonderful day.


love Calvin

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Sat Sep 11, 2021 12:50 pm

Hi Calvin,
Just a thought. In fact they can just come and go, as all thoughts do :-).
Nice :-)
The doubting thoughts cannot be removed as such, and there is nobody, apparently, to remove them.


There is great freedom is seeing this :-)
And nice :-)))

Let it sink a liitle - few days and see how it feels.
Meanwhile if something shows up - just write.

Much love
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Fri Sep 24, 2021 2:19 pm

Hi Calvin,

how is it going?
Is there something you would like to address?
Or something which is not super clear?



Much love,
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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calvinb
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby calvinb » Mon Sep 27, 2021 8:17 pm

Hello dear Luchana,

Thank you so much for checking in on me :-). Sorry for the delay, I have been away.

In general it's been going really well, thank you. I would love to catch up with you when you are free. Are you around tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon or Wednesday afternoon?

love Calvin.

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Tue Sep 28, 2021 7:49 pm

Hi Calvin.

Ok. Wednesday afternoon is great.

I will message you tomorrrow morning.


Much love,
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Wed Sep 29, 2021 6:48 pm

Hi Calvin,

like we spoke today here are the final questions:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Give in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.
b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

6) Anything to add?

Take your time and provide examples where are asked.

Have fun :-)

Much love,
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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calvinb
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby calvinb » Fri Oct 22, 2021 9:58 pm

Dear Luchana,

Thank you for the final questions. Here are my responses.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, there isn't. There was never a 'me' that ever did anything.

2) Give in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?
The illusion of the separate self is just an idea, a bunch of thoughts, a bodily energy that gives the impression that a 'me' exists, that it can make decisions etc. The 'me' is a thought-based imposter that claims to being doing, living, choosing etc.

What is different now is that there is an empty space that the continuous barrage of 'me' thoughts once took up, and there is a lightness to life, a joy and wonder. I feel like a little child again, excited, and often smiling and laughing for no reason. Fear and worry and anxiety seem to be fading away. There can be a feeling of a me that returns from time to time, but there it is knowing that it is not real. There is a lot of appreciation and gratitude. The need to get somewhere, achieve something or become someone special is evaporating. This is enough, more than enough. Feelings of compassion and love seem to arise easily and are sometimes overwhelming, and a real connection to "others" and especially to nature is strong. The obsession with past and future has disappeared.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

It is very beautiful yet not what I expected. In a way, I could say that I am more myself than I have ever been. The veil of the false self, full of worry about what others might think, has given way to a natural and beautiful and playful being. There is such a joy in seeing what will come out of this being, and it’s often surprising, and certainly nothing any 'me' could do. Life has become effortless, because there is nobody doing it. Here there is an excitement, and a wish to explore and enjoy everything, even the things that I didn’t like doing much before, such as paperwork.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?
It's difficult to pinpoint anything in particular, but there was a recent strong desire to see through the ‘me’. There was a realization that the ‘me’ needs the constant support of thought forms to exist (stories, opinions, memories, self-description). Seeing that thoughts have no power to do anything in themselves, gave way seeing that life just happens, with or without the ‘me’. Also, it was seen that the thoughts came after actions, like a claiming of 'I did that', when clearly the action just happened, as everything does. It’s almost like a gap appeared between actions and thoughts about the actions, or the thought of a ‘me’ doing them. And then losing interest in the thoughts that arose about the actions or the ‘me’ doing them.

5)
a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.
Right now, breathing is just happening, thankfully. My body is functioning all by itself, and there is no ‘me’ who could digest the food or pump the blood. Thoughts arise all by themselves, from seemingly nowhere, and disappear into nowhere. Getting up and making tea may happen, with or without the thought “I’d like a cup of tea”. Both just spontaneously happen, or not. Whatever thoughts arise about a ‘me’ doing anything are just stories. So, intention and free-will are just ideas that give the impression of a doer. Choosing tea or coffee may arise as a choice, but in the end, either one or the other will be chosen, and there may be an after-thought that arises, “I decided to make a coffee”. There may even be an explanation of why coffee was chosen, but that would just arise as a story and ultimately has nothing to do with the spontaneous action of making coffee.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
This is quite a big one, because part of this 'me' was all about regret for many things in the past, and the way this life has gone. Now I see that it all just happened as it happened, and without a 'me', it couldn't have been any different. And even that is just a story, because all there is, is this that's happening. Without the story, where is past? Did it even happen? Who cares? There was also a big burden of responsibilty for getting life right, doing the right thing. It's really about fear of what might happen in the future - cause and effect. But seeing there's nothing but this, then the sense of responsibilty falls away. Who would be responsible?

6) Anything to add?
Of course, this is not the end; more and more is opening up. There is an excitement, like seeing life as an amazing playground, rather than a just something to get through, which was my experience before. I see people’s serious faces in the street, and I want to invite them to come and play, but they would just think I was crazy 😊.

I'm just very grateful for your help and loving guidance, Luchana.


Much love,


Calvin.

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Luchana
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Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Sat Oct 23, 2021 8:06 am

Hi Calvin,

thank you for your replies.
So beatiful to read. I will share them with the other fellow guides and they may or may not have some questions for you.
This may take a little time. Will message you again.

Much love,
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.

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Luchana
Posts: 737
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2019 6:23 pm

Re: Calvin's journey to liberation

Postby Luchana » Sun Oct 24, 2021 10:15 am

Hi Calvin,

the other guides have no other questions for you which means that you crashed the Gateless Gate so to speak. But as you already know - there is no one to crash the gate, there is no gate even :-)
Keep an eye for a private message from the admin. Your name will turns into blue at some point.
There are lot of possibilities to continue investigation in the forum and also in FB, where is an aftercare group - I will waiting to for you there if you decide to join.

It has been such a pleasure and joy to accompany you here. Thank you for the trust, for your openness and willingness to LOOK.

Here is my fb profile so we can keep in touch.

https://www.facebook.com/luchana.uzunova

Much love
Luchana
Look. There is no you dreaming.


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