Seeing There is No Real self

[Wanderer618]

Listening to tracks 8, 9, 10 occurred. Resting in the third point was effortless. Releasing, relaxing, merging also was an effortless happening. Everything is ok just as it is. There's less contraction as thoughts, sensations, sounds, smells and tastes arise. There's a relaxing and allowing. There's a subtle spaciousness. There's a smiling at this mystery. There's a strangeness and distance when it comes to the I thought. When the thought happens that uses the word me, there's an asking where is the me that arises. Looking happens. Noticing is noted as being effortless. It just happens. It takes no effort for sound to be registered, for images and colors to be experienced. For taste to happen. For smells to be noted. Thoughts arise. The more there's a zooming in on moment to moment experience the more ease there is. There is a contraction around the thought that that's too simple but almost a simultaneous joy in the simplicity. The thought about the third still point arises. Resting in that seems possible. Smiling. Sound. Living is happening. There's the thought that if going about the rest of the day starts there's an I that has to start doing. A reminder to relax and that doing is just happening. There doesn't need to be a holding, a grasping, a clinging. That's just a thought anyway.

[Anastacia42]

Beautiful. Yes.

Can you say 100% there is no separate "self?"

Loving,

[Wanderer618]

Can you say 100% there is no separate "self?"

The thought arises to say there is no me to say anything. Words come out saying there is no separate self. Looking happens.

[Anastacia42]

That's great, Jazzy. We have some traditional checkpoint questions. Would you like to try those?


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?


Loving,

[Wanderer618]

Answers will be written when the right moment arises. There’s still not a complete gateless gate crossing yet from this vantage point. Will write again soon. Thanks so much!


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[Wanderer618]

Perhaps awakening is closer. More letting go is needed perhaps. Thoughts arise. There’s a movement to try and avoid entertaining the next thought but rather let go instead. Any advice? Surrender feels possible yet there’s something being held back.


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[Anastacia42]

Yes.

"being held back" is only a thought a belief. It isn't real & doesn't exist in Direct Experience, except as thought arising & the Sensation of tightness or heaviness of the lie feeling.

Have you looked at any of Pernille Damore's videos?

Start here & when you get to it, pay special attention to the 2nd fetter on Doubt.

https://youtu.be/oA9aKOxBX9g?si=-9Vn_V6FVQHjH-fK

Loving

[Wanderer618]

Yes “I” was watching her videos the other day. “I”will explore them more. “I” also watch Angelo Dilullo videos and listen to his podcasts as well lately for more direct pointing.

Thank you! Aloha, Jazzmina


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[Wanderer618]

Do you recommend focusing on Fetter 1 curriculum of the Awakening curriculum or doing the meditations you sent me again?


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[Anastacia42]

What does your gut say?

Contraction or expansion? ?

Check each choice..

Loving,

[Wanderer618]

Hi,

I haven’t responded because I’ve been dealing with being ill with food poisoning. I’ll try checking in with myself in terms of expansion or contraction. Thank you

Aloha,
Jazzmina


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[Anastacia42]

Ugh. Totally understandable. That is no fun.

Take your time!

Loving,

[Wanderer618]

I’m feeling better and recovered from the illness but having a hard time tapping into what my gut says about anything. I feel lost.


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[Anastacia42]

Glad you're better.

Do either or both. You can't lose or be wrong


Loving

[Wanderer618]

There's a sense that I want to write to you and give you an update about where I am which I really have no idea. I'm just here writing and unsure of anything. I watched many short videos from The Awakening Curriculum you tube channel and then started to do one of the meditations but got interrupted and followed this idea to write to you now instead. I have this feeling that I don't know what to do and then these thoughts tumble around in my mind and I don't know where to direct my attention and focus. As I read this there's also something indicating that none of that is real. I guess I thought to report some of my experience to you so maybe you can point me in the right direction especially if I'm just stuck in a loop in the illusion of identification. And then I wonder if I even understand any of it?

I feel like there's so much going on within me that it might help to write it out and be guided along. There's tightness in my chest and a feeling of being confused and stressed but also that there's nothing to be stressed about. I feel tangled up in thought and anxiety about the future. In one way it feels real and intense and then I can breathe and just be because its just thoughts. There's both stress and relief present at the same time and a feeling that so much needs to be sorted out and also nothing does. I don't know what I'm doing or who I am. Or where to look to see that there is no I.