Seeking an experiential knowing of Truth

[Soulstice]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
Intellectually there is no real, inherent ‘self’ resonates. There is a body, a collection of beliefs, patterns of thinking, conditioning that is awareness living a human life. All nouns (humans) are awareness. The ‘self’ is a concept - not real. A label.

What are you looking for at LU?
The intuition is that beliefs and conditioning are falling away. There is a reluctance to let go of beliefs that resonate with glimpses of knowing. In altered states there have been brief experiential episodes that seem to align with beliefs in reincarnation, other dimensions, a continuity of a separate soul, a feeling that I am a kind of frontman for ancestors whereby we are learning, feeling and processing things they weren’t able or willing to. Is this magical thinking? Are these phenomena still potentially true? Are they just made up stories by the mind and the beliefs of others I’ve adopted as my own and mistaken them as intuited knowing?
My instinct is the gate remains uncrossed. The heart is open and blissful states of being are regular as are ‘healing valleys’ where there are episodes of tears, confusion, doubt, fear, sadness and despair. Increasingly, I let the difficult emotions wash through without feeling the need to analyze and fix them. If there is no self does this mean we never see loved ones after they (or we) leave the body? That seems like an attachment not yet ready to release.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Clarity regarding whether the gate is crossed, if not guidance through the gate. An experiential knowing of Truth.
I’m not entering with a lot of expectations I’m open to learning how to see the truth for myself and I think a guide could help me do this.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Feeling that a veil was coming down over my knowingness as a child of about 8. A sense of forgetfulness of something important that was to be done in this lifetime and a vague remembrance of something profound that I was forgetting - it is difficult to put into words. A strong connection with God as a child. Speaking to and listening to (and meditating?) God before falling asleep at night. No spirituality in the home or belief systems. As a child wanting to go with friends to their churches to learn.

Intrigued by Buddhism as a teenager. Profound, confusing, scary but also fascinating and perspective-altering experiences with psychedelics as a teenager. A feeling that I am simultaneously the entire universe but also alone and nothing.

Many years of reading and seeking truth. Last year a divorce seemed to catapult an expansion of knowing and (despite great emotional pain) a big heart opening. Most recently finding spiritual community through a few retreats and online connections. There are no family members or friends that relate to my spiritual seeking at its depth and intensity although they indulge me by listening! Never felt an urge to meditate - my life feels like a nearly continuous meditation - spending an hour daily in the forest with my dogs, lots of quiet contemplation.

I have read a lot of spiritual books and watched many videos. I find them interesting and entertaining. Most of the recent reading has been nonduality teachings and texts that I didn’t understand when I first read them 10 years ago such as those by Ramana Maharishi and Sri Nisgargatta. Read some of the work of Jed McKenna recently and was amused by the straight from the hip talk and willingness to call out all the rampant disfunction and delusions in the spiritual space. The greatest ongoing resonance is with Michael Singer and Ram Dass’s material. Rupert Spira and The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali also.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Lubo]

Hi Soulstice,
Welcome to the forum.
my name is Lubo and I can guide you here, if you are OK?

What name you prefer to call you?

I read your intro.
I understand what you are sharing.
let's start from the end and to finish with one quick look, do you want to try?
If yes Look this:
" I am That" and I can stop pretending that I am something separate from That"
What is coming when you have a look to check this?

Is there ' a me" running the show in this very moment? In any shape or form?
:)
Look and you are done!

So much love to you,
Lubo