Okey, it is time to dig deeper.
No, to me it seems like I'm observing my thoughts almost after they happen. I'm basically thinking about my thoughts not observing. I just realized that, I've read enough to know that's not what's required but it seems to me that's where I am right now.
Yes, correct. Look more closely at that process: thought arise - > awareness registering it -> thought judging it, or some kind of blank thought is putted like stone for some time -> mood/feeling -> attention goes somewhere else -> new thought come. Is that right? Look for some time. So all: thought, attention, blank thought ( as I call it ) are just forms that arise as programmed, right? What else is there? Anyone doing that, or all that is just happening by itself?
Can not predict my exact thought, although I can predict a pattern.
But that prediction is one more thought, right? On more programmed thinking pattern as a result of spiritual practice. Can you see that, is it true?
The thought can not think, it is the thinking itself...wow...I just typed that and could sense the mind doesn't know what to do with that statement
Yes, new external thought was given for awareness, there was not any programmed answer, so thoughts stopped for awhile.
I can pick up a book, listen to music
Are you sure? When you say: "I can pick something" what that point to? Investigate how thoughts, or external stimuli call for awareness to happen, for attention to be directed to some form. When I look at this all, I see all this happen automatically: thought "I want to read" come -> attention to book case happen -> thought "better I would go to bath" arise -> if no stronger thought arise, my legs carry me to some certain place... and so on. What else, behind thought/mood can direct your attention? Investigate every your movement, how that happening? Is there a place where that "you" can be found?
it doesn't matter what I do the pure attention is there, always there!
What is that "pure attention"? What is that, if drop all ideas, you read about that before? Your direct experience? Expeerience just NOW, this moment? Look, Truth is very simple, it is what you have NOW. Investigate in relaxed way, but look behind ALL ideas, all thoughts. What is there?