Grateful to have found liberation through emptiness

[ehyeh]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
The self is a conglomeration of empirical evidence based on mass assumptions. When we truly look for the self we discover there is nothing to be found.

What are you looking for at LU?
I had a life changing awakening experience about 4 years ago, but had no understanding of what truly took place. I experienced four weeks of incredible bliss which eventually waned. It wasn't until about 2 years ago I stumbled upon "The Power of Now" (Eckhart Tolle) that I realized what had happened. Through Eckhart's book I experienced another shift by seeing through the illusion of self. I began meditating (using Sam Harris' 'Waking up' app) and have been reading, searching, learning as much as I can since then. Within the past couple of months I have realized a stability and unanimity that has been wonderful.
I am now looking for:
Advanced guidance to uncover areas of resistance.
Assistance, exercises, practices that would help seeing through the illusion of form.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Assistance, pointing, exercises, practices that would help stabilize my experience further.
I also really enjoy talking to others about their experiences and sharing insights.
No topic or conversation is off limits. I thoroughly enjoy questioning everything.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I had a life changing awakening experience about 4 years ago, but had no understanding of what truly took place. I experienced four weeks of incredible bliss which eventually waned. It wasn't until about 2 years ago I stumbled upon "The Power of Now" (Eckhart Tolle) that I realized what had happened. Through Eckhart's book I experienced another shift by seeing through the illusion of self. I began meditating (using Sam Harris' 'Waking up' app) and have been reading, searching, learning as much as I can since then. Within the past couple of months I have realized a stability and unanimity that has been wonderful.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 11

[Anastacia42]

Good morning

My name is Stacy & I can be your guide.

It does sound as if you've probably woken up. Here at LU we only guide to see no self, the first Fetter of Buddhism. Usually Fetters 2 Doubt & 3 Rites & Rituals fall with that.

Why don't we start with "final" questions & see where you are?

Then I can share some pointers (exercises/meditations with you, since you asked for those. I can also invite you to the Fetters teleconference group if you're already seeing no self.

How does that sound?


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Also,

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Thank you,

[ehyeh]

Hi Stacy,
Thank you so much for responding.

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no separate self anywhere, in any way. I began to realize this while reading Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now" about a year and a half ago. I read the words "You are not your thoughts", and it had a profound affect on my sense of self. I slowly began to separate from identifying with my thoughts and other sensations. I started to realize I was something deeper. Not an 'I' self, but something much more vast. I had also begun to meditate at that time just out of curiosity that it could possibly help achieve different states of consciousness.

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of being a separate self began when I was very young and strengthened as I got older. It was like a protective ball of thought patterns or energy that surrounded nothingness. It was like an invasive energy that attached to everything. Thoughts, feelings and sensations and claimed them as a separate entity. There was this odd reference point in my body or behind my eyes that always seemed to either oppose things or claim them for itself. My mind was continually grasping for things to hold on to as ultimate truth. A place to rest, but it never found it. But it always insisted that there was a safe place and it could be found. Looking back, there were many moments when I experienced gaps of no self. Time in nature, moments during exhaustive times of prayer where I finally surrendered, etc. My liberation was chaotic, but exhilarating because of the unknown. I had no guidance and did not realize what was happening.

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

There is no place of reference in my body or anywhere that identifies or localizes a self. I feel as though my being or isness is gradually expanding. I was quite surprised to realize this within the past few weeks. Before that, I had definitely seen through the veil, but there were residual energies or patterns of response that would seem to pop a self into place and then it would gradually wane as I saw through it. It's quite interesting to me that over the course of the last 4 years I have had many shifts in consciousness, insights, and breakthroughs, but there was never a 'moment' when everything became static or clear. Things just continue to gradually progress and flow. My mind has continued to become quieter and quieter.

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

After getting a peak through the veil I became very interested in free will. I realized that if there is no 'me' then I am not making choices. They are just happening, but I still felt a sense of control in the day to day and needed to understand free will. I had read the book "Free Will" by Sam Harris, and "Conscious" by Annaka Harris. I fully grasped the concept, but needed to apply it or look at myself. Here is a quote from my journal on 09/18/22
I was just listening to Nargis Alegria talking about 'no free will' and the liberation that comes with the final energy shift when the seeking energy stops. I think I finally realized what liberation is. I can't put it completely into words, but it's very scary! I have to stop creating the energy 'the self' that wants to be good or do the right thing. I don't have control, and the illusion that I do is creating the suffering! You can feel all the pain and enjoy all the pleasure, but there is no resistance to it. There is no desire to hold onto the pleasure and resist the pain. It just is! If I let go of my desire to be good or to not feel pain, what will I become??? What will I do??? What will I regret??? But that same fear is also what is trapping me in this dualistic dimension. It doesn't matter what I do or what happens because there is no me in control! It's all an illusion! By letting go of the concept of free will, I was able to let go of the self and the guilt/burden that comes with making choices.
And another quote 3 days later:
It is very parallel to the idea that many Christians face when they are surrendering to God. If I surrender to God will he make me become a missionary to Africa? Will he make me do something ridiculous? That's so scary. And then the thought came to me, the self is the one that is afraid of surrendering. The character 'Mike' will go on and make whatever decisions and perform whatever actions he wants. The self is the illusionary being that is suffering because it thinks it has control of the character. When I finally gave myself permission to just 'BE', I extinguished the self. It simply just faded away. What's amazing is that surrendering to God is parallel to surrendering to 'Mike' the form, the character. I am God! I am everything. What's also interesting is when a Christian thinks that they have surrendered everything to God they then wait for God to instruct them. As if God is 'other'! There is no other! It's a complete illusion. So now that I have surrendered completely to what IS, God/Being/RealMe, I hear directly from God every second of the day. I am experiencing and doing the will of God every moment. I am experiencing peace and joy all the time. It's wonderful.

Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Decision, is what the mind does. It is very good at interpreting information, trying to make sense of it, and then providing a probable course of action that is beneficial. There is no 'I' deciding. It is just what the mind does. As I woke up this morning, my mind assessed if it was rested enough, and either decided to stay in bed a little longer or to get up. Once my mind had waited long enough and my faculties started to become more aware, my mind decided that I had rested long enough, and I got out of bed. My mind went to the normal list of things to do and decided to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Each decision chosen by the mind and acted upon with no interaction from a 'self'. It just 'was', and then on to the next decision.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

As events occur, my mind categorizes and prioritizes them. It keeps a list of things that need to be done or things that it might like to do. This list of intentions changes and evolves as there are new experiences or events. When I came across LU it resonated with me and I applied for a guide. My intention arose from the resonating. Intention seems to be intertwined with the process of letting go. My intention is to 'be', or 'sense the flow' of things and then let them happen. Not pushing or pulling at anything.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Free will is an illusion that the 'self' uses to power the illusion. There is no free will. Things happen, and I am the 'happening' of the things. I have no experience of free will. I am just the awareness and the flow of what is.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Choice is just a flow of what is happening. My brain weighs options and then flows in a direction based on those interpretations, but there is no 'me' choosing. It is just the flow of what is. I went downstairs this morning and based on habit, knowledge of past experience, and comfort, my brain chose to have eggs, toast and guacamole for breakfast. It could have easily chosen yogurt and granola, but it didn't. The flow of energy through and between all things made that choice on its own. I had no bearing on it.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

Control is as illusory as the self. It is another from of energy that gives rise to separation. There is no 'other' to control. It is all one. The patterns and filters that the mind uses to survive create the illusion of control. I do not control my fingers when typing this response. It is just the flow of energy as it interacts with all other energy around it. I observe, I feel, I see, I hear, but it is all just happening. I do not choose what happens next. It just is.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

This one makes me smile. This is what the self wanted to know from the beginning! I almost laughed out loud when I read this. I'm running as fast as I can from anyone that has that answer.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Who is the 'me' that is responsible? There is no 'me' that is responsible for anything. There are obviously patterns of behavior that keep my body from harm and feel a sense of belonging and responsibility to family, but these are just energetic patterns of behavior. I can't really explain it. It just is.

Anything to add?

I realize that the way we communicate is with symbols, language, and concepts, and these can be things that the mind loves to gravitate towards. I really enjoy thinking and talking conceptually, but they are not something to be grasped or held onto or trusted as truth. They are only pointers. It's only when you listen that you can feel the spirit and energy behind the concepts. That's when true communication happens. Thoughts and concepts can be argued about for eternity, but if they are trusted, they only bring separation. I trust that you will be able to see past these words and concepts and meet me in the place of no boundaries, because we are one and the same. I am also completely open to looking at any held belief or concept and 'seeing' it for what it is. My journey and soul desire is to surrender in every moment, see the beauty, and experience the vastness of everything that 'is'.

With kind regards and much love,
ehyeh

[Anastacia42]

Very very close.

My mind went to the normal list of things to do and decided to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Each decision chosen by the mind and acted upon with no interaction from a 'self'

Who is there to have "my mind?" Or "decide" to go to the bathroom & brush your teeth?


Loving,

[ehyeh]

Who is there to have "my mind?" Or "decide" to go to the bathroom & brush your teeth?

You are absolutely correct. There is no feeling of 'my' mind. It is definitely a figure of speech. I could just as easily say 'the' mind. I feel no ownership of the mind.

[Anastacia42]

Good.

Your answers will be shared with other guides who may have questions.

Stay tuned.

Also, if you will Private Message me an email address, I'll send you some pointers to play with, if you like. They aren't necessary, but you asked.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Good morning

No one had questions. It was a pleasure to confirm.

You'll be invited to Facebook groups. Teleconferences are listed at the top of The Gate.

Welcome!