I remember that I’m here to remember

[MariaKefal14]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
the inner- standing of this is more of a recognition that this that is expressing itself as Maria has already been here in every step of the way in my life / this life .
That the story of the mind is a story of illusion that is crippling before my eyes 👀 more and more
That there is no “other” and that we are all unified the universal heart
What are you looking for at LU? I’m looking for a guide to help confirm - check out ?- the seeing or awakening that has occurred
Identify beliefs and ideas about the awakening process
Burn any remnants of egoic arrogance and or victim consciousness
my practice - work- s shifting and I can’t seem to be able to take next steps , cos the old story s fading I can’t seem to do the job I have been the same way
A guide to help deepen the seeing so next steps emerge spontaneously from THIS place

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Truth
Non dogmatic approach on one method or philosophy - I have no attachments to any philosophy or ideas - attachments can’t seem to stay
Compassionate - yet direct
humble !!
It feels a momentum s called for now to confirm / go through the gate less gate

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I never saw myself as a spiritual person yet I was always told I was ; I had no idea what that concept even meant until 2008.. when I first met mooji since then a more conscious practice on self inquiry has begun since then.
Not with the traditional discipline in the latter years of sitting and doing the inquiry - I don’t feel I can meditate any more , do I need to?-
yet the inquiry / witness s solidly there

I has read it all and sought it all- the past 1 year after a dark night of the soul I came through and there was noticing that all seeking simply dropped song with other things

Desires to go to workshops shamanic healing sound healing all stopped . Even the desire to read books has faded significantly - who knew for an academic this would happen-
It has been feeling I’m in a no man s land for the past 2 years which at times it feels stuck
but other times
There s a lot of peace and joy in this but not total completion - or is this another story within the story -

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
10

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Yes, it sounds like you're waking up.

I can post our "final" questions as a barometer of where you're at or I can take you through some pointers first. Which do you prefer?

Also, please watch these 2 videos:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

Love,

[MariaKefal14]

Hello Stacy
So many thanks for your prompt response
There s no particular preference here , is the pointers in writing form or face to face ?
I’m happy with this or the barometer questions - im ready
In fact I’m already 😂❤️

[MariaKefal14]

Stacy- I meant to say online …
If both are typing answers then I d go straight to the barometer questions
Here s a preference emerging
The online was originating from a thought belief that I “might need to confirm this check it out” the oscillation between echoes of distant doubt - as it unfolds now- and waking state is very very quick and speedy - seen nonetheless
Many thanks Stacy 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[Anastacia42]

My pleasure.

Online, written. Here they are

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?


Some guides work in teleconference. I don't. I like to reply when I feel like it.

Loving,

[MariaKefal14]

Thanks Stacy
What am looking for is a guide to have sessions with to deepen cement co firm check out the seeing
Is this possible at this stage ?

[Anastacia42]

Yes. We can skip the questions until later, then.

Here's my usual introduction:

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Sorry, that isn't the whole thing. This is:

Hi,

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

One thing I want to make very clear up front is that with me, you must post every day. If you know yourself and your schedule are such that you cannot do this, tell me, "no," and someone else can guide you, please.
Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Hi again,

If what you want is video chat (which I don't offer), you can tell me so i don't keep watching for replies & then watch the guide videos. After that, you can post here & make your request.

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=8412

Loving,

[MariaKefal14]

Hello Stacy
Apologies I only saw in one of your replies you clearly stated you don’t do video chats
i want to fully trust the divine that it was you who responded and I’m inclined to continue
I wanted the video as there s thought that says it will help with the connection and the power of the seeing , mind won’t be able to hide much ?

Are the video chats daily ?as I would t be able to committ to this with 2 kids and a very busy job
The daily chat feels more feasible , now, there was a long winded internal journey to arrive here fro your last response to now
Please let me know if video chat is daily and I will decide after that - 🧐hmm though decision feels s taken already

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Timing of video chats is up to you & that guide.

Loving,

[MariaKefal14]

Ok!
Let’s stick with this Stacy
I’m noticing excitement every time your email pops so I’ll fully trust that !if it won’t work , well it will be gist for more digging and questioning,
I’ll send my response t your first questions soon today
Thanks so much in advance for your time it appreciated beyond measure

[Anastacia42]

Sounds good. I'll watch for your reply.

Loving,

[MariaKefal14]

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

What s emerging in responding to this , is the inner knowing that there isn't a separate entity " self... - There appears to be a self and identity , until it isnt. In this experience, " my" life, I always felt as a child this emptiness .. I recall walking feeling empty ... and being aware of this emptiness but not feeling bothered by it. This was perhaps one of the first direct experiences that s remembered..
there isnt a separate me anywhere , this questions for some reason doesn't resonate, i seem to struggle to answer it. - is this a conceptual seeing or clear, ?- i notice mind is trying to find the answer in how perception happens in the world...everything just is happening, as it is... the inner knowing there s no seperation is here. should i feel anything stronger than this ?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is this...an illusion, a dream calling us at every step of the way to wake up from this illusion , of the story of the mind to TRUTH. It starts , the moment there s a reference point to "him" her " Maria"... as a baby growing up.... they say a child at 13+ months begins to have a sense of self , it is when the trouble begins. As I see it now, it is here to wake us up... I was obsessed in finding the truth growing up, an obsession back then that didnt make sense. Now it makes me smile... since the seeing has been confirmed all memories of the childhood flush in showing the timeless
the age less
I have been here ALL aLONG. this is tremendously humbling and at times overwhelmingly clear to have seen... im so grateful to Grace for Grace to life for life ...the illusion of seperate self is showing in the collective pain body, in the world and the suffering that exists ... i try to hold on to the strong inner faith that this suffering s appearing to be getting worse only because it is being cleared out... it s a much needed process but its painful to witness it at times... i see the moments of separation when they arise here, the moments i catch myself being in the deadly triangle. Victim rescuer persecutor. There s lots things to be undone still. The seeing of this moments seems to be getting faster and faster, before the moment arises ,often. Im pregnant and i notice beliefs, old beliefs arising in preparation of this birth, due to previous miscarriages. this s for eg a way that fear gets me hooked into the story , momentarily ...until its seen again..for what it is...love in disguise.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels and has felt truly liberating to see this, the tastes or glimpses of this nectar when first tasted in 2008 ,there was a beckoning to "return"...
It is interesting that this dialogue is offering a space to cement this seeing through the process of trying to word it. its wordless, how can i put it into words yet there seems to be an urge, an inclination ? to attempt to do so... ?it helps with keeping me focused in the seeing. I like it.
in some cases it has felt alien to have seen this, the ego mind has found it strange, threatening at times, and it has been interesting to notice how the ego s trying hard to keep the separation story... by either trying to feel special about it or remaining "humble" and not talk about it... ( this story dissolved in September when it was seen.. how arrogant! or feeling hooked into rescuer and wanting to make people see it too.; The past few days , since we begun to dialogue, i havent felt any difference to other times, compared to how i been feeling since september this year, the invitation though to attempt to word it is like a focusing within that is very welcome, it feels warm and confirming. a warm inner glow.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

. in September , Grace had in plan to attend a retreat... It was a week before I found out i was pregnant, an unexpected pregnancy- no 3- and a HUGE shock to the ego... and its lack of control the inner knowing glimpsed enough to notice the retreat happening at this time which gave momentary hope in the deep contraction i was experiencing. I noticed myself going through the process of abortion booking appointments speaking to people ordering the pills, yet, the knowing was held...this might or not be the final decision, i thought. I knew within deep down that it was a timely event but the clear seeing of this didnt fully happen until i fully surrendered control and "returned" attention to faith and knowing. The holding in the retreat helped with this hugely. I surrendered. The retreat finished on the Sunday, and though "no formal Decision" was taken by me i had my faith fully installed, the decision will simply to come ; either way; that it was not me to be deciding in the first place. This was a story that was inviting a resolution... a letting go. I saw how control is a long story to this ego mind and a longing to be released was felt. And so it happened. The pills never arrived , (15 days in post the order- ) until the day after decision simply emerged...just like another thought ,effortlessly and with ease...There was no sense of relief in the decision or surprise .it all felt neutral. Perhaps a sense of awe how spirit and this life works.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

the example above i hope illustrates that decision is simply an illusion ...the faith in this on a day to day is to be cemented deeper so even deeper peace envelops me... but the taste of this was so strong that i m experiencing deeper peace and joy and a sense of being held after this experience. Decisions in other forms : preparing for my lectures used to be an agonising act, there is zero preparation now, there is simply flow... there is no angst or anxiety prior to the lessons... at times distant echoes of noise but it s distant and that, an echo... is this being in the moment ?. there s still daily angst to some extend about managing everything in the house and maintaining the household... the angst, i recognise is when im out of flow.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

i always always always struggled with the notion of intention. Even before the spontaneous kundalini awakening happening in 2018, there was this story of going to kundalini yoga, asked to set intentions , it simply didnt resonate... i trained as a sound healing practitioner and big part of training is set intention for the person in service. this , appears , to have been yet another portal to surrender the ego and realise that intention is a myth... and it was then it was realised that it was more of an opening and a letting go of desire expectation egoic planning...it was a leap into the emptiness of the self... with the connection to the heart. Then i found this new meaning for intention.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

he notion that free will exists never truly resonated. I always held the "belief" im "too small" to be deciding about the path of my life...

the experience with the pregnancy was a perfect example, that it was meant to simply happen .The seeing and belief that everything is unfolding in perfect divine order is deepening....i can recognise a thirst to rush it...and "I" see the ego's "impatience" ... after my retreat in september, i saw the truth hidden in this very sentence. I heard free will not as a noun but as a command... FREE the will, from the illusion of choice... it felt revelatory... since then, little glimpses of the truth appear organically within the very own language we use.
more examples i cant think right now

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

choice... i always seemed to have struggled with choices, there s even a story of adhd that appeared- very timely again- shortly after the dark night of the soul to say "this is the reason" why i struggle always to choose things... i want to fully fall and surrender to the plan of the divine.
im finding more and more comfort in the choice less place. at restaurants i can never choose a meal before the moment of ordering. now i think i know why.
though i have a deep knowing there arent choices i still struggle with this a bit.
how do i choose for my children ?with my children ? for example. do i let them totally choose themselves ?

Describe control & give examples from experience.

there s strong tendencies to feel in control be in control .this has eased tremendously in many areas of my life. family life seems to be a little more anxiety provoking...and i seek more peace with that.
I used to have so many expectations from my husband i tried for long to change him, i fell in the trap of the mind that he s not enough for me or doesnt provide me enough. This s shifting tremendously now. the area of control feels existent still though in the household... im still in the illusion i can control the things in my house, running order of things. i d like more flow with this.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

things just are, and just happen... i dont even know how it works, some invisible force seems to move it all and us all , through the life death cycle - the before and after... life simply happens and continues on.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

im responsible for my awakening.
i cant feel responsible for anyone else. in my last retreat the huge seeing i dont know my children landed. it was painfully liberating to see, i recognise there s more un-seeing to be done in this area.... im not responsible for the people i work for... this feels so freeing... my psychotherapy practice s shifting tremendously... the rescuer even in its most nuanced expressions is fading if not gone ? what s emerging organically and almost without thought or choice is a form of inviting them to move into the non dual... people come through the door seeking this...and i meet them there... i sometimes feel i shouldnt be doing this as im not "complete" yet... and then there s guilt.
i m responsible for my children feels is still strongly there.

[Anastacia42]

First this:

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said
"Speak to us of children"

Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself
They come through you but not from you
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you

You may give them your love but not your thoughts
For they have their own thoughts
You may house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow

Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams
You may strive to be like them
But seek not to make them like you
For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday

You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite
And he bends you with his might

That his arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness
For even as he loves the arrow that flies
So he loves also the bow that is stable

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Ysaye M. Barnwell / Kahlil Gibran