Absolute

[freedom2bno1]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That the 'me' is an illusory, energetic 'identity' sustained by belief and experienced as a separate entity.

What are you looking for at LU?
There is nowhere else to go now than towards the full and direct realision that I am calling the dissolution of the 'me', of the imagined separate self. The mind was entirely undone and the Noumenon was revealed, but the 'me' reinstated itself almost immediately. Because there was no doubt, because there was absolute certainty that this wall all that is Real, everything else was seen as irrelevant. But 'I' hadn't caused this seeing so 'I' knew it was powerless to sustain Freedom. I am suddenly glimpsing the possibility that guidance exists and that the 'me' can be dissolved completely and for good, and that is the only purpose left in my life now.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I am looking to engage in a process which will provide an opportunity to 'remember' what I know to be true and real and to realise this home-coming permanent and irreversible. I am aware that the me has many apparent tricks and that some of these are very subtle. I need direction and I believe that a guide who knows this Freedom will provide the prompts to rediscover what is true, to discern between truth and illusion and to encourage independent enquiry of a kind that is 'live' and uniquely tailored to the moment of the meeting.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Soto Zen Buddhism - Zazen - Throssel Hole Priory, Northumberland
Life Events
Initial 'encounter': Noumenon
A Course in Miracles: 3 months + in
Non-Duality - Self-Enquiry/Contemplation - Online and in person: Lisa Cairns & Tom Das - online only: Helen Hamilton, Jim Newman, Occult Theo
Online Meditations - Awakening Together Sanctuary.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
10

[Lubo]

Hi freedom2bno1,
Welcome to the forum.
My name is Lubo and I can join you in this journey, if you are OK?

What name you prefer to call you?

I read your intro and also the part with spiritual practices. Are you agree to put aside all that you know, all expectations?
Are you ready to stop seeking but start finding what is here?

I am suddenly glimpsing the possibility that guidance exists and that the 'me' can be dissolved completely and for good, and that is the only purpose left in my life now.

Can put a light here, What the "I is made of? What is the experience called "I" ?


Cheers,
Lubo

[freedom2bno1]

Hi Lubo,

I'm so happy to hear from you and would love to join with you on this journey, thank you.
My name is Mary.
Yes, I am ready to put aside all that I know. I'm aware that there are expectations and notions regarding the 'dissolution of the me' but I am willing to put this and the 'seeker' aside also.
Do I respond to your question about what the 'I' is made of immediately or am I required to reflect on that question before answering?

Cheers,
Mary.

[freedom2bno1]

The 'I' is made of:
breathing in a body
unidentified space inside breathing, inside a body
space both inside and outside a body, this body
a someone with thoughts about itself
knee-jerk reactions to 'others' separate from itself
memories and a history identified with
a personality with attributes
an essence somehow held, compressed, accepted, made mine, owned.

[freedom2bno1]

The thoughts and feelings and personality traits can easily be seen as not mine and the ideas about 'me' that they communicate can therefore also be seen through. They can remain but they can lose their reality - they can just dance around the edges and remain insubstantial.
The breathing is still where I am locating the 'I', however. And the 'energy bundle' experienced as 'I' appears to remain intact even as the thoughts and feelings become increasingly peripheral.

[Lubo]

Hi dear Mary,
Thanks for the replays.

I'm so happy to hear from you and would love to join with you on this journey, thank you.

there is joy here too :)

Yes, I am ready to put aside all that I know. I'm aware that there are expectations and notions regarding the 'dissolution of the me' but I am willing to put this and the 'seeker' aside also.

Thank you for your willingness.

Do I respond to your question about what the 'I' is made of immediately or am I required to reflect on that question before answering?

Excellent question, thanks. When you receive question they are pointing where to look. it will be nice if you can look again and again, for a whole day and in the morning to describe what is seen but you can find your way and dynamic of this chat.

The 'I' is made of:
breathing in a body
unidentified space inside breathing, inside a body
space both inside and outside a body

So, you can stop use word I and use word space or knowing that breading and body appears, is it like this or no?

this body
a someone with thoughts about itself
knee-jerk reactions to 'others' separate from itself
memories and a history identified with
a personality with attributes
an essence somehow held, compressed, accepted, made mine, owned.

... and thoughts are coming and put a label "mine" to everything that is known, is it like this?
Is there self/I/me which is different from a knowing ?
Stay with this and check what is the truth?
And answer each question in blue :)

Love
Lubo

[freedom2bno1]

I am questioning how much of all this is 'learned belief' and how much is coming from honest observation.
So I'm now only sure that 'I' is being experienced as what's breathing and the sensation of this in the body.

As for the rest, I don't seem to know with any certainty. It's a closed system, with thoughts and feelings and memories and habitual ideas all feeding off one another and producing a 'person'.
But I'm still not sure how much this is what I have heard is true and resonated with in a mind. On the level of mind, I do not trust any of the concepts that arise in it to tell me what 'I' is made of.

Oh, I've just seen that you have replied, Lubo. Thank you. I will take a look at what you say!!!

[freedom2bno1]

First blue question:
Space is first.
Knowing/experiencing breathing and body, and breathing and body seem to arise together.
No, wait, space is still here when breathing and body arise - so does it all arise together? Is the space apart from what arises in it?

Second blue question:
Yes, it is like this some of the time. But also thoughts seem to come from somewhere else and become 'mine' when I notice them and engage with them.

I need to stay with the question: "Is there self/I/me which is different from a knowing?" The knowing is more spacious and real and there seems to be a desire to stay and watch from here. The me is more of a cartoon character, a cardboard cut-out, but even though it's relatively unreal, the knowing still sees it and so it must be part of the knowing. As I said, I'll stay with this pending a clearer view.

Thank you sooooo much for this guidance, Lubo - it's precious.
Love, Mary.

[freedom2bno1]

I'm wondering whether I have properly understood the question: "Is there self/I/me which is different from a knowing?"

There seem to be different kinds of knowing.

Pure Knowing appears to be an active expression of the empty space and one with it in essence. This Pure Knowing is innocent of intent. In this case, the self/I/me is different, yes - in fact it is not found here. As far as this Knowing is concerned, it doesn't exist.

The self/I/me is an object that can only be found/known AFTER it is imagined. It is then 'known' by whatever made it up and made to appear real to itself. The self/I/me and THIS knowing are essentially the same thing, not different.

The question is still active here, so I shall sleep on this and look again in the morning.

Nos da, Lubo

Mary.

[Lubo]

Wow, Mary,
wonderful looking,
I read all your replays but let's look this one only, if you don't mind:

The self/I/me is an object that can only be found/known AFTER it is imagined. It is then 'known' by whatever made it up and made to appear real to itself.

Separate self is imagined yes, it is created by the story that there is someone in the body, in the head who is the owner of the body and thoughts, but this is ridicules :)

The self/I/me and THIS knowing are essentially the same thing, not different

Look around and notice is there an you in anything that is known?
Without the story about imagined me notice: during walking, tea making etc is there an owner or doer of this?

Thank you sooooo much for this guidance, Lubo - it's precious.

It is precious to have you here :)
Much Love
Lubo

[freedom2bno1]

LOOK AROUND AND NOTICE IS THERE A YOU IN ANYTHING THAT IS KNOWN?
Tea mug. At first glance, memories attach to the mug and appear to reflect aspects of the story of me. The tea stain on the side is uncomfortable, suggesting error/shame. It is obvious, though, that habitual projection is going on.

Looking from spaciousness relieves the mug of its personal 'meanings'. It is just a mug now, innocent of association. The tea stain is just a tea stain. The singleness/simplicity of the mug is spacious too, and beautiful. There is no me in it that is known. Spaciousness recognises spaciousness, which feels like freedom. The same goes for anything in the room.

But looking in this way, from spaciousness, is not the automatic act - it takes effort. Or is there looking from spaciousness prior to the ownership of the object by 'me'? Perhaps the ownership is secondary, but so immediate as to leave no perceptible gap? And if this is so, does this show me something about the next question:

WITHOUT THE STORY ABOUT IMAGINED ME NOTICE, DURING WALKING, TEA MAKING ETC IS THERE AN OWNER OR A DOER OF THIS?
Could it be that the stages of looking, described above in relation to objects (eg tea mug) also apply to action/doing? Is the action of walking, tea making etc starting out as just walking or tea-making, innocent of a doer? Is the feeling that 'I' am doing the walking etc a secondary thing, an overlay which appears primary simply because the 'ownership' of the act comes is too immediate for any gap to be perceived? Has the person learned to edit out the gap in order to give itself the illusion of being the doer or the action?
This is all a kind of exploration in the mind. I shall spend the day looking to see what's true in it.

Thank you for these questions, dear Lubo - such beautiful guidance 🙏🏻

[freedom2bno1]

Midday Review: The doing I observe, from the most minimal (blink of an eye, turn of the head, looking up, rubbing an eye, scratching an ear) to apparently intentional stuff like washing-up, cleaning house, walking to the grocery store - is indeed arising BEFORE the I comes in to claim it. Who or what is deciding what to do? Once you notice the gap between doing and ownership of the doing, it becomes obvious that it's this way around, not the other - first the doing, then the claiming of the action by a 'doer' which is 'me'. Perhaps it's the same with less physical doing, like thinking/feeling. And if speaking/writing is conditioned by thinking/feeling and thinking/feeling is involuntary, then it follows that speaking/writing are also, at root, involuntary, with the body being the involuntary agent in the activity.

If all this is true, what is intention? I have an intention to attend a non-dual Zoom meet at 2pm this afternoon. Is an I choosing to attend? A desire arose upon hearing about the subject of the talk, but was the desire actively chosen by me, the doer? No. There was a resonance upon hearing about the meet and a mental note made of the time. There will be a watching of the clock and a logging on shortly before 2pm. All this will happen, unless something else arises to prevent it. But am 'I' intending - is it me deciding and following through with the actions? Is there a person choosing all this who is separate from it?

Back to watching.

[freedom2bno1]

Evening Review:

This spacious, empty looking is expanding. The pop-up storybook 'me' is receding, getting smaller being increasingly seen as insubstantial. It's still vaguely there but as a fiction. It has next to no voice that I can hear this evening. Because it is seen for what it is, it is losing power and letting go its hold. It is not bad or wrong, just surplus to requirement. It was never as strong as it seemed.
Nothing has really changed but the sense of peace seems to be stabilizing rather than coming and going. All continues as it did before when the voice was loud and the person seemed real. The sense of effortlessness is new as is the absence of agitation. There is no saying whether this will last but it doesn't seem to matter. It is welcome while it persists. The 'I' didn't seem to put up much resistance, if any, to its own apparent dissolution. It was almost as if it had seen that its number was up.
Tomorrow I shall not be in solitude as I have been since the guidance began (was that only yesterday?). We shall see what happens.

[Lubo]

Good morning Mary,
What is alive now?

The pop-up storybook 'me' is receding, getting smaller being increasingly seen as insubstantial. It's still vaguely there but as a fiction.

Yes, the me is just a story, a fiction :).
So, there is no me but there is something, start finding what is here?

Love
Lubo

[freedom2bno1]

NIGHT DREAM: I am in a garden where clearing work is being done. It is the garden of my growing up. I do not see the other helpers. There is a sense that they have left. I notice that there is the remains of a large bush or shrub in the left-hand border and I think: that will be difficult to remove. I only have my bare hands to work with, no gardening tools. But I decide to try anyway. The shrub has been a big one so I imagine the roots will be too well anchored in the ground to just pull up easily. I grab the right hand portion of the plant and pull. To my surprise it comes right out of the ground very easily. It is the bigger half of the plant so I know that the remaining part will be even easier to pull out, which it is. When it is done I stand by the unearthed remains which I have dragged onto the lawn and I wait. When the helpers return, they will inspect my work.

Ah, I have just seen the new message - thank you Lubo, I will look into this!
Love
Mary