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Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2020 4:44 am
by Crystal11
LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That the separate self ' story of me' is an illusion that feels real. I understand on an intellectual level that the self is a thought, held together by thoughts (beliefs, ideas, concepts) It feels like it has been searching for twenty plus years for something else.

What are you looking for at LU?
I'm hoping to see through the illusion of the separate self. I want to stop searching, trying to fix or work on myself, which I now realise (intellectually) is the separate self, story of 'me' that really does not exist.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I'm not sure. A guide pointing me to look inward to what is real, here and now through direct experience and guided questions. Possible guided mindful enquiry with a guide. I'm open to the Liberation Unleashed approach.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have been in non dual self enquiry for a few years and have some experience of recently of looking inward to direct experience. I have been on a spiritual journey for 30 years learning many practices including mindful self inquiry.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
10

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2020 5:05 am
by Bananafish
Hi Crystal 11. :) My name is Kento, and I'd be more than glad to be your guide.

The experience of this dialogue might not always be a pleasant one, nor would it be
something during which I teach you some answers for you to soothe yourself with.

The sole end, if any, is to know truth, and everything else, including the often-told story of bliss
truth will bring, is secondary.

If these seem ok for you, let's start.


To start with, could you show "yourself" to me?

It doesn't matter whether it is shown through a post in this thread or
imagining that you were in front of me and telling how you would show it then.

Please show yourself.


Warm regards,

Kento

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2020 1:30 pm
by Crystal11
Hi Kento, nice to connect with you.

I'm not sure what to say when you say 'show yourself'. I will do my best.

I'm Crystal, I feel like I've been on a spiritual search for something more all my life. I wasn't sure what I wasn't sure what exactly I was searching for, maybe be peace of mind, freedom, happiness or to feel okay in my own skin. There have been many times that I have felt that deep sense of okayness, freedom, happiness and wellbeing, but inevitable it doesn't last. I'm 54 years old. I remember being fascinated that people had therapists, someone they could go to share what was on their mind. I've been a personal development junkie, spent most of my life trying to improve or fix myself.

I often feel a sense of discomfort, like I'm not good enough yet and need to learn more or do more. I grew up feeling like I didn't fit in and had to do my best to not stand out.

Seven years ago, I started learning about how the mind creates our experience moment to moment. And how we don't need to take thoughts seriously as they naturally will disappear. More recently, I have been exploring non duality but it all feels so intellectual. A few months ago I started exploring and looking inward to what is here now?

I am a person of colour and what comes up for me is, how can I not exist without this identity, especially with what is going on in the world right now. Saying that I had a thought recently that maybe who or what I am is not limited to this body mind identity.

I'm excited and fearful.

I'm ready to see through the idea of a me, a separate self, (identifying as what ever to many things to count...) does not exist.

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:05 pm
by Bananafish
Hi Crystal. :) Apologies for the delay in responding; didn't get the notification of your message.

Thanks for elaborating. :)

Now, what are you, or where are you without all these stories about yourself?

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:23 pm
by Crystal11
Hello Kento,

I'm still here without the stories, I am aware. I'm alive/exist. But I don't know who I am? and where I am? without the stories. What comes to mind is 'I'm nothing'. But that feels weird and scarey.

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:29 pm
by Bananafish
Thanks, Crystal.


I don't know who I am? and where I am?


OK. What and where are you, when you don't even think about what and where you are?

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:10 am
by Crystal11
OK. What and where are you, when you don't even think about what and where you are?
Not sure, but It seems that I'm just here in this room, located in the head area of the body, Strangely though I have had the experience of not being aware of the body and still being here. Right now I'm in this room, typing, listening, hearing, blinking, breathing, sitting, thinking.

I don't know.

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 11:22 am
by Bananafish
located in the head area of the body


What about this? If you don't have any idea about you being located there, would you
still "feel" that you are there?

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 12:08 pm
by Crystal11
What about this? If you don't have any idea about you being located there, would you
still "feel" that you are there?
I suppose not. I would be here

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 12:36 pm
by Crystal11
And If I don''t have any idea about being located here?

I would be being.

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:43 pm
by Bananafish
What and where is that "I" that's being?

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:56 pm
by Crystal11
It's present every where

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:57 pm
by Bananafish
Did you reach that answer by thinking over it?

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:00 pm
by Crystal11
What and where is that "I" that's being?
It's presence or life and it's everywhere.

Re: Hello, I'm looking for a guide, please

Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:05 pm
by Crystal11
Did you reach that answer by thinking over it?
Yes, the answers came to my mind.

If I don't think about the answer, my answer to all your questions is I don't know for sure.