Do you mean that you are a soul inside a body?
I don't know what a soul is. It's not a word I use. But maybe that's correct.
Now, there are two ways : 1) you have looked at yourself and you find nothing but you don’t believe the seeing.
Or 2) you are confusing yourself with awareness.
When I say "I find nothing" I don't mean that I look and see 'nothing'. I mean that I can not look at what I call me. Just as I cannot look at my eyes, I cannot look at 'me'. I sit and try for hours, and what continually comes up is "what is looking cannot look at ITSELF". That's as far as I get. Then the next day I try for more hours, and that's the same conclusion. I try very hard, but I don't see the 'self' as a potential object, as you apparently do.
Am I confusing myself with awareness? I don't know how to investigate that. Maybe it's true.
I have already said in previous posts that awareness IS, but it is not you.
Awareness is impersonal.
You may be right, but I don't find that in my experience.
I asked a question in the last post : what are you ?
You answered briefly : “I am a mind inside a body”
I was expecting a long description of yourself.
OK, a long description. I am a self that appears to live inside a body. I have been obsessed with Nonduality for many years and want to see my true nature. I have tried many approaches and believe they work for others but not for me. I think there is something wrong with me that I cannot see No-self. The self is the basic unit of what makes up me. I don't want it to be that way, but it seems obvious that it IS that way.
YOU ARE RESISTING TO LOOK. YOU ARE AFRAID TO SEE THERE IS NO YOU.
When you read the text above, what are the thoughts arising? What are the sensations in your body? In the gut, in the chest?
The sensations in my gut and chest are first, anger. As in, "How can Warissem say that? I'm trying so hard!" But then I calm down by telling myself that you have seen this for many years, and perhaps are impatient with someone who just doesn't see. It must be so OBVIOUS for you, and it's not obvious to me, no matter how hard I try. So you conclude that I am afraid to see it.
The next thought is "How could I be afraid to see there is no 'you'? I've spent THOUSANDS and many weeks going to India and sitting on an uncomfortable mat meditating, trying to see this. At no time did I think "I'm going to spend all this money and time to prove the Swami is WRONG! I truly DON'T want to see that there is no 'me'!"
My next thought is "how could ANYONE be resistant to look? Why would they not look? What bad thing do they think will happen? Especially if they are being guided by a volunteer such as you? Are there actually people on Earth who have the thought "I don't want to look, but I LOVE wasting my time and Warissem's time! I'll just keep playing at this because I have SO MUCH spare time to waste, and I'll get nothing out of it but I don't care!" Are there people like that? I can't imagine it.
I watched the video by Ilona you sent. I agree with the part about how the body knows what it wants, and when it needs food, sleep, etc. I know she says the body is not 'my' body, but it's just 'arising'. That's too mystical for me. The body feels like it's my body.