Yes, I can see that. But that does not kill the illusion.So is it possible that you’ve identified with words, sounds and emotions, believing them to be you, in most of your life?
Today I was investigating more the questions you asked me before. I struggled at times a bit with question "is X me?". I was not sure what does it mean "X to be me". But I believe that was because for most of these questions there is no sense of "me", but like I write before I could find it when saying my full name "I, Peter X".
Today I tried many many times and I found a strong thought, which is that "me" in thinking. I think I was ignoring it before and not acknowledging it. The image of concept / object - "me". Most of other thoughts are like bubbles, they come, stay and pop. This "me"-object thought seem like it would be more solid. I can see the believe in it. I even noticed visual thought of golden ball related to it like it would be more solid than the other thoughts. I can see how behind any ownership thought, behind "I, Peter X" is this thought of "me"-object. It seems rather clear there is nothing else than this which is "me". I already looked many times and I know there are only experiences of senses and thoughts and nothing else what could be "me".
There is this "me"-object thought behind it. When I say "this is my body", there is a thought of "me"-object owning this body.We often say ‘MY body’ – so what is it that owns the body?
Well if I inspect it, it has no meaning. It is only a thought. There is nothing in direct experience as "owning". I can't find what it could mean. It is same as saying "this cup is mine". There is this implicit thought that "this cup is owned by "me"-object". But in reality, what would that even mean? I see how "ownership" is only imagined thought. It does not mean it is part of me or that someone else cannot use it or that is somehow linked to me. It is imagined.And how do you know that the body is owned?
It's a thought that there is "me" as an object that owns it.What is it that claims ‘MY body’?
In thinking for all these questions there is this "me"-object to which "owning" is attributed.You have clothes, right? But what is owning them?
What is that makes the clothes “mine”?
What is that claims the clothes to be “MY clothes”?
Does the seeming ‘voice in the head’, the commentator, owns the clothes?
Do thoughts own the clothes?
Does the thought ‘mine’ owns the clothes?
Does word/thought Peter owns the clothes?
Does the label on clothes own the clothes?
Does the label ‘my’ owns the body?
Does the label/word/thought Peter owns the body?
I see that the thought is only ABOUT ownership. Imagined. There is no owning and yes those are totally empty words.Is a thought ABOUT ownership, is an actual ownership?
Is there actual owing going behind those words, or those are just empty words, pointing no actual ownership at all?
Today I investigated this "me"-object thought a lot. Now in the evening as I'm writing this I'm a bit puzzled, that I do not feel I see through it fully. I was frustrated today (there was some resistence to investigate this "me"-object thought), emotional, excited when I acknowledge the "me"-object thought.
I kept looking today repeatedly. I believe that feeling of "me" is weakened most of the time and maybe that's why I was puzzled by "is X me" questions. There is this expectation that it should be clear and default now and maybe it is, but also I'm not 100% sure. I know I should simply ignore this expectation as an hindrance. I maybe expect that the view should be default now, but it is not, I still need to look into details to see thought feeling of "me". At the moment I don't even know what I'm writing :). Thank you for patience with reading my responses and helping me Vivien.
Thanks,
Peter