I really don't know what to look for then. For example help me with this question:Most of the time you are not really looking. You are only write down your thoughts.
What do I look here and now for, to answer this? I look into this moment and see experiences and thoughts. Just that. This is very simple. I notice that yes any need for change is driven by imagined future in thought. So I wroteIf there is no entity with a need, then why would future need to be changed?
What for? And more importantly, for who?
And this is not an intellectual question.
What do I look for here to see really? I see this moment and I see there are sensations and then thoughts. You are asking me for something and I don't know what. I'm doing this again and again. I just see the experiences here in the body, sight and sounds.. and thoughts appearing. I see how the stories in thoughts are driving need or aversion and that is related to bodily sensations. I see that 'me' is only in those thoughts. Is this intellectual? How else I should look?Oh yes, the future is imagined only in thought and then there is a believe in "me" wanting something different to what is now. There must be "me" with this desire.
Well I understand this, it's not like I'm doing this intentionally.It doesn’t matter how much intellectual understanding you have, if you still FEEL to be a separate self in your everyday life. The one thinking, doing, deciding, feeling, suffering, and hoping a better life for himself in the future.
:(Most of your replies in your last post was also just intellectual.
Yees, but how? I really believe I understand this is necessary, but apparently I'm wrong. But I do not know how to accept it more, other than just trying again and again with your help and questions.You have to accept that your intellect is the WORST tool ever for seeing things as they are.
I'm also continuing with the exercise, every 10m I interrupt my work and for a minute I try to look here and now. What is going on - what sensations and thoughts are appearing. I think it's helping quite a lot to notice thoughts and notice just this moment, here and now.