Relationships

[Kaliva]

Can you by simply sensing know how tall you are?
Can you by using DE tell that you are lying on something or is there only a physical sensation?
Can you say how many toes you have?
Is there a body?

No, I can't say how many fingers I have. I can't say how tall I am and I can't feel that I have a body - it's all in my imagination, but I can't know if it's true. Just some sensations that become vague, in the sense that they somehow move away from me ... me .... I'm not sure if I'm experiencing these sensations ... they are so distant and happen on ... I don't know ... who ..

[Jadzia]

Imagination? Thoughts content, not to be found in DE.

I'm not sure if I'm experiencing these sensations ... they are so distant and happen on ... I don't know ... who

What tells that sensation is distant?
For a moment lay down again and just follow sensation, or sensations, just have an eye on them. What is observed?

Love,
Jadzia

[Kaliva]

Don't let yourself be fooled by the easy - easy exercises tend to have lots of layers which can be discovered. :)

It turned out that it is very difficult for me to stay this way, only with feelings ... It is difficult for me to stop thinking, to stop defining and fantasizing ... I keep trying

[Jadzia]

No need to stop anything, it is more a gentle disengaging of thoughts, fantasies, they can run in the background. So when engaging happens, fine, no judgement just gentle disengaging again and again. Be happy that you get the moment drifting off happens.
And yes, just to stay in the moment, only with the senses takes a bit of training but it is so worthwhile. :-)

Love,
Jadzia

[Kaliva]

Hi, I'm delaying my answer because I tried the exercise a few times, I didn't succeed and somehow I lost my focus. Losing interest and motivation is typical for me and now it is somehow difficult for me to return to the topic. I put off writing to you because I was wondering what to tell you. But that's what it is. I want to ask if it's possible to get back to our conversations after a while when I want to or is the case closing?

[Jadzia]

How about taking a big breath and we simply restart? :-)

When you imagine for a moment that there never was an entitiy called self who did the thinking, the deciding, the choosing, who plans all the action - how do you feel? If life would be a flow simply happening?

Love,
Jadzia

[Kaliva]

When you imagine for a moment that there never was an entitiy called self who did the thinking, the deciding, the choosing, who plans all the action - how do you feel?

I feel like an observer, like I'm watching a movie.

If life would be a flow simply happening?

Yes, it may be a flow, but we have to make decisions every day, don't we? Do we not influence the flow in this way?

[Jadzia]

I feel like an observer, like I'm watching a movie.

How does it make you feel when you allow for a moment that there is no entity called self, no one who decides or plans or talks - all simply happening?
Does this make you feel good, or is it strange?

And what if observer and the movie would be one and the same?

Yes, it may be a flow, but we have to make decisions every day, don't we? Do we not influence the flow in this way?

Who is making a decision?
Please point to the one making the decision? Is it like a finger pointing back at you? Is it someone sitting in your head? Who and where is the one making decisions?

Love,
Jadzia

[Kaliva]

How does it make you feel when you allow for a moment that there is no entity called self, no one who decides or plans or talks - all simply happening?
Does this make you feel good, or is it strange?

If I imagine this, I feel both good and strange. Okay, because it sounds kind of liberating and weird because ... it's weird. Because I'm used to thinking I make the decisions, I do the things, I play in this movie. And how many times did I say "I"? Are you asking me? Aren't you asking ME? Do I have to imagine that there is no separate "I"? Who should think right now as I write?

Who is making a decision?
Please point to the one making the decision? Is it like a finger pointing back at you? Is it someone sitting in your head? Who and where is the one making decisions?

Who decides to read what you have written and write an answer?

[Jadzia]

If I imagine this, I feel both good and strange.

Yes, it is liberating and it is strange because this is oposite to everything you believed up to now.
Is this what you meant by weird?
It is good to be aware if fear appears, doubt, akwardness or whatever - we can look into everything.

Do I have to imagine that there is no separate "I"? Who should think right now as I write?

Imagining things? No, the oposite is the interesting bit. It is interesting to leave the imagining behind, the world of belief and make do and to find our what it is really like once all beliefs are dropped.

Please point to the one making the decision? Is it like a finger pointing back at you? Is it someone sitting in your head? Who and where is the one making decisions?

So let me rephrase this.
Do you find an I, as seperate entity, the decider, chooser, thinker and so on, somewhere?
If you look is there a feeling of I? And where is it located?

See, when one appears here in this forum most people have a strong feeling they are all this things mentioned above. They think they decide, control their life, choose what to do or not, they are the one who hears, dreams, sees.
So what we is look for is for the one doing all this. This I has to be found somewhere.
So, where would you point to when you say "I"?

Love,
Jadzia

[Kaliva]

Yes, it is liberating and it is strange because this is oposite to everything you believed up to now.
Is this what you meant by weird?

Yes, yes ... That's what I meant. The error is in google translator.

So let me rephrase this.
Do you find an I, as seperate entity, the decider, chooser, thinker and so on, somewhere?
If you look is there a feeling of I? And where is it located?

I read somewhere that the brain makes a decision 30 seconds before a person realizes this ... I wonder if this is so where am I? I thought about the location of the "I" and came to the conclusion that I would only point to my body. This body is me. But where is "I" in my mind? I can't determine it. There are thoughts about me, ideas and beliefs about who I am ...

[Jadzia]

es, yes ... That's what I meant. The error is in google translator.

Good. :-), yes Google translate has its moments...

I thought about the location of the "I" and came to the conclusion that I would only point to my body. This body is me. But where is "I" in my mind? I can't determine it. There are thoughts about me, ideas and beliefs about who I am ...

What makes the body into 'my body'?
And where exactly do you find the I in the body?
And yes, there are thoughts about a me/I. Ideas and beliéfs aren't they thoughts too?

Try if you can to write something daily, you shouldn't force yourself but daily helps to keep in the process.

Love,
Jadzia

[Kaliva]

What makes the body into 'my body'?
And where exactly do you find the I in the body?
And yes, there are thoughts about a me/I. Ideas and beliéfs aren't they thoughts too?

I can't pinpoint ... It's like I've been looking at this body since I was born, looking at others, "It's you," looking at myself, and saying, "It's me." I take care of this body, I bathe it, I dress it, I feed it ... Ooo .. As I write this I realize that I am talking about something separate from me, about "him, it - the body" ... it is confusing .. The mind does not accept it..and what turns out? That "I" was invented by us? That the individual self is some construction of the mind? But how could it be otherwise? Is it possible to live without this distinction? And is it a coincidence that he has it? I think that our psyche is so structured, the small child is just beginning to differentiate his "self" .. Isn't that our nature?

[Jadzia]

It's like I've been looking at this body since I was born, looking at others, "It's you," looking at myself, and saying, "It's me.

Lets have a look. Does anyone know the words for you or me shortly after been born?
Actually a baby isn't able to differentiate between itself and the mother. You can check in the internet and see how babies develope physically, emotionally and psychology wise.

As I write this I realize that I am talking about something separate from me, about "him, it - the body" ... it is confusing

So the I can't be in the body, since the I seems like separate from it.
So again, where is the I located, where can it be found?
Have a good proper look, try again and again.

That "I" was invented by us? That the individual self is some construction of the mind?

Have a close look.
What if this possibility would be the truth? What would this truth make you feel like?

Love,
Jadzia

[Kaliva]

Lets have a look. Does anyone know the words for you or me shortly after been born?
Actually a baby isn't able to differentiate between itself and the mother. You can check in the internet and see how babies develope physically, emotionally and psychology wise.

I didn't speak correctly ... I know that a baby doesn't differentiate between itself and its mother after it is born, I meant the moment it starts to differentiate. This happens around the third year. And how does this happen? Isn't it natural for him to start thinking of himself as a separate self? How else would it be? It's hard for me to imagine it ...

So the I can't be in the body, since the I seems like separate from it.
So again, where is the I located, where can it be found?
Have a good proper look, try again and again.

I try again and again and I can't find it. I can't say that there is a localized self in me. There is only an image in my mind, something like my picture.

Have a close look.
What if this possibility would be the truth? What would this truth make you feel like?

Somewhere in myself I believe that it is so. I know it is so. And I feel kind of bad because I realize the limitations of my mind. It's hard for me to feel it, to really feel it. My mind says, "And what if it is? Well, there is no separate self and what of it? You have so much work and commitment, from morning to night ... how is this idea useful to you? The reality you live in is as limited as you are. Shut up and do your job ... it doesn't make sense, you don't have to think about it, it doesn't help you ... "