And how do you know that fear is the right label, and not excitement or anticipation? If you don’t listen to thoughts, can you know anything about the sensation?
It’s an intense sensation. I’ve noticed it plenty of times before but I mistook it for excitement or anticipation. It’s a tingling feeling.
Sensations are the same… only the label makes any difference.
If you have an excitement of meeting somebody, that can be labelled as ‘fear’, or as excitement, or even love.
It’s all about the label.
Does the sensation itself know anything about fear, resistance, excitement?
Or all these information coming only from thoughts, and from the raw experience of the sensation?
Sometimes all around the body, sometimes just in the upper back. It’s like the feeling you get just before you jump off the top diving board at the swimming pool.
And you can feel the same sensations when you have a date with someone. Just notice that only a label makes any difference.
It rises up every time I start looking at experience and thinking about how it’s all happening by itself. It’s definitely the feeling of resistance. That’s the only thing I’m sure about. Despite its intensity, I have no idea why the resistance is there. When I said it was the fear of losing control I was really just (unknowingly!) reiterating what I’ve read in books. I’ve been looking for days now and I really don’t know.
That’s why you need to be super honest both with yourself and with me.
That is just a raw sensation, nothing important, but thoughts create all sorts of stories around them. Just drop the story, drop the label and see that this is just an innocent sensation :)
No let’s go back to the notion of control.
So what is it exactly that you are in control of right now?
Spend a whole day looking at this, and list everything you find. Please make a thorough list. Let it be long.