Hello

[Tomahawk297]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I conceptually understand that there is no me separate from life. Life just is, and I’m conditioned to believe that I am separate from life. I’ve had intense moments of just being, but always “lose” this sense after some time.

What are you looking for at LU?
Truth realization. The unraveling and dissolving of untruth. To dissolve what currently claims to be “the seeker”, to put an end to the nonstop efforting and seeking. In whatever way shape or form, I’m just looking for truth regardless of what it is and how it comes.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Guidance into liberation. I don’t know exactly what this will look like but It doesn’t matter as long as it brings me to truth. I am desperate for realization and am prepared to undergo any kind of work for it.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have done about 4 years of consistent mindful meditation, recently I’ve done a few dozen self inquiry meditations.. I’ve had many experiences with LSD, mushrooms, DMT, and ayahuasca all in the name of gaining spiritual wisdom. I have read 2 Eckhart Tolle books several times over, watched many of his videos, purchased one of his courses. I have watched endless videos on awakening from numerous teachers online. Lately I’ve felt enormous pressure to uncover ultimate truth which has largely paralyzed my personal life because I have no motivation for anything else at this time.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[Vivien]

Hi,

Welcome to Liberation Unleashed. My name is Vivien and I can assist you with your inquiry.

This is going to be your inquiry. I will not be giving you new ideas and beliefs; only assisting you in examining and questioning the ones that you already have. We can have a conversation and see where it takes you.

The purpose of which would be for there to be a realisation, more than just intellectually, that there never was and never will be a separate self, as, such. All our efforts will focus on that.

I will tend to ask many questions. That's my job here. These, will be pointers towards no self. It will be for you to examine your experience to find out what's true or not.

I would like to ask you to write only from your experience as you see it, what feels true, with whole honesty.
And also post daily. If you cannot post, or need more time, please let me know.
Can we agree on these?

Could you please tell me what are you really looking for? How would your life change if you find that?
What are you hoping for to change?
What do you hope that should happen?
Do you have an image in mind how seeing through the self-illusion would be like or feel like?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

Hi,

Welcome to Liberation Unleashed. My name is Vivien and I can assist you with your inquiry.

This is going to be your inquiry. I will not be giving you new ideas and beliefs; only assisting you in examining and questioning the ones that you already have. We can have a conversation and see where it takes you.

The purpose of which would be for there to be a realisation, more than just intellectually, that there never was and never will be a separate self, as, such. All our efforts will focus on that.

I will tend to ask many questions. That's my job here. These, will be pointers towards no self. It will be for you to examine your experience to find out what's true or not.

I would like to ask you to write only from your experience as you see it, what feels true, with whole honesty.
And also post daily. If you cannot post, or need more time, please let me know.
Can we agree on these?

Could you please tell me what are you really looking for? How would your life change if you find that?
What are you hoping for to change?
What do you hope that should happen?
Do you have an image in mind how seeing through the self-illusion would be like or feel like?

Vivien

Hi Vivien, thank you for your response and please excuse my late response. I had a hiccup getting logged in but finally figured it out.

I agree with what you’ve said and will make a point to post here daily.

I am looking for liberation from suffering. I am seeking the realization of the absence of self.

If I find what I am looking for I feel that the challenges in life will be experienced from a groundedness in truth which brings with it a constant background of spaciousness. Comparatively, I currently get caught up in identification with self and experience challenges as though the whole world is falling apart and that everything essential is at risk and on an unsturdy and risky foundation.

I’m hoping that all the suffering, uncertainty (the fearful kind), and seeking will come to an end.

I’m hoping that I anchor in truth, regardless of what that may be.

When I imagine seeing through the self illusion and what it may be like, I imagine that I’ll become intensely spacious. That there is space around every thought, action, and emotion that happens. That I’ll feel anchored in the peace of truth, the peace of the eternal present moment. Although things on the surface, the external, may seem hectic or be challenging... it’ll be like ripples on the surface of the ocean. The ripples are still experienced, but “i” am rooted in the ocean (or being/source/God) and so the ripples are experienced exactly as they are instead of making them into some big deal and getting caught up in the ripples. I also envision my body being an instrument for the universe, divine intelligence flowing through to manifest itself into this world.

I’ve had a few tastes of seeing through the veil, to a certain extent at least, and lately it has become evident to me that spiritual growth is the most important thing for me at this time, I’ve tried to put attention elsewhere, but there’s a force driving me to keep going. At the same time I can see the ego reaching for distractions. It’s as if there’s a battle going on, a battle for attention. On one side the ego is trying to preserve itself and fulfill its desires and on the other side I’m being pulled to awaken, to keep shedding untruths. It’s not exactly the most pleasant thing I’ve experienced. But I suppose that’s only because there’s a fictitious “I” to experience in the first place.

My daughter, who is 4 year old, we named Maya. Not sure why, didn’t even know what it meant until about a year ago. It just came to mind and we loved it, we knew it was the girls name of choice as soon as we brainstormed it. Couldn’t ever settle on a boy’s name. But, she ended up being a girl. I now feel as if it might have significant meaning in my life.

I’ll end it there. I thank you and look forward to future communications.

[Vivien]

Hi Tomahawk297,

What name do you want me to call you?

I would like to ask you to learn to use the quotation function, so our conversation will be easier to read later for both of us.
So here is the link to a video how to quote:
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

Thank you for getting through these questions about expectations. It’s important, because every expectation is in a way of seeing what is here, right now.

Every expectation is a ‘hindrance’ in realizing what IS. Expectations result in comparison. Comparison between what is happening, and the imagined expectation. Thus what has been seen can be thrown out or ignored, since it doesn’t match the expected outcome.

I conceptually understand that there is no me separate from life. Life just is, and I’m conditioned to believe that I am separate from life

But here there is still a belief in a self, a self which is not separate from life. So a non-separate self.
But there is no self in any shape or form. Separate or non-separate self, both are just an illusion.
There is only life.
But there is no I being not separate from life.
There is just life happening. Without any I or self.

I am seeking the realization of the absence of self.

Yes, this is what this inquiry all about.
Seeing the absence of a self.
But not just the absence of a separate self, but any self.

I am looking for liberation from suffering.

I hear you. We all want to be free from suffering. But when there is suffering, it’s not just because there is a belief in a self. Suffering happens when certain stimuli poke or touch our ‘wounds inside’. Those wounds are not a person/self. The self is just an added on narrative.

And the personality stays almost completely intact when the self is seen through. All the conditionings from childhood, all the traumas, all the gathered emotional pains won’t dissolve in an instant just because the self is seen through. These most likely will stay, however, they are much more accessible and easier to work with after seeing through the illusion. This is just the first step, just the beginning, and not the end. The falling away of conditioning can last at the end of the organism.

If I find what I am looking for I feel that the challenges in life will be experienced from a groundedness in truth which brings with it a constant background of spaciousness

But this assumes that you can have a different experience than what is happening now.
But what if there is no you at all, who could experience life from a groundedness in truth?
What if freedom is seeing that life doesn’t happen to you? What if freedom is seeing the life happens WIHTOUT a you? That there is no one having any experience, included being grounded in truth?

Comparatively, I currently get caught up in identification with self

But this assumes that there is another you outside of the self.
So there are two of you.

1. The self
2. The one that is identifies with the self

But what if there is not one, not two, but ZERO self/you?

I’m hoping that all the suffering, uncertainty (the fearful kind), and seeking will come to an end.

This is very unlikely for the reasons I mentioned before. The chance for this is close to zero. Since in order to suffering significantly lessen, you have to deal with the emotional wounds. And those wounds are there with or without the belief in the self.

I’m hoping that I anchor in truth, regardless of what that may be.

You see, you believe that there is a you who could anchor in truth. But the one who wants to anchor in truth IS the fictional self. There is no other you, or other self, then the imaginary self.

When I imagine seeing through the self illusion and what it may be like, I imagine that I’ll become intensely spacious.

But what if there is no you to become spacious?

That I’ll feel anchored in the peace of truth, the peace of the eternal present moment.

Happiness or peace is a state, and no states are permanent, they are all subject to change. Seeing through the separate individual is not about not having any ‘bad’ or uncomfortable feelings any more. Rather it’s about seeing that emotions don’t belong to anything. They are free floating without being tied to or anchored to anything.

Many seekers believe that seeing through the separate individual is a completely different state that they are currently having, with some special qualities (happiness, bliss, constant peace or whatever). However, this is not the case. Seeing through the illusion that there is a separate entity (self) is not a state. When it is SEEN it, the knowledge becomes factual. Many seekers have the impression that seeing there is no self is a state to ‘abide in’. It's not.

I also envision my body being an instrument for the universe, divine intelligence flowing through to manifest itself into this world.

This is a HUGE and very unrealistic expectation. This is a dream based on the belief in a self, and by ‘awakening’ this self can become something very special, some supernatural, or superhuman precious entity. Sorry to shatter this image, but this is a dream. This has nothing to do with reality.

On one side the ego is trying to preserve itself and fulfill its desires and on the other side I’m being pulled to awaken,

And what if there is no you apart for ego?
What is self = you = ego?
What if there is only one illusion masquerading as many (as self, as I who could awaken, as ego)?

to keep shedding untruths.

This is exactly what we are going to do. And this starts with your expectations and your ideas about who you think you are.

It simply cannot know in advance how it will be. Why? Because all expectations come on behalf of a separate self, who is always in a search for peace, happiness, lack of fear and suffering. We simply cannot imagine it, since we cannot step outside form the separate self’s perspective. We can only imagine within the dream of me. The illusionary me is simply unable to imagine how it would be if it were discovered to be just a fictional character, and not a reality. It can only imagine what it wants for itself.

Please ponder on my comments to see your expectations from a different perspective. Because what I can say for sure, it won’t be how you imagine it to be. Since it cannot be known in advance. It’s never how one imagines it to be.

So it would be the best, if you could drop all your expectations, and just to be a clean slate.

Please, put all the books and videos aside, we are going to be focusing on what you see, rather than what you have learned. Can we agree on this?

Before starting, please read my above comments carefully a few more times and tell me what comes up by reading the comments about the expectations.
Is there any resistance to any of it?

Do you feel ready to start the investigation?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

What name do you want me to call you?

Jared

I would like to ask you to learn to use the quotation function, so our conversation will be easier to read later for both of us.
So here is the link to a video how to quote:
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

Absolutely! I believe I’ve got it figured out.

Thank you for getting through these questions about expectations. It’s important, because every expectation is in a way of seeing what is here, right now.

Every expectation is a ‘hindrance’ in realizing what IS. Expectations result in comparison. Comparison between what is happening, and the imagined expectation. Thus what has been seen can be thrown out or ignored, since it doesn’t match the expected outcome.

So throw away expectation and seek only to see clearly, no matter what labels and expectations mind may want to stamp onto it.

But here there is still a belief in a self, a self which is not separate from life. So a non-separate self.
But there is no self in any shape or form. Separate or non-separate self, both are just an illusion.
There is only life.
But there is no I being not separate from life.
There is just life happening. Without any I or self.

So I’m currently communicating as an illusory self. But I am not that. Everything just is. There’s nothing actually even communicating as an illusory self, communicating is just happening. But that feels like something mind just pulled out of its memory for validation, not really direct experience. Need to look closer.

Yes, this is what this inquiry all about.
Seeing the absence of a self.
But not just the absence of a separate self, but any self.

Right. Self is just a label which points to nothing.

I hear you. We all want to be free from suffering. But when there is suffering, it’s not just because there is a belief in a self. Suffering happens when certain stimuli poke or touch our ‘wounds inside’. Those wounds are not a person/self. The self is just an added on narrative.

And the personality stays almost completely intact when the self is seen through. All the conditionings from childhood, all the traumas, all the gathered emotional pains won’t dissolve in an instant just because the self is seen through. These most likely will stay, however, they are much more accessible and easier to work with after seeing through the illusion. This is just the first step, just the beginning, and not the end. The falling away of conditioning can last at the end of the organism.

I see. I’ve read in some spiritual literature that awakening is only the beginning and I suppose this is what they were referring to.

But this assumes that you can have a different experience than what is happening now.
But what if there is no you at all, who could experience life from a groundedness in truth?
What if freedom is seeing that life doesn’t happen to you? What if freedom is seeing the life happens WIHTOUT a you? That there is no one having any experience, included being grounded in truth?

That brought up some feelings of anxiety. Illusory self does not like that. But that also suggests a self other than illusory self....

But I’m here for truth, regardless of what that looks like.

But this assumes that there is another you outside of the self.
So there are two of you.

1. The self
2. The one that is identifies with the self

But what if there is not one, not two, but ZERO self/you?

So what is identified with self? Nothing is identified with self? Is it just illusion that mind is trying to piece together but is unable to be comprehended at the level of mind? Confusion.

This is very unlikely for the reasons I mentioned before. The chance for this is close to zero. Since in order to suffering significantly lessen, you have to deal with the emotional wounds. And those wounds are there with or without the belief in the self.

So the personality has wounds, but not self? So there is something that can be wounded which is real? The spiritual education I’ve read or listened to would have me believe that once the illusion is recognized all suffering basically falls away.

You see, you believe that there is a you who could anchor in truth. But the one who wants to anchor in truth IS the fictional self. There is no other you, or other self, then the imaginary self

.

I love how you can point out so clearly the misstep. Who am I, then? If there’s no false me, no real me, who am I? In my inquiry meditations I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress. I am aware, I can sense that at least. But who am I? I know labels aren’t going to do it. Mind can’t comprehend it, but it sure tries to. When sitting down and inquiring in meditation mind will select some sensation and say “I’ve got it, that’s it!”

But what if there is no you to become spacious?

I’m open to investigating further into this idea.

Happiness or peace is a state, and no states are permanent, they are all subject to change. Seeing through the separate individual is not about not having any ‘bad’ or uncomfortable feelings any more. Rather it’s about seeing that emotions don’t belong to anything. They are free floating without being tied to or anchored to anything.

Many seekers believe that seeing through the separate individual is a completely different state that they are currently having, with some special qualities (happiness, bliss, constant peace or whatever). However, this is not the case. Seeing through the illusion that there is a separate entity (self) is not a state. When it is SEEN it, the knowledge becomes factual. Many seekers have the impression that seeing there is no self is a state to ‘abide in’. It's not.

I see. I have followed the teachings of Eckhart Tolle for some time now and am describing these former expectations based on what he would teach and describe it like. I’ve found myself here after a lessening resonance with Eckart’s teachings, though they were largely helpful for where I was at a certain point. I started to feel as though there may have been some fluff or a piece missing, there’s a feeling that you may have encountered some of his previous students before, not sure if relevant or not.

This is a HUGE and very unrealistic expectation. This is a dream based on the belief in a self, and by ‘awakening’ this self can become something very special, some supernatural, or superhuman precious entity. Sorry to shatter this image, but this is a dream. This has nothing to do with reality.

No apologies required I appreciate you shattering that. Thats why I am here :)

And what if there is no you apart for ego?
What is self = you = ego?
What if there is only one illusion masquerading as many (as self, as I who could awaken, as ego)?

This is all stuff that I know intellectually from reading, so as I read it’s coming up from memory. But also at a certain level it feels like that knowing was already there. Like a long lost brother I haven’t seen since toddler age, it feels as if there’s already some distant experiential familiarity. I’m not sure what that is.

This is exactly what we are going to do. And this starts with your expectations and your ideas about who you think you are.

It simply cannot know in advance how it will be. Why? Because all expectations come on behalf of a separate self, who is always in a search for peace, happiness, lack of fear and suffering. We simply cannot imagine it, since we cannot step outside form the separate self’s perspective. We can only imagine within the dream of me. The illusionary me is simply unable to imagine how it would be if it were discovered to be just a fictional character, and not a reality. It can only imagine what it wants for itself.

Please ponder on my comments to see your expectations from a different perspective. Because what I can say for sure, it won’t be how you imagine it to be. Since it cannot be known in advance. It’s never how one imagines it to be.

So it would be the best, if you could drop all your expectations, and just to be a clean slate.

No expectations. Only truth. With all of the spiritual expectations built up during seeking and reading spiritual content this may not be the easiest thing to do but i will keep focus as best as I can on truth without the fluff and distraction of expectation.

Please, put all the books and videos aside, we are going to be focusing on what you see, rather than what you have learned. Can we agree on this?

Agreed. Books, down. YouTube, deleted. This morning I cancelled my Eckhart Tolle Course subscription due to not resonating with it and having found myself here. I have gathered an abundance of intellectual spiritual information and it hasn’t gotten me far. It’s obviously in the best interest of truth to cut the spiritual entertainment out.

Before starting, please read my above comments carefully a few more times and tell me what comes up by reading the comments about the expectations.
Is there any resistance to any of it?

There is a little resistance and it seems to be due to holding onto the expectations as a trophy of all I’ve learned through my spiritual seeking thus far. And now I should just throw it all away? All I’ve worked towards? I’ve gotten so far and now I should just become a blank slate again?

That’s what comes out when I give attention to the resistance, but it’s not all that strong. It was quite easily let go of.

Just a few days ago the realization came that with as many years and hours I’ve dedicated to spiritual videos, books, etc, it’s never really gone anywhere. It’s given me a head full of information, that’s about it. Your directness and cutting through the fluff is so refreshing.

Do you feel ready to start the investigation?

There’s never been a more perfect moment.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

I see. I’ve read in some spiritual literature that awakening is only the beginning and I suppose this is what they were referring to.

Yes, it’s just the beginning, just the first step.

So the personality has wounds, but not self? So there is something that can be wounded which is real? The spiritual education I’ve read or listened to would have me believe that once the illusion is recognized all suffering basically falls away.

Look, we are not trying to understand what has a wounds, since in reality there is literally nobody to have any wound. There are only the wounds, collected throughout the existence of the organism. These exists as conditioned patters, behaviours and emotional responses to certain stimuli. These patters won’t be wiped out just because the self is seen to be illusionary. This is just the beginning. The falling away of conditioning can lasts at the end of the organism.

So what is identified with self? Nothing is identified with self? Is it just illusion that mind is trying to piece together but is unable to be comprehended at the level of mind? Confusion.

I’d rather not reply to this, since I don’t want to give you more intellectual information. You already have too many :) Rather, during our investigation you will be able to discover it for yourself.

I love how you can point out so clearly the misstep. Who am I, then? If there’s no false me, no real me, who am I? In my inquiry meditations I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress. I am aware, I can sense that at least. But who am I? I know labels aren’t going to do it.

How do you know that there is an I at all? – your answers will be answered from your own investigation of reality. There is no point for me giving you more information. The ones I already given I did only to show a different perspective than what you had. Just to shake things up.

But I won’t teach you anything, except one thing… how to see things for yourself. How to discover reality as it is in your own immediate experience, and not as a second-hand intellectual information.

So for this reason, I would like to ask you that write only what FEELS TRUE in your experience. Please don’t write anything that you just understand intellectually, or if you do that, please indicate that that is just an intellectual understanding. Since there are only your written words I can work with; and if you write something that you just understand but you don’t see it in experience, then you are giving a false impression that you can see something while you can’t.

So can we agree that you will write what you can actually see in that moment, and not what you’ve learned?

There is a little resistance and it seems to be due to holding onto the expectations as a trophy of all I’ve learned through my spiritual seeking thus far. And now I should just throw it all away? All I’ve worked towards? I’ve gotten so far and now I should just become a blank slate again?

Yes! Since as you’ve discovered all those information didn’t get you far.
Actually, they are occupying ‘space’. I mean, if you are at the stance of ‘I ALREADY know’, then there is no place and openness to any new or different to discover. If I already know, then I won’t do a deep and thorough investigation, I won’t make too much or any effort at all, why would I? I already know the answer.

There’s never been a more perfect moment.

We are going to start to have some deep investigation about thoughts.

What do you do exactly in order to think?
How do you make (or birth) thoughts into existence?

Please be careful not to think about these questions, but actually sit and NOTICE how you think, how you do it exactly. So don’t go to theories, speculations, philosophy, or any learned information. Just notice what is happening here now in the immediacy of your own experience.

Please spend a whole day investigating these questions. Look again and again and again. Even if the answer seems to be clear, look more.

This investigation is about persistent repetition. Looking at the same thing again and again in experience, what brings about the realization.

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

Please spend a whole day investigating these questions. Look again and again and again. Even if the answer seems to be clear, look more.

Thank you, I’ll be exploring this today and will post back tonight or tomorrow.

[Vivien]

All right, thank you for letting me know :)

[Tomahawk297]

What do you do exactly in order to think?
How do you make (or birth) thoughts into existence?

For the most part thought seems to just appear, without any conscious influence. They’re just happening. Kind of like the heart just beats, thoughts are just happening in a similar way.

But when attention is moved to thought, it’s like they can be birthed consciously as a specific thought. Kind of how breathing typically just happens but when attention is placed on the breathing it can be influenced into a specific rhythm.

But then I asked who is doing the birthing of these conscious and specific thoughts, and I couldn't really find an answer. I asked where thoughts are coming from (the “unconscious” ones) and I couldn’t find an answer for that either.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

But when attention is moved to thought, it’s like they can be birthed consciously as a specific thought.

OK, let’s try this out.

Try to birth a thought into existence. How do you do it EXACTLY?
What do you do exactly for this thought to appear from nothing?

And how do you decide what to think? How do you choose the topic?

Before you say “I’ve decided to think about a pink elephant” look very closely how you birth this deciding thought (of a pink elephant) into existence?

Can you know the thought of “I’ve decided to think about this or that” BEFORE this deciding thought has appeared?

Can you know this deciding thought in advance, BEFORE it is there?
Or you can know a thought (any thought) only when it’s ALREADY there?

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

Try to birth a thought into existence. How do you do it EXACTLY?
What do you do exactly for this thought to appear from nothing?

I don’t know. It just happens. But at a certain level it seems like there is a difference between that thought and other thoughts which seem more automatic. When I look at it more closely, it just seems automatic. But somehow less automatic than the other thoughts? But I can’t shake the thought of having some kind of influence over it somehow somewhere.

And how do you decide what to think? How do you choose the topic?

Attention is placed onto something and then the thought forms from there about whatever attention’s focal point is.

Before you say “I’ve decided to think about a pink elephant” look very closely how you birth this deciding thought (of a pink elephant) into existence?

I can’t put my finger on it. I can’t see anything there.

Can you know the thought of “I’ve decided to think about this or that” BEFORE this deciding thought has appeared?

No, I can’t seem to find that thought. Perhaps it is there and I’m just not seeing it, but I’ve been sitting with this one for a little while and can’t seem to find that prerequisite thought.

Can you know this deciding thought in advance, BEFORE it is there?

It doesn’t seem that I can. It’s just not there and then it is there.

Or you can know a thought (any thought) only when it’s ALREADY there?

This seems to be the case. As if there are certain thoughts (the “more conscious” ones) which responsibility and ownership is being taken of and then there is the illusion of having been there dictating the whole thing.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

You replied VERY quickly. You simply had not enough time to deeply investigate.

There is no point rushing through something you cannot see clearly.

I would like to ask you to do every inquiry for a whole day. Please don’t reply too quickly. Spend as much time as you can every day looking at that day’s pointers, again and again and again. You can have one or two longer sessions, but also please try to incorporate several small (10 seconds each) mini session into your daily life.

And when the reply seems to be clear, look more. Look at the same thing again and again.

It’s this continuous and repeated looking and looking again and again, what brings about the realization.

So, please stay with these same questions for a whole day. Look about 50-100 times before replying.
Tomorrow, please answer the same questions again.

Vivien

[Tomahawk297]

I will do this, thank you Vivien.

[Tomahawk297]

Try to birth a thought into existence. How do you do it EXACTLY?
What do you do exactly for this thought to appear from nothing?

And how do you decide what to think? How do you choose the topic?

Before you say “I’ve decided to think about a pink elephant” look very closely how you birth this deciding thought (of a pink elephant) into existence?

Can you know the thought of “I’ve decided to think about this or that” BEFORE this deciding thought has appeared?

Can you know this deciding thought in advance, BEFORE it is there?
Or you can know a thought (any thought) only when it’s ALREADY there?

I can only know a thought that’s already there. After a while of investigating frustration arose more and more with each attempt of finding the answers. Feeling as though “I” should have been getting closer to the answers with no progress at all, frustration and confusion came in.

I eventually decided to call it enough and just submit that I cannot seem to know the answer to those questions.

[Vivien]

Hi Jared,

Feeling as though “I” should have been getting closer to the answers

And what answer do you expect? And what form?
Do you expect that a thought will come telling how things works?
Or what do you expect exactly?

Is this investigation about waiting for an answer to arrive?
Or is it about noticing what is actually happening here now?

I eventually decided to call it enough and just submit that I cannot seem to know the answer to those questions.

IF you want to know the answer, it means that you are thinking. You are trying to figure out how all this works.
But this inquiry is not about thinking, it’s about simply noticing how things are in reality.

You are making the statement that you have a power to birth or make a thought into existence.
You are making the statement that you are thinking. That you make thoughts happen.

So please tell me what do you do exactly when you investigate those questions I gave you? What do you do exactly when you investigate the question ‘how do you decide what to think’?

Vivien