let's start

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johnboy
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:28 am

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
resistance to answering this! cos I don't want to get into 'explaining' it. I've had moments in the past, some longer, some shorter, of having seen thru, and dwelling in a state of continual coming into being. With no desire nor need to interfere. A state of openness, expansion, continual isness and creativity. I know this is the next step for me.

What are you looking for at LU?
I'm looking to reduce my near-continual states of anxiety. I have many friends who have done LU and the tell me it will help. I want to lighten the load i am carrying thru life. I am near to seeing thru. I have been walking round the outside of this for years and years. I am ready now to enter thru the gateless

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I want to be guided. i expect to be given pointers, questions to investigate within my own felt senses, my own body sensations and responses. I m not interested in philosophical time wasting. I expect to be followed and led. In a dance.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I've been at it for more than 40 years. Buddhism with FWBO and Triratna since 1982. I am a member of Triratna Buddhist order. Since 1992 i have explored body movement and dance, which I now teach.This has helped tremendously in bringing me back into my body and feeling my feelings. For twenty years my main teacher has been Fanny Behrens who teaches Awakening in and thru the body, Incorporated Presence. I teach Rewilding and neoshamanism and Biodanza

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
9

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: let's start

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Wed Jul 08, 2020 12:03 pm

Hi John,

Thank you for your introduction - much appreciated.

We could explore this together if you'd like? - see what shows up.

Just let me know and we'll set off.

With best wishes,
john
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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johnboy
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Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:02 pm

Hello, yes I'm ready to explore, thanks

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: let's start

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:10 pm

Hello, yes I'm ready to explore, thanks

Ok, cool.

What would be an example of feeling anxious?

Best wishes,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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johnboy
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Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:56 pm

Mainly I'm an introvert, and somehow for work I have to stand up in front of people and 'perform'. Anxiety beforehand. Also if I have to write an email outlining how much my services cost. Anxiety is almost ever present in my experience. I know that the only way is to turn and face it and include it in my experience, but i mostly try to avoid it.

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johnboy
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:56 pm

Mainly I'm an introvert, and somehow for work I have to stand up in front of people and 'perform'. Anxiety beforehand. Also if I have to write an email outlining how much my services cost. Anxiety is almost ever present in my experience. I know that the only way is to turn and face it and include it in my experience, but i mostly try to avoid it.

User avatar
johnboy
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:56 pm

Mainly I'm an introvert, and somehow for work I have to stand up in front of people and 'perform'. Anxiety beforehand. Also if I have to write an email outlining how much my services cost. Anxiety is almost ever present in my experience. I know that the only way is to turn and face it and include it in my experience, but i mostly try to avoid it.

User avatar
johnboy
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:56 pm

Mainly I'm an introvert, and somehow for work I have to stand up in front of people and 'perform'. Anxiety beforehand. Also if I have to write an email outlining how much my services cost. Anxiety is almost ever present in my experience. I know that the only way is to turn and face it and include it in my experience, but i mostly try to avoid it.

User avatar
johnboy
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:56 pm

Mainly I'm an introvert, and somehow for work I have to stand up in front of people and 'perform'. Anxiety beforehand. Also if I have to write an email outlining how much my services cost. Anxiety is almost ever present in my experience. I know that the only way is to turn and face it and include it in my experience, but i mostly try to avoid it.

User avatar
s-p-a-c-e
Posts: 4316
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:52 pm
Contact:

Re: let's start

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Wed Jul 08, 2020 6:03 pm

Mainly I'm an introvert, and somehow for work I have to stand up in front of people and 'perform'. Anxiety beforehand. Also if I have to write an email outlining how much my services cost. Anxiety is almost ever present in my experience. I know that the only way is to turn and face it and include it in my experience, but i mostly try to avoid it.

Ok, thank you. Let's take the email re:services/cost.
What is it that you fear happening?

Best wishes,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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johnboy
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Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 9:29 pm

fear of getting it wrong- the price. Asking for too much. And, if I get it, more anxiety about having to give value for money. Which is all ridiculous, because usually I'm very good!
Fear of disapproval, of not being liked.
Also, underneath, fear of success in life. It's coming late in life, 62 years old. I have a huge amount to offer, I'd just like to pay a lesser price anxiety-wise whilst offering my gifts.

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johnboy
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Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 9:32 pm

Even when a weekend goes really well, there's still a part of me that makes me pay a price-exaggerated tiredness afterwards or my body somatising medical conditions (more in the past than now)

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: let's start

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Wed Jul 08, 2020 11:22 pm

fear of getting it wrong- the price. Asking for too much. And, if I get it, more anxiety about having to give value for money. Which is all ridiculous, because usually I'm very good!
Fear of disapproval, of not being liked.
Also, underneath, fear of success in life. It's coming late in life, 62 years old. I have a huge amount to offer, I'd just like to pay a lesser price anxiety-wise whilst offering my gifts.

Ok, thank you. Age is funny - affects some things and not others. I speak to folk from 96 to 16, am sure you do too, same patterns.
Fear of disapproval, of not being liked.

Would you fear disapproval if you didn't think you were deserving of it?

Much love,
John
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U

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johnboy
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Re: let's start

Postby johnboy » Wed Jul 08, 2020 11:31 pm

no, obviously I wouldn't. Thank you. So this suggests I hold the belief that I'm worthy of disapproval! That's terrible! And means I'm attracting it!

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s-p-a-c-e
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Re: let's start

Postby s-p-a-c-e » Wed Jul 08, 2020 11:45 pm

no, obviously I wouldn't. Thank you. So this suggests I hold the belief that I'm worthy of disapproval! That's terrible! And means I'm attracting it!

Well, let's park the attracting malarkey. :)

But, yes, if you fear it, then it's generally because you believe it about you.

Which on the one hand is terrible :) but on the other hand is a relief to know this is something in your gift. So you're not subject to this, you are the source.

Sit with that a moment, that you are the source of your own disapproval.

Share what shows up.

john
"The more he looked inside, the more Piglet wasn't there." - A.A.Milne

Author, The Faun's Apprentice - see on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fauns-Apprenti ... B01AR2B63U


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