Seeing

[Skygazer74]

Hi Rick,

I feel the urge to apologise that I’m like a broken record. I imagine you getting tired of repeating yourself. But I dont actually know that any more than I know anything else

No worries, not at all!

I am finding myself in a new relationship, a little love drunk, but not a million miles from awareness all the time. It enhances it often.

Me too actually!! :)

I cannot see where they come from, or where they go to. This idea of self appears to hold or receive them, create them etc. But if I look for direct evidence of that, I can’t find it.

Yes, it can't be found when looked for, despite assumptions.

It also begs the question; where does this self come from? Or go to. I mean its always changing anyway. Sometimes paradise, other times a nightmare. If it comes from nothing, slips away into nothing...it can’t be something in between, however much it might appear that way.

You are assuming there is something there. Look at this, and tell me what happens when it comes from somewhere or goes somewhere? Then you can answer yourself (as it were!) - Where does this self come from? What is there to show you that something is coming and going at all?

Best wishes,

Nic

[Skygazer74]

Hi Rick,

Are you still engaged with this? It would be good to know where you are at, and if you want to continue we need to be in more regular dialogue :)

Cheers,

Nic

[seriousrick]

Hi Nic,

Sorry for the quiet. Life has been busy, but more relevant is the fact that, emotionally, I have essentially lost faith in ever finding a kind of abiding freedom. The breakthroughs here were very intense but, as always, they fade, and the sense of my being real is almost continuous.

Best
Rick

[Skygazer74]

Hi Rick,

I suspect the reason why the breakthroughs faded were because we slowed down with the looking and exercises. I am sure that if we can find momentum again we can see you through, but you will have to commit?

What is this sense of 'my being real,' can you say how that manifests? There is a real being, and life is happening. All that we are trying to see is that the self, the separation, is an illusion.

Best wishes,

Nic

PS - I am off on retreat tomorrow for just over a week, but should be able to reply nonetheless!