Truth Seeker

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Anastacia42
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Anastacia42 » Mon Jul 20, 2020 11:07 pm

Hi Kyleen,
Trusting that if I just let them run there course they will not overtake my life lol. Which I know is completely illogical now but in the moment it feels very real.
If I am reading this correctly (I'm not sure), you are settling into knowing that fears will not "overtake your life." True. When you LOOKED at fears, what did you tell me was there? Nothing. It is logical that nothing cannot overtake your life. Do you see?

Yes, if you will now go ahead and answer the "final questions," (nothing is really final, but for this portion). This will help me know what else is unclear or maybe you are complete with the seeing of no self and can move on to exploring the ramifications of how things are now.

Be clear and concise. I will be asking other guides to help with these for clarity.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. (cover each one separately)

What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience. (cover each question with examples for each)

6) Anything to add?


Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Kyleen17
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Wed Jul 22, 2020 8:09 pm

Just keeping you in the loop and letting you know due to a busy schedule the past two days it’s looking like I will not be able to answer the questions until tomorrow.

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Anastacia42
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Anastacia42 » Wed Jul 22, 2020 9:37 pm

Thank you. I do keep looking for them. :)
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Kyleen17
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Fri Jul 24, 2020 8:23 pm

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No there is no separate self. There is a body and thoughts and emotions but no one is controlling it.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
I see it as something I believed when I was younger and didn’t have the ability to question it. But now that I’m looking it seems life is mind interacting with mind. When there is no mind say in a coma or sleeping, there is no self,nothing. With this is a lot of fear passing through, and ur right I feel like it may take years to fully develop.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days
It is off putting to see this. Before I started this dialogue I’ve heard of the no self concept and all I knew was that somewhere that rang true for me. But I didn’t know what I was gonna find. It just gets deeper and more expansive, the experience. I’m not as prone to buying into the drama of kyleen. It’s almost like a boredom. It’s not interesting anymore.
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look
? Looking at how my mind constructs my life. Seeing that it seems everyone is in an agreement to uphold each other’s dillusion. I feel like the odd man out. It’s not as serious as they make it.
Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. (cover each one separately)
decisions are made without me. A thought pops in my head that I was not responsible for generating and if movement is required it happens. It’s almost robotic?
Intention- again there is no me to set an intention. I am life experiencing life. Where I used to think I would have intentions is really life setting intentions through this body.
Free will- I have no option in this game. That’s the depressing part
Choice- same as above
What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience. (cover each question with examples for each)
so I’ll use the example of me going down the shore with my family. Thoughts arose of vacation and life force in me used my voice and body to communicate with my family. Life moved through us all to get in the car and life drove the car. I either like to use the word life or god.
6) Anything to add?
This was not what I was looking for!!! But it actually was bc I ( life)was looking for truth.

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Anastacia42
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Anastacia42 » Fri Jul 24, 2020 11:45 pm

Hi Kyleen,
Free will- I have no option in this game. That’s the depressing part
Do you notice how there seems to be an "I" here?

An "I" that didn't get what it wanted? And *thinks* it is depressed?


That's still seeing an illusory "self." Noticing this is good news. It means you're not fully seeing, yet.

Can you find this "I" that *thinks* it has none of this thing called "free will?"

What color is this "I?"
What sounds does it make?
What sensations?
What does it taste like?
What does it smell like?

Do you find thoughts arising?

Are you believing the story these thoughts are telling you?

LOOK and LOOK again.


What is the ACTUAL EXPERIENCE?
What is just content of thought?


Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Kyleen17
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 2:27 am

Do you notice how there seems to be an "I" here?

An "I" that didn't get what it wanted? And *thinks* it is depressed?
Yes I am able to see the I am depressed thought is just another thought. I feel like this no-self is haunting me and when I try to get away from it ITS ALL I SEE. I feel little episodes of fear throughout the day and always end up going back to who feels the fear. I’m not at the level of being able to see my thoughts n emotions pass through me without clinging to some of them and the construct building happens again.
Can you find this "I" that *thinks* it has none of this thing called "free will?"
After looking no I can not find an actually I just noticing thoughts of one. I realized it is literally living through me and I actually never had my own will.
What color is this "I?"
What sounds does it make?
What sensations?
What does it taste like?
What does it smell like?
In this sense I just notice the I thought wanted to take credit or ownership of everything that is seen, smelled, tasted through this body.
Do you find thoughts arising?

Are you believing the story these thoughts are telling you?
Yes thoughts arising and yes some attachment but also more able
To see through thoughts too. How do we not attach so easily?

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Kyleen17
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 2:31 am

Missed this one...
What is the ACTUAL EXPERIENCE?
What is just content of thought?
Actual experience is through the senses, that correct?
When I do bring my attention to my senses, I am immediately taken out of my head(story) into present reality, its a matter of when I remember to do that

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Anastacia42
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Anastacia42 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 2:49 am

Hi Kyleen

Your doing good LOOKING often, it seems.

Yes.
Actual experience is through the senses, that correct?
When I do bring my attention to my senses, I am immediately taken out of my head(story) into present reality, its a matter of when I remember to do that
I think you know what Katie says. "If you want depression, get a past. If you want anxiety, get a future."

I hear you about feeling depressed. I can't offer therapy for that. I can only point.

Emotions are Sensation plus content of thought.

What is the Actual Experience (Yes, through the senses) of "depression?"

What else does it take to call the experience, "depression? "

LOOK at what you've labelled depression. What is there?

Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Kyleen17
Posts: 61
Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2020 4:57 am

Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 8:17 pm

What is the Actual Experience (Yes, through the senses) of "depression?"
Umm none I’d say. When thought is not involved there is no opinion,judgement, nothing telling me I’m depressed or attaching to depressed thoughts....there is nothing
What else does it take to call the experience, "depression
? "
Believing and labeling content of thought. It’s so subtle almost like an addiction believing contents of thought and most of the time don’t realize I’m doing it until feelings follow. But the more and more I’m waking up I’m able to let go and ask myself “is it true?”
LOOK at what you've labelled depression. What is there
?
Combination of thoughts, low energy, and feelings that I am labeling or attaching a story too. Resistance. Thinking things “should” be another way when they are not.

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Anastacia42
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Anastacia42 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 9:22 pm

Perfect. Yes.

Please watch this nothing & question it, then report back again tomorrow or the next day.

Loving ❤
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Kyleen17
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:26 pm

What exactly do u mean when u say to question the nothingness? Can u give me an example pls? Thanks💜

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Anastacia42
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Anastacia42 » Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:57 pm

Hi Kyleen,

Your replies above repeatedly say that there is no depression to be found - just like there is no self to be found.

Yet, somehow, you are still believing in this "nothing," just like you used to believe in a "self."

It is paradoxical, but you must LOOK for this depression and continue to find nothing there, so that something "clicks" and recognition of nothing there becomes your reality. We LOOKED and found no self. Now, LOOK and find no depression until it isn't just a belief or a philosophy, but you see the reality of it.

Got it? If not, call me.

Loving,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Kyleen17
Posts: 61
Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2020 4:57 am

Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Mon Jul 27, 2020 6:08 pm

Got it. Thanks for explaining. Will let u know tomorrow!

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Anastacia42
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Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Anastacia42 » Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:43 pm

My pleasure, Kyleen. There is no hurry. I would like to hear from you each day or every other day to say how it's going, but seeing no depression happens when it does. We can't make it happen.

Love,
~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost
in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

~ Sam Harris

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Kyleen17
Posts: 61
Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2020 4:57 am

Re: Truth Seeker

Postby Kyleen17 » Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:13 pm

Thank u for ur last reply. It’s helpful to remember nothing will happen before it’s supposed to. I sat with the nothingness for a little this morning. I see a black all covering space. That’s what “I” have labeled nothingness. The depressive or whatever thoughts come and go. This is as far as I got so far....


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